


Choice and Timing

by UnderneathAnotherTree (underneaththewalnuttree), underneaththewalnuttree



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-03-10 04:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 78,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underneaththewalnuttree/pseuds/UnderneathAnotherTree, https://archiveofourown.org/users/underneaththewalnuttree/pseuds/underneaththewalnuttree
Summary: ‘HIRAI MOMO AND MYOUI MINA—REPORT TO JYPE HEADQUARTERS. DO NOT SPEAK TO ANY MEMBERS OR REPRESENTATIVES OF MEDIA OUTLETS. DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS. PICK-UP VEHICLE EN ROUTE. ETA 30 MINUTES.’--Or, Momo and Mina accidentally get married, and nothing changes. Then, everything changes.





	1. The ocean version of TWICE

**Author's Note:**

> Starts in November 2017, and is about half AU and half based on real events. Almost entirely inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/951632049701441536) GIF.

It’s their last stop in TWICE’s 3-city United States tour and though this past week has been just as demanding and time-constrained as every one of the group’s promotional engagements, Momo feels lighter than usual, mood buoyed by the excitement of visiting an entirely new country, across the world from the continent in which she was born and raised. She nudges a napping Nayeon, waking the girl up when their plane’s descent reveals a sprawling, gleaming city built smack in the middle of an extensive desert, now illuminated by the early dawn. 

“Can all our flights be as short as this one?” Nayeon peers out Momo’s window and then yawns, stretching her arms above her luxuriously and almost hitting Jihyo, seated on the row’s aisle seat. “I had no idea Los Angeles and Las Vegas were so close.”

Momo surveys the surrounding seats and her bandmates’ arrangements—Dahuyn, Sana, and Tzuyu in the row behind them; Chaeyoung, Mina, and Jeongyeon in the row in front of them—and smiles contently. There is no other group of people she would rather fly across the world with. “And yet you still had time to fall asleep on me and drool on my shirt,” Momo retorts with a huff while examining the sleeve of her cardigan, only to yelp when an indignant Nayeon slaps her arm. “Jihyo, did you see this act of violence?”

Jihyo watches the two bickering members with a fond, amused smile that almost makes Momo forget that they’re both older than her. “Nayeon, please remember we need Momo in one piece for our show this afternoon.” Cockily, Momo raises a self-satisfied eyebrow to Nayeon, until Jihyo amends, “you can beat her up _after_ the show.”

While Nayeon and Jihyo veer off into a conversation about the aforementioned show, Momo catches sight of an unopened croissant resting temptingly atop Mina’s tray. She leans forward and notices that Chaeyoung is soundly asleep on Mina’s shoulder while Mina herself carries on a murmured conversation with Jeongyeon, who is seated at the window and is pointing to the scenery below them. 

Momo taps Mina on the arm and, caring not to wake Chaeyoung, she whispers, “Mitang, are you planning on eating your bread?”

At the sight of Momo’s toothy grin and realizing the predictability of her request, Mina chuckles, all easy charm and warmth. “Here. All yours.” Momo accepts the croissant gratefully and then takes an exaggerated bite from it that makes Mina laugh and consequently wakes Chaeyoung.

“Hey, maybe I was going to eat that,” Jeongyeon complains half-heartedly as Mina closes her tray and the plane begins to land, going on to add, “Momo, can you give me some of it?” Her whining request prompts a possessive Momo to lick the entirety of the remaining piece, claiming it for herself in a way that sparks a round of disgusted laughter from everyone around them. 

Nayeon decides to join the conversation by extending a friendly hand to massage Mina’s shoulder while turning to Momo to scold, “you already stole my peanuts and Jihyo’s cookies and now you’re taking Mina’s food, too? Jihyo, Momo the Food Thief has just convinced Mina to give up her croissant. Are we going to do anything about this?”

Mina and Jeongyeon burst into laughter, Chaeyoung is now munching on a sandwich provided by Jihyo, and Momo is throwing a blanket over her own head in an attempt to hide from Nayeon. 

“It’s okay, Nayeon unnie; I wasn’t going to finish it,” Momo hears Mina’s muffled response just as the plane speakers broadcast the pilot’s welcoming to Las Vegas.

“Mina, stop covering for Momo. You let her get away with everything.”

As Momo emerges from her blanket fortress and is instantly flicked on the forehead by a disapproving Nayeon, she nonetheless exchanges a conspiratorial wink with Mina, who seems to be wordlessly reassuring Momo that she’s on her side against Nayeon. Momo smiles back in appreciation, and then is immediately interrupted by loud groans from both Jeongyeon and Nayeon.

“There they go again,” Jeongyeon mutters, as Dahuyn, Sana, and Tzuyu join them curiously, crowding the narrow aisle. “Mina and Momo are doing that thing where they [talk without talking](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3330753c4f50d1dc8b24f3505dbf352e/tumblr_od511zrHwx1vt1vago3_400.gif).”

To Momo’s surprise, every other member begins to nod in agreement, offering grumbled variations of “yeah, it’s so annoying,” and “have you ever been in the middle of them when they start? It’s awful,” and “I thought it was a Japanese thing but Sana said she doesn’t understand it, either.”

A clearly entertained Mina is smiling at their firm consensus, and Momo is about to respond to this senseless accusation in some way—no, Mina and her don’t talk without talking; how is that even possible; everyone is imagining things—but then Jihyo brings them all back into focus as she stands and sweeps her gentle, encouraging gaze across every member’s face. “Okay, TWICE. Last show in this country. Let’s finish strong.”

-

In their home turf of East Asia, TWICE has packed stadiums and outdoor arenas, and each time they’ve surpassed their own attendance records, Momo has always been overwhelmed by the enormity of their luck and the scope of their success. Tonight, however, their medium-sized, sold-out venue in Las Vegas is more intimate. Instead of a daunting mass of people, Momo catches individual faces of joy and star-struck expressions, and hears shouted singing and ecstatic cheers. Upon the conclusion of their encore number, Momo and her eight bandmates step off the stage and are thoroughly enveloped by the roaring, wall-shaking ovation of the crowd. And as they allow themselves a minute to indulge in this uniquely satisfying moment, Momo is consumed by a mix of happiness and disbelief, the still-pumping adrenaline not quite letting her feel exhausted yet. 

Jihyo ushers them into a tighter circle as they all hold hands; Mina and Tzuyu stand at Momo’s sides, and she shares an elated smile with both.

“Good job, TWICE. We did it.”

-

Under normal circumstances, each member of their group would be tiredly preparing for sleep after concluding an hours-long concert. Tonight, fueled by the lingering excitement of their successful performance, the urgency of having a very short 10 hours before their flight back to Seoul in the next morning, and their own curiosity to know this infamous city, all nine girls collectively decide to forego sleep in favor of exploring Las Vegas. 

They are spending the night in the same casino resort inside which they’ve just performed so all 9 girls quickly congregate in the room Jihyo is sharing with Tzuyu and Mina and are then immersed in a collective effort to develop a plan that will convince their manager to allow them to wander Las Vegas without their security team. In Asia, such a plan would be absolutely ludicrous; they haven’t been able to step outside their dorm without bodyguards in about two years. But in America they can enjoy some anonymity, and so, Jihyo and Nayeon—impressively businesslike and determined—leave the other 7 girls behind to meet with their manager and head of security, returning 10 minutes later with smug, triumphant grins that immediately prompt every squealing member to crush them underneath excited hugs. 

Each girl showers and changes into tourism-appropriate attire before receiving a thorough briefing on their approved plan. Momo stands sandwiched between Dahyun and Mina as Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo strategize on which Las Vegas landmarks they’ll have time to hit, more enthusiastic than usual after learning that true to the city’s fame, everything is apparently open 24 hours a day, ensuring closing times are not a concern. Various members shout out suggestions—“that huge lion statue!” and “that fountain thing that plays music!” and “that pyramid casino thing with the sphinx!” and “that casino where Celine Dion always sings and where that guy from the movie got lost!”—and Momo hears a low, timid voice beside her comment something about a sea life exhibit in their hotel and Momo concludes in the span of approximately 1 second that, one, the voice was Mina’s; two, no one heard it but her; and three, no one will want to go to an aquarium when they’re in Las Vegas. 

Jihyo, ever the responsible leader, mandates that no one spend a single second in the city unaccompanied by at least one other member, and then whips out individual copies of a city map in order to label, color-code, and circle each group’s itinerary as everyone’s preferred tourism spots are indicated: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Dahyun, and Sana will visit Caesar’s Palace, the Bellagio, and the Paris-themed casino, while Chaeyoung, Jihyo, and Tzuyu will head to the MGM, the New York-themed casino, and the Luxor. An expectant Jihyo turns to both Mina and Momo with a raised eyebrow, silently urging them to pick an excursion group.

It’s not that Momo isn’t enticed to tag along with either one of the itineraries—all those themed casinos sound amazing—but she’s well-aware that Mina has never been particularly fond of crowds, and that she would also rather crawl into a cave than ask someone to change their plans for her. And the thought of Mina pushing aside her desire to visit an aquarium for the sake of everyone else settles a heavy, uncomfortable weight inside her chest, and unthinkingly, Momo blurts out, before Mina has a chance to offer any response on her end, “I want to go to that aquarium place with Mina, the one we saw in the lobby.” A surprised Mina swivels to face her, just as every other girl registers some degree of surprise, and Momo squirms a bit because this is so unlike her; it must be painfully obvious that this isn’t a typical idea she’d have.

“The shark reef exhibit downstairs?” Jihyo inquires curiously; “Mina, do you want to go to that with Momo?”

Every other girl in the group appears to be in some stage of either laughing or frowning—or both—and it’s Nayeon who quips first, “Mina, let go of the gun you must be pointing behind Momo’s back to make her say she wants to go to an aquarium.”

“I didn’t even tell her I wanted to go to that,” Mina protests weakly, but joins in the laughter with some embarrassment when Sana comments cheekily, “that croissant you gave Momo must have been spectacular.”

“Momoring, we don’t have to go to that,” Mina murmurs to her discreetly, but Jihyo is already labeling all the maps with Mina’s and Momo’s colors to indicate where they’ll be, so Momo figures that even if she were to second-guess herself now, it’s too late to change her mind.

“It’s fine,” Momo assures her, smiling with more confidence than she feels. TWICE is a tight-knit group and she and Mina have always been close—two lead dancers, both Japanese—but lately it’s becoming more apparent that in the past few months, they have gravitated towards members whose temperaments more closely match their own; Mina with Tzuyu and Jihyo, and Momo with Dahyun, Sana, and Nayeon. Going off somewhere on their own feels like something they would have done last year. “It’ll be fun.”

Jihyo reminds them of their return time—2am, at the latest—and their hotel room assignments, and then they’re off. 

-

In what Momo can only assume is Mina’s way of showing her appreciation, the girl takes them to a luxurious snack bar—whose decoration is vaguely Asian-reminiscent but whose menu appears to be geographically scattered—immediately upon their descent to the hotel’s ground level, offering to buy Momo anything she would like from the expensive selection.

“I’m not hungry,” Momo lies as they stand in front of the large menu propped at the restaurant’s entrance, hoping to dissuade the girl from making this a bigger deal than it is. “We can just go to the aquarium; it’s okay.” But Mina is shy and reaching out to hold her hand, her shoulder-length hair partially covering her face but not completely concealing a light blush on her cheeks.

“Momo, I know you wanted to go with the other girls to the casinos,” Mina states with understanding, “but you came here with me instead, so let me buy you something good to eat.” The girl reads Momo more quickly than Momo can read her—before Momo can reject her offer again, Mina asks instead, “if I buy something for myself, will you share with me?”

And Momo finds herself unable to say no again, unable to give her any negative response when the girl is so earnest and kind and intent on doing this simple thing—Mina, being Mina. So Momo nods her assent and five minutes later, Mina is feeding her pieces of a hefty fruit crepe while they make their way to the aquarium.

“What does your fortune cookie say?” Momo asks through a mouthful of strawberry and bananas, removing her own cookie from its plastic wrapping.

Mina holds her fortune in front of her for inspection. “It says… ' _you will be hungry again in an hour_ ,’ so I think we switched cookies,” she jokes, turning her attention to Momo’s reading of her own strip of paper.

“‘ _Love is choice and timing._ ’ Why did I get the corny one? We really did switch cookies.” She laughs when Mina nudges her with her elbow in half-hearted affront.

It’s a relatively short walk even with their leisurely pace, and silences with Mina are never awkward—indeed, it’s one of her best qualities, that she’s always been introverted and thoughtful, so no one is ever made to feel uncomfortable when she doesn’t speak much—but they’re engrossed in conversation so Momo doesn’t notice the time passing as they alternate Korean and Japanese in the criss-crossed hybrid language they created with Sana. 

As they approach the aquarium’s entrance, they talk about their concert experiences in the United States, and how loudly the crowds tend to cheer. 

“I’ve read that it’s a cultural thing,” Mina explains, noticing with some mild dismay a trail of chocolate syrup that has melted from her spoon down to her hand, “that American culture encourages expressions of emotion and that kind of stuff. So Americans tend to be more outgoing for that reason.”

Momo’s eyes flicker to Mina’s tongue darting out to lick the syrup from one of her fingers and remembers that Mina was born in Texas and chuckles, teasing with a nudge, “Americans are more outgoing? I guess you’re a defective one. We should all get a refund.”

Her chuckle blooms into laughter when Mina blushingly scowls and threatens to eat the rest of the crepe by herself.

As they enter an impressively long and dim glass tunnel through which they can watch various species of colorful fish and rays, they talk about the other places they’d like to visit, and when they agree that France would be their next destination of choice, Momo declares with a grin that it would be “for the food,” while Mina simultaneously comments, “for the history,” and then they both halt in the middle of the moderately-empty walkway to gape at one another. 

The moment is a lot like an old western stand-off; Mina shoots off “the Louvre” while Momo shoots back, “baguettes and fondue” and then Momo’s stern countenance melts away at Mina’s mild horror at her response, and she can’t help it then but laugh and pull Mina into a hug because Mina is Mina and Momo really hopes she never changes.

While they stare into a tank inside which they spot octopi, sea horses, and crabs, they discuss the choreography for their next comeback single, _Heart Shaker_ , delving into the technicalities of the movements and the optimal transitions and pacing. Momo ponders idly that Mina, more than anyone else in TWICE, has the widest gap between who she is in her everyday demeanor and personality, and who she becomes whenever they are performing. Momo recognizes how her own outgoing nature enables her to inhabit the sensual quality of her dancing style quite easily, Nayeon and Sana flirt with their audience as though they are 50% human and 50% seduction, and everyone else’s stage persona closely follows who they are in real life. Except Mina.

The Mina in front of her, who is most in her element when removed from any sort of attention, and whose bright, inquisitive gaze is following the swimming trail of a nearby seahorse, is the same Mina who’s embodied, side-by-side with Momo, the kind of provocative choreography that has managed to entice just about the entirety of East Asia, only to comfortably revert right back into an unassuming introvert once the music fades off. And Momo understands and appreciates this, that she and Mina are diametrically opposed in many ways, but both grew up shaped by their dance dreams and this is where they feel most at home; this is where they’ve planted their feet and their freedom.

They agree that one of the seahorses appears to be dancing in pace with _Heart Shaker_ so Momo pulls out her phone and her headphones, offering one of the earbuds to Mina, and begins to play the song to confirm their suspicions. And then Mina chuckles that the seahorse’s movements are particularly fluid, which means that it must be the Momo of the ocean version of TWICE. 

They continue to explore the aquarium and Momo picks up excerpts of Mina’s concurrent commentary on the science behind seafloor mapping, averting her face at times to contain the urge to tell Mina what a huge nerd she is. And when Momo notices the deep blue swatches of light that swim across Mina’s features to reveal what every other member of TWICE has always known—that Mina really has no bad angles—she notes the occasional looks thrown their way, and how some of the attention is targeted at her, but a lot of it goes to Mina. 

When Mina’s gaze is lost amid a breathtaking exhibit of jellyfish, Momo disguises a satisfied smile by turning her attention to a souvenir shop, from which she purchases a small penguin-shaped fork with her last 5 dollar bill.

When she rejoins Mina, the girl has taken a seat on a bench facing the expansive glass panel, and as Momo takes the spot next to her, she extends the gift with a grin. “For our penguin.”

To her surprise, Mina holds out a small gift-wrapped object as well. “I’m glad you were distracted getting that; I wanted to buy you this without you seeing.” Momo is impressed by her slyness, and as the gift-wrapping is torn away, she grins after catching sight of a hilariously-oversized aquarium-themed shirt. “They didn’t have your size; I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” Momo assures, warmed by Mina’s bashfulness. “I’ve been wanting a shirt-shaped blanket.”

Momo beckons Mina closer with a small motion of her chin, and when Mina slides towards her on the bench, she wraps her newly-gifted shirt around their shoulders. And as they turn their attention back to the tank before them, Momo shares her headphone earbuds again and plays them another song.

-

On their way back, Momo spots the casino lobby—gambling appliances and card tables stretching as far as their eyes can see—and impulsively suggests that they try their luck in a slot machine. 

Mina picks a machine that might as well be an actual video game, given the lights and controls and points system, and manages to win them $5 on a $1 bet. The stool-like seat makes it so Momo has to sit on Mina’s lap to play her turn, and a strange sort of exhilaration washes over her when she scores another point and Mina happily squeezes her into a hug. 

They’re surprised—shocked, even—when a casino hostess provides them with a complimentary pair of fruity-scented shots. Mina and Momo are old enough to drink in South Korea, and indeed, have drunk alcoholic beverages before—in small amounts, perhaps twice in their entire lives, and only with the rest of the girls as a carefree celebration after winning some big award—but the drinks in front of them look unfamiliar and they’re about 100% sure that only Momo, technically, can legally drink in America. 

It’s her natural impulsiveness, exacerbated by the thrill of gambling, or the excitement of being in a larger-than-life city, or just the elation of sharing this new place and this new experience with the girl with whom she’s shared every major moment of the last 3 years—it’s a combination of all these factors that drive Momo to raise her shot, winking eyebrow daring a wide-eyed Mina to do the same, and drink it in a single burning gulp.

“How does it taste?” Mina inquires curiously, laughing at Momo’s instantaneous wince.

“Terrible,” she answers bluntly, joining her in laughter. “Now drink yours.”

Mina adjusts on their seat, one of her arms still idly resting around Momo’s waist, and follows suit, grimacing at the aftertaste.

“It didn’t smell as bad as it tasted,” she comments with displeasure, and a mellow Momo laughs again, appreciating the warmth from the alcohol and the warmth from Mina’s proximity. 

“We already won $10 from that $1 you put in,” Momo observes, watching scattered passersby and noticing their varying nationalities, dress styles, and expressions. “I think you’re good luck, Mitang.” There’s a low hum of music and pieces of conversation surrounding them, but the universe is quiet, mostly, save for Mina’s voice. 

Sometimes Momo thrives on high-level energy and on playing pranks and the frenzy of activity that all comprise her friendships with Chaeyoung, Dahyun, Sana, and Jihyo. Sometimes she craves the sarcasm and biting humor of Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Tzuyu. And sometimes she likes the calm that surrounds Mina, the sort of peacefulness that is reassuring and relaxing and allows Momo to hear her own thoughts, to notice her own heartbeats.

“I think it’s you, honestly,” Mina counters in a murmur, leaning forward to rest her body against Momo’s back. “I never win anything. If it was just me, I would have lost that dollar on the first try.”

Momo smiles to herself at Mina’s reliably self-deprecating response, then pulls the machine’s lever down and settles back into the easy comfort of Mina’s embrace, watching the screen’s colorful glow display various shifting animals, jewels, and fruits. 

It might be the alcohol, finally seeping into her bloodstream. Or it might be exhaustion from their earlier concert, finally settling into her bones. Or, she thinks fleetingly, in a flash of recognition that’s gone as quickly as it arrived, that it might be Mina and her soft voice and her comforting warmth and that faint scent of jasmine that envelops them now. It might be any of these things, or perhaps all of them put together. They might be why Momo accepts another shot from the hostess a few minutes later, and another shot after that, and then wakes up six hours later and cannot remember anything that happened after she smiled at Mina and pulled that lever.

-

It’s a whirlwind, the events that follow that evening.

When a loud and obnoxious alarm blares her awake, Momo finds herself sprawled onto a hotel bed that she’s absolutely sure is not hers, because she was supposed to share a room with Chaeyoung and Sana, and it’s Jihyo and Tzuyu—Mina’s hotel roommates—who are surrounding her, finishing their packing.

She means to commence her own packing in her assigned room, but a combination of throbbing headache, churning stomach, and ton-heavy limbs seems to pin her down onto the bed, and for a fleeting moment Momo wonders whether she’s dizzy or is in fact seeing her life flashing before her eyes. 

“Morning, Momo,” Jihyo greets after a yawn—the sound of her voice is a lot like a sledgehammer perforating Momo’s forehead so instinctively she reaches for a pillow and wraps it around her head. “You and Mina got here super, super late and were also super, super drunk, so I should kill you two, but at least you’re alive—which is, um, uplifting news considering Mina was throwing up this morning.”

That last tidbit information jars Momo’s senses, jolting her muscles with alarm, and she immediately flings the pillow aside to face Jihyo. “Where is she?” she mumbles worriedly, voice scratchy from disuse. 

“Mina unnie is showering,” Tzuyu replies with a grunt, engaged in an attempt to close her luggage that doesn’t appear too promising. 

“Are you going to shower, too? We have about twenty minutes,” Jihyo informs helpfully.

Momo groans her assent, standing up from the bed unsteadily and heading to the bathroom. Just as she’s approached the doorway, Mina steps out wrapped in a towel, refreshed and clean but also pallid and woozy, apparently about a hundred times worse off in her hangover than Momo is.

“This is it. This is death, Momo,” Mina murmurs, tone dark and miserable, wincing and raising a hand to her temple. “I think my stomach is being turned inside out.”

Momo nods sadly, commiserating. “We must have consumed our body weight in alcohol.” She places a sympathetic hand on the girl’s shoulder, and, despite the pounding inside her skull and the haze blurring her memories, she still smiles. “We’re such light-weights, Mitang.”

-

Exhaustion—and, in some cases, the lingering effects of hangovers—knocks the girls into a deep slumber on their flight back home. By the time they land in Seoul, it’s the morning of the next day and Momo finds Chaeyoung unconscious on her lap and Sana in open-mouthed sleep on her shoulder. The incoming sunlight from the plane window is merciless and Momo feels as though her brain is bleeding, so she averts her eyes to the side, noticing Mina’s haggard appearance (part hangover, and part jet lag) while the girl is talking to Nayeon.

Most girls slip back into sleep on the drive back to the dorm from the airport, and Momo has to summon every ounce of her remaining strength to unpack her luggage once they have arrived in their rooms, as every member of TWICE has to send their worn outfits to JYP’s styling branch promptly for cleaning.

While unfolding a rumpled ball of clothes, she finds both the aquarium shirt Mina bought her—the memory of that is dishearteningly murky—and a pair of completely unfamiliar gaudy plastic circular items, which fall from the bundle with a low patter against the floor. Momo flinches with a reminder of her persistent headache when she bends down to retrieve the fallen objects, then holds them for examination on the palm of her hand.

They’re cheaply made and in colors that aren’t particularly appealing—a sort of neon pink and green—and Momo turns them over a few times, wondering silently; are these rings? Whose are they? How did they end up in her luggage?

There’s a joke to be told about Las Vegas marriages officiated by an Elvis impersonator inside a shabbily-decorated chapel, and Momo wishes her diminished mental capacity would allow her to tell it to a drained Jeongyeon beside her, but she tiredly throws the items back into her jacket pocket instead, and joins Jeongyeon in complaining about their lack of sleep.

-

It all happens at once, as though the universe were snapping into a state of turmoil the second all 9 girls step into the kitchen to discuss the schedule for the day.

Jihyo begins to read off their e-mailed instructions from their band laptop, but barely manages to utter more than a few words. “Okay, so Jeongyeon and I have hair appointments; Nayeon and Tzuyu, you have recording for two hours; Mina and Momo, the choreography unnie asked to see you—” 

Right then, every phone begins to ring and brighten simultaneously, causing a small explosion of sound inside the small space. No one moves to answer their calls, as they have agreed before not to use personal phones during these briefings, but the sheer volume of concurrent calls is alarming and every girl exchanges uneasy glances; meanwhile, Chaeyoung pulls the laptop to her own corner of the kitchen island and begins to type briskly.

“Um… my mom is calling me…?” Dahyun notes, and promptly receives anxious nods from other girls, all in agreement that their family members are attempting to reach them.

Momo, for her part, notices that her phone in particular is receiving multiple calls; her parents, various friends, and even JYPE’s Legal Office. 

“Mina, is that Headquarters calling you?” Jeongyeon inquires apprehensively while peeking at Mina’s cellphone, just as all girls receive a text message blast commanding, ‘DO NOT SPEAK TO ANY MEMBERS OR REPRESENTATIVES OF MEDIA OUTLETS. DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS. MANDATORY 24-HOUR LOCKDOWN.”

“What the h—” Nayeon mutters, interrupted by another text blast.

‘HIRAI MOMO AND MYOUI MINA—REPORT TO JYPE HEADQUARTERS. DO NOT SPEAK TO ANY MEMBERS OR REPRESENTATIVES OF MEDIA OUTLETS. DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS. PICK-UP VEHICLE EN ROUTE. ETA 30 MINUTES.’

Instantly, Momo’s eyes snap to Mina’s, whose entire expression is perplexed and appalled. “What… why are they... why do we…” Momo stutters.

It’s Chaeyoung’s bewildered voice that breaks their tense reverie. “Um... Mina unnie, Momo unnie... did you...” Her disorientation seems to have knocked the breath from her lungs; her eyes bounce furiously from her laptop screen to Mina and Momo, and back to the screen. “Did you… get… _married_ …?”

Reactions from all girls are instant—there are some gasps and raised eyebrows and even a “what the fu—” that is interrupted when Momo and Mina are prompted to respond.

Momo’s frown is so rapid and pronounced that it literally hurts her facial muscles. “ _Huh_? What do you mean, _did we get married_?”

Mina, in turn, is completely flabbergasted, matching her level of disbelief with every other member of TWICE. “Chaeyoung, is that a joke?” Mina demands in a tone that manages to be both soft and polite while carrying what can only be called deep horror.

“It’s what the media is saying—there are all these reports in every website that you got married in Las Vegas to Momo—”

Momo would laugh at this allegation had they not received the text from JYPE; TWICE has been the subject of some very salacious headlines before, but this one truly takes the cake.

“Chae, we’re on lockdown; you can’t be on the internet,” Jihyo reminds urgently.

“It’s okay; I hid our IP address,” the young girl responds in a rush, “and hold on while I Google this more... I’m going to pull up the original outlet that’s reporting this...”

Momo’s gaze turns to Mina then, who is glued to her own stool, even paler than usual, clenching and unclenching her jaw with tension. Every other girl in the kitchen is holding her breath, seemingly in a state of suspended animation. 

“I thought foreigners couldn’t even get married in the US…” a confused Dahyun begins, slowly trailing off when everyone seems to simultaneously remember that Mina is, in fact, an American citizen.

In response, Mina lets out a pained groan and proceeds to bury her face in her hands.

“There’s no way this is true,” Nayeon asserts firmly. “This has to be just another scandalous headline; some gossip rag baiting for clicks.”

“Why would Headquarters send that text blast, though?” Jihyo queries uneasily.

Their discussion is halted when Chaeyoung looks up from her laptop with the widest-eyed panic Momo has ever witnessed outside of a horror movie. “Um… I think it’s true. There’s a tabloid in the US saying they have a screenshot of your marriage license.”

Nayeon and Jihyo apparently stop breathing, Dahyun grabs Tzuyu’s arm for support as though she were about to faint, and Mina’s face pales so dramatically that Momo is momentarily more worried about her current welfare, and the possibility that her soul is going to leave her body, than with the marriage mess.

Sana and Jeongyeon rush to join Chaeyoung behind the computer screen while everyone else seems to be debating leaving Mina and Momo’s sides. 

“Chae, load this supposed marriage license picture,” Sana urges, to which Jeongyeon shakes her head nervously, responding, “it says she has to join their newsletter—oh, she’s doing it right now.”

The sight of Mina’s blurry eyes, welled with unshed tears, stirs something odd inside Momo’s chest, something heavy and bothersome that she can’t control, an impulse to take some kind of action that will fix this for Mina. “Maybe it’s fake,” Momo proposes, well-aware of how desperately she’s grasping for some alternative to a scenario that could not be more horrifyingly inconvenient. “People photoshop things all the time. How hard is it to copy-paste our names into some marriage certificate template?”

“Okay, we’re loading the article right n—” Chaeyoung says, before her, Sana, and Jeongyeon’s features morph into complete and utter shock; in the span of less than a second, they catch a glimpse of something on the screen and abruptly slam the laptop shut so quickly and forcefully that it almost breaks the device, causing every startled bandmember to jolt back in sync.

“Um…” Jeongyeon mutters breathlessly and with palpable discomfort, “yeah, it looks like it really happened.”

“Yep,” Sana agrees weakly, sharing an enormously embarrassed cringe with Chaeyoung. “There’s, um… this American tabloid has something else. Besides the marriage certificate.” 

The generalized commotion in the kitchen abruptly settles into a pulsing, deafening silence in response to Sana’s statement.

“Don’t tell me they adopted a child,” Jihyo begins panickedly, while Nayeon is the one who shoots up from her stool to ask with horror, “did they make a sex tape?”

Mina instantly swivels to Nayeon, looking at her as though she’s grown a second head.

“No, neither of those things,” Chaeyoung replies, swallowing hard and watching Mina with apprehension.

An impatient Momo, almost nauseous now with dread, marches to the laptop, followed by the other 5 members. Mina reluctantly makes her way to them as well, and is promptly flanked by a supportive Tzuyu and Sana.

Jeongyeon takes the initiative to open the laptop back up and restore the video into its screen, and that’s when half of TWICE gasps so loudly that Momo is certain the neighbors heard them, while the other half is absolutely paralyzed with shock.

Nothing, really, in the entire world, could have prepared Momo for what she sees.

Momo could have taken several deep breaths beforehand. She could have been sitting down. She could have gleefully consumed her favorite pork feet dish prior to viewing this. And still, none of these would have made a difference.

Because when the screen displays, in moderately good resolution footage captured by a cellphone, her and Mina laughingly stumbling out of a casino chapel into a gaudy but homey hallway, arms entangled in a messy and unsteady embrace, and when it shows Momo giggling and gently pushing Mina back into a marbled wall, and when it shows her press her body into Mina’s and kiss her as though Mina’s mouth is the world’s sole source of oxygen, and it shows Mina kissing her back and smiling and then breaking off the kiss seemingly to make a joking comment before drunkenly pulling her back by her shirt collar into another kiss—when Momo watches all this, she realizes that all this energy she expended trying to deny what happened and trying to come up with some alternative explanation for all this mounting evidence, was spent in vain. Because nothing was photoshopped, nothing was copy-pasted. The rings she found in her luggage—they are _their_ rings.

The tabloids are right. She did marry Mina. And she can’t remember a single second of it.

Momo is frozen to her spot; body and mind overtaken by horror-induced paralysis. She doesn’t notice any of the surrounding girls, she registers no smells or sounds or sights or anything, really, besides the scene playing in front of her.

It’s almost ironic that when Chaeyoung hesitantly lowers the video window and the marriage certificate pops into view, that Momo catches sight of the official Nevada state seal and the legal-sounding verbiage, but her eyes dart to one line in particular, and after the gut-punch that was watching herself comfortably making out with Mina, this is what actually yanks a reaction from her—her jaw drops and her entire body stiffens, a reflex-like response to her heart’s leap into her throat.

“Wait, what the—” Momo glances up from the computer to throw a bewildered glance at Mina, who appears to be still be too overwhelmed by the mind-boggling video and looks just about ready to suffer an early death. “ _Momo Myoui_?” She reads off that line from the document out loud, almost as though wanting to ensure that this is what she’s actually seeing; that her eyes aren’t playing tricks on her. “My last name is Myoui?? I took _your_ last name??”

At this, Mina—not the most expressive member, truth be told—seems to momentarily emerge from the cloud of horror shrouding her face, and registers some degree of faint surprise. “You did?”

“Why would I even—I’m older than you!” Momo sputters.

“Do you two… remember any of this?” Jihyo poses tentatively, jerking back when both Mina and Momo immediately shout a resounding “NO!” in response.

The ensuing thudding, twitching silence surrounding the group of girls in the small kitchen seems almost suffocating, and Momo is gripped by a heart-stilling fear of how drastically their lives will change now. She wonders how absolutely catastrophic this scandal will be, how irreversible will be the backlash from their conservative Asian audience, whether this incident will derail any part of their careers, whether that video of her and Mina will affect their relationships with one another, and all of these devastating thoughts soak through her painfully like poison, strangling her until she feels as though the world is being swept from under her feet.

Vaguely, she’s aware of scattered conversations swimming in the air around her (“JYP will have it annulled, for sure” and “they were drunk and they don’t remember it, obviously; it has to be annulled,” and “yeah, that must be why they’re calling them,” and “don’t worry, guys; this isn’t going anywhere”), words and phrases from friends who seem to truly believe that things are going to be all right, and she spots both Sana and Jihyo murmuring consoling words to a partially-placated Mina. 

Mina meets her eye for a loaded second, and it’s a look that pulls Momo from the world around them and the friends encircling them, to ask her—are things really going to be all right? And the weight of this wordless question makes Momo swallow down every ounce of her own apprehension rioting inside her, because Mina wants reassurance from her before she’ll believe anyone else.

And that’s why Momo’s discreet smile to her is firmly optimistic and sure; so Mina can believe this, even if Momo herself doesn’t necessarily believe it—everything will be fine; they’ll handle this together and everything will be fine.

“I’m telling you—in 30 minutes our van will come pick you two up and your marriage will be annulled and it won’t be a big deal,” Jeongyeon is stating firmly, to everyone’s agreeing nods.

Nayeon speaks up, in a transparent attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

“Myoui Momo...” she murmurs, somewhere between musing and casual. “It doesn’t sound awful. Might even have a little bit of a ring to it.”

Perhaps it’s because indeed, everyone’s nerves have been tightened and coiled with the rapidly-worsening trainwreck that have been these last 5 minutes, but this is what finally seems to waken the girls to the absurdity of the situation, to just how truly ludicrous it would have been to even describe—let alone witness in real life—a drunken marriage between TWICE’s quietest member and one of its most outgoing; between the girl whose world is contained almost entirely within her own head, and the girl who has always relied on her body and her movements to convey everything her mouth can’t. 

“Sucks that they have the same initials now,” Sana adds with a shrug. “It’s going to be hard to label things.” 

“You know, now that you’re married like proper adults, there really is no reason you can’t be better about doing your chores around the dorm,” Jeongyeon chastises, gently nudging Momo.

Momo blinks in realization of what her friends are doing, and even Mina looks up from her lap to confirm their bandmates’ unsubtle, tender-hearted efforts to reassure the two affected girls.

“Yeah, married people can’t be lazy like us singles are,” Jihyo joins in, throwing Mina a pointed look.

“I hope you’re not expecting any wedding gifts,” Chaeyoung chimes in with a nervous smile. “You didn’t invite any of us—”

“Which is just about the rudest thing I can think of,” a disapproving Nayeon huffs, “since I would have loved to be a maid of honor to at least one of you.”

“I would have been Mina’s, so Nayeon unnie, you can have Momo unnie,” Tzuyu asserts confidently, resting her arm around a much-softened Mina, who is following the back-and-forth between her friends with amusement.

“Wait, why do you get to be Mina’s? What if I wanted to be Mina’s?” Sana questions, sounding legitimately miffed.

“Both of you are wrong—Mina would have definitely picked me to be her maid of honor,” Jeongyeon argues in turn, and then Momo feels her eyes prickle with the first indication of tears; her heart, soaring with gratitude that these are the girls she’s called her best friends for the past 3 years, soothed by their certainty that everything will be fine. 

They’re right, Momo tells herself, inner voice stronger than before; the marriage will be annulled and everything will be restored back to usual order. 

(Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Everythingwillbefine.)

She cheerily jumps into the conversation as well, in the way she knows best.

“Wait, back up—why does no one want to be my maid of honor?” 

Dahyun snickers something about Momo being a “bridezilla” and having a “dance choreography for the bridesmaids” and Jihyo comments that she always thought Mina’s wedding would be videogame-themed and Momo’s would be at an all-you-can-eat buffet, and then everyone is laughing as Nayeon imitates Momo’s aisle walk (a horrifically exaggerated catwalk-like prance with a dance break halfway through). 

Momo laughs until her abs begin to ache, and she watches a flushed Mina laughing and hiding her face into Tzuyu’s sleeve, and it really does seem, for a brief, hazy moment, that nothing’s happened; nothing’s changed; everything really is the same.

(Everything will be fine.)

-

It’s almost too much to absorb, all the information they are bombarded with during their first hour inside JYPE’s Headquarters. Momo and Mina are seated around an oppressively large mahogany table—round, dark, and imposing, a table that could be used in a movie for a high-stakes business negotiation scene—as the company’s legal team relay in a flurry of information the depth of the problem the two girls have gotten themselves into.

Momo registers select points, and tries to digest each one while at the same time minding Mina’s thoroughly horrified gaping as they try to follow a rapidly-changing slideshow projected in front of them:

-The footage was captured by a fan on vacation in Las Vegas.

-A major US outlet acquired the footage and obtained the public record of their marriage.

-The story first broke on their flight back to Seoul—by the time they had landed, the story had begun to circulate in Asia.

-JYPE was alerted to the story when the president of France was asked during an LGBT-focused press conference, impromptu, whether he had heard the news of two Korean popstars who had secretly married in the United States, and had consequently responded that he had not, but that he sincerely wished that this display of love would encourage world leaders in notoriously-conservative Asian nations to recognize the equal rights of LGBT people, and then went on to formally invite TWICE to perform in the French presidential estate.




Momo is searching her immediate vicinity for a paper bag she can use to remedy her sudden shortness of breath—while noticing that shell-shocked Mina isn’t even _breathing_ —and then realizes that the slideshow is still going on:

-Various heads of state—from Canada, the Netherlands, United Kingdom, and even the United States—prompted by influential LGBT activist groups and prominent figures, have released public statements in support of the marriage and invited TWICE for official performances.

-JYPE stocks have doubled in the last 24 hours.




Momo’s brain begins to feel as though it is slowly but surely melting inside her skull and she’s halfway through an effort to gather enough of her composure to ask to be excused to the bathroom—wherein she plans to wash her face or punch it and perhaps wake up from this nightmare—when the slideshow does stop this time, and the head lawyer from JYPE’s Legal Office addresses them for the first time.

“We would like for you to consider an option,” he proposes, intelligent and solemn while maintaining an approachable air. “In the past few hours, we have tested a variety of scenarios for this… incident… with our test groups and have found that there is one in which both you and JYPE can have some measure of control over this narrative, and retain public support for TWICE.”

Mina has barely uttered two words since their arrival in this office, but she’s the one who jumps in now. “Yes, sir; through an annulment, right?”

The head lawyer seems to exchange a fleeting look with other members of the legal panel, and Momo feels a wave of unease further aggravating her nausea.

“No, as a matter of fact… an annulment tested very badly with our test groups.”

Oh. My. God.

Momo’s jaw drops. She knows where this is going, and Mina is frowning because she has no idea, but Momo knows, and—

“The scenario that tested the best is for you and Momo to remain married. It would be an acting exercise for you, of course; the public would be none the wiser.”

Oh my God, she was right. JYPE wants them to pretend they’re married. Oh my God oh my God oh my God—

It’s the two girls’ turn to trade horrified looks, and if Mina’s face could have morphed into a literal question mark, it would have.

“Only for a year—with a potential six-month early termination if things go well,” another lawyer adds, but the clarification helps very, very little—Momo reads into the determined spark in Mina’s eyes and knows they are definitely not okay with this. They’ll turn it down—they have to.

“Um. Can Mina and I discuss this?” Momo requests tentatively, relieved when the lawyers assent and leave the office.

Instantly, Momo seizes Mina’s hand in unhidden panic. “Holy shit, Mina. Holy shit!” she whispers ferociously. “Married! For a year! What the hell!”

"Yeah, we have to say no," Mina’s nod is immediate but her unfocused gaze piques Momo’s worry. “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom really quick—I think I’m still hung over so I don’t feel too well and this meeting hasn’t made it any better,” Mina responds weakly, and when Momo moves to stand and follow her, Mina picks up on her intention and amends softly, “I’ll be right back—you don’t need to come with me.”

Understanding that this is Mina desiring privacy, Momo sits down once again and watches the girl leave while silently praying that she feel better when she comes back. Momo’s attention is so completely devoted to Mina and whether she should perhaps check on her after all, that it takes a second for her to realize that the small speakers affixed to the centermost part of the table appear to be picking up a low, staticky conversation, like an old-timey radio transmitting a broadcast marred by interference. The voice sounds vaguely familiar, like someone she’s heard recently—most likely from one of the lawyers standing just outside the conference room. Out of curiosity, Momo leans forward, closer to the speakers, and then catches a snippet of conversation that instantly alarms her.

_“Yes, we have pitched our favored idea. They do not appear very inclined to take it. Which is unfortunate, given Mina’s prior history with us.”_

Prior history with the Legal Team? What history does Mina hav—

Oh, shit—BamBam, of course. The [PR-nightmare](https://www.koreaboo.com/news/sasaeng-fan-threatens-murder-twice-mina/) picture that spawned two months of death threats, cyber-bullying, doubled security measures, weekly meetings with JYP himself to ensure Mina never “steps out of line again,” and the sort of emotional cost that worsened Mina’s already-not-stellar relationship with public attention. 

_“Yes, we may have to discuss a severance option with Mina in this case—”_

SEVERANCE?

AS IN LETTING MINA GO??

At this, Momo jumps back in her seat and promptly decides she does not need to listen to anything else. Her muscles spring into action before her lungs can prepare themselves for it—she pants as she practically runs to the bathroom and bursts inside, catching sight of Mina drying her hands by the sink, and then turning to her with wide-eyed apprehension.

“Momo, what are you—”

Firmly, Momo grabs Mina’s hand and pulls her inside one the stalls, efficiently locking them inside and then nervously wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. Agitation flows through her veins like electricity, and she anxiously paces the tiny space around the toilet in a fruitless attempt to organize the chaos in her mind before actually addressing Mina. 

“Momo—”

“Just a sec,” Momo forces out shakily, buying time but realizing there’s not much time to buy in the first place.

Mina only waits a few seconds before her patience apparently is worn thin, and she clears her throat and asks seriously, “Momo, what is it? You’re worrying me.”

There are half-finished sentences overwhelming her thoughts and Momo can hardly breathe, her mind is in such disarray right now.

_Mina, we need…_

_You need…_

_This is crazy…_

_I know what you’re going to say…_

_This is the best…_

_If we could just…_

_Please, just…_

_What if we…_

Mina’s voice edges into the scrambled mess of her mind, and every bone and muscle in Momo’s body is rigid with distress, but she halts her frenzied pacing nonetheless. “The lawyers are waiting for us; we have to—”

_You have to stay in TWICE._

“Let’s—let’s just do it,” Momo blurts out clumsily in her native Japanese, the slip causing Mina to frown, seemingly tipped off of her inner turmoil.

Mina blinks blankly, obviously unnerved by Momo’s words. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s… do it.” Momo clears her throat, second-guessing herself now on whether Mina’s befuddled expression—as well as her own internal fight against her rational, logical side—isn’t enough indication from the universe that she really is suggesting something insane. “Let’s pretend to be married, like they’re saying.”

Mina’s brows furrow together impossibly close as she crosses her arms—never a good sign—and then shoots back skeptically, “you’re joking, right? We would never pull it off.” 

The fact that Mina is at least considering—even if outright rejecting—the idea injects Momo with some frail hope. “We could. We totally could.” 

“Momo,” Mina begins, now truly confounded, “we’re not even gay. How—” 

“We would just have to act the way we already do,” Momo counters, much more smoothly than even she could have anticipated, and mentally she high-fives herself. It’s that self-congratulatory rush that fuels her on to add, “we’ve even kissed already.”

“The [pepero incident](http://chaenqs.tumblr.com/post/152932107542/mimo-doing-the-pepero-game-then-comes-minatozaki) last year doesn’t count,” Mina protests, halfway through an eye-roll, but Momo’s determination prompts her to barge on. 

“Mina, think about it—we’ve never done anything remotely romantic and people already ship us and write fanfictions and make video edits and fan art and—”

Mina cuts in once again, straightforward and analytical. “Why do you want to do this all of a sudden?” 

Shit. 

As it is, trying to outsmart Mina isn’t going that well, and now Momo has to lie convincingly. Her likelihood of success has just about taken a nosedive to 0.

“Because… I don’t believe in divorce…?” 

This time, Mina does roll her eyes. “We’re going to divorce anyw—”

Perhaps sticking as closely as possible to the truth without actually telling the truth is the way to go. “Fine—because I think we should just do what JYP says.” She only realizes her tone has shifted from persuasive to pleading when Mina lets the words hang in the air between them; suddenly, the entire bathroom seems smaller and dimmer, as though illuminated solely by the glint of confusion in Mina’s eyes. “They’re suggesting this because of what these test groups think, and I don’t want to piss people off, either. And besides, it’s only a year, and we even have that six-month option if things go well.”

“So you want to do this to obey JYP and please the public,” Mina surmises matter-of-factly, seemingly buying Momo’s justification.

“Yeah,” Momo replies easily, hoping so badly that Mina finally gives in and accepts her proposition, instead of continuing to resist.

A pensive Mina leans back against a wall with a sigh, closing her eyes and tightening her coat around her frail frame, no doubt running a thousand simulations a minute inside her intimidatingly-active mind.

Momo waits and waits with growing uncertainty and a fear that she will end up having to divulge her BamBam-related motivations after all, drudging up a past that Mina has tried so intently to leave behind.

Instead, she’s taken aback when Mina finally opens her eyes, training a calmer, focused gaze on Momo. “Okay. We’ll do it.”

-

They are afforded the opportunity to speak to their immediate family members to both disclose their contractual agreement for the next year, and reinforce the absolute necessity for secrecy. Momo struggles to make any progress past an explanation of how she and Mina got married overseas in the first place, let alone the terms that comprise the contract; her parents are understandably baffled and her sister can’t believe Momo is married (“to Myoui Mina! You know she’s too good for you, right?”) so after twenty minutes of a headache-inducing conversation, Momo forcibly bids her family goodbye while her mother fires off her hundredth question about Momo’s alcohol consumption overseas.

Tiredly, Momo makes her way to the meeting room inside which Mina is ostensibly having the same conversation with her own family, and manages to catch a snippet of the girl’s similarly exhausting reassurances. 

“… a contract, dad—we don’t have much of a choice; none of this is up to me. Mom, really, I’m not actually married.” Mina meets her eyes across the doorway and shakes her head with frustration while Momo offers her an empathetic smile. “Yes, I would have invited you. I would never get married without telling you. Well, aside from this one time.” Mina motions her over and Momo takes the seat next to her. “I have to go, mom. We can talk more later.” Out of habit, Momo lays a hand on Mina’s shoulder but the memory of their marriage and their video flashes inside her head and she immediately pulls back with a wince that Mina thankfully does not notice. “Yes, I will call later. Just remember that no one outside you, dad, and Kai can know about us. No, not even grandma and grandpa.”

A few seconds later, Mina hangs up as well and lays her head, forehead first, atop the desk in front of them. 

Momo cuts through the silence with a tense chuckle. “On a scale of 0 to the first time you had the birds and bees talk with your parents, how awkward was that conversation?”

She observes a tiny shrug from Mina before the morose girl actually replies with a muffled, “a twenty, probably. Because of that video of us. I got the feeling…” Mina hesitates, then finally raises her head to face Momo with a decidedly disheartened grimace, “that my parents think our marriage is real and I’m just too embarrassed to tell them.”

Momo is slightly taken aback because this isn’t at all how her own parents reacted—had the conversation been longer, perhaps the Hirais would eventually given her their opinion on the authenticity of their matrimony, but as it was, their entire phone exchange consisted of Momo attempting to explain how the marriage could have even taken place when they were in a foreign country on business, surrounded (presumably) by a security team.

“Ready to go back to the lawyers?” Momo queries gently, as a reminder that they’re still supposed to receive a full three-hour long briefing and additional media training before they’re dismissed for the day.

Even as they both stand, Momo notices Mina’s hesitation as the girl lingers by the table, staring at her phone in deep thought. “Momo…”

“Yeah?” 

“This is going to turn out okay, right?” Her tone is weighed down by a pained type of anxiety, and the softness of her voice, the fragility of her frame, and the way her eyes are wide and worried and hopeful, it all makes Momo sort of ache inside, a feeling she’s so unused to that she remains silent. “Things aren’t going to change too much, right? _We’re_ not going to change, are we?”

There’s so much Mina isn’t saying—so much more than what her words are actually conveying—and Momo knows the girl in front of her so well that these things might as well be spelled out for her, one by one: they work together so closely, they’ve known each other for so long, they love each other so much, they rely on each other so often for so many things…

Mina is asking her to promise to stay the same. And Momo opens her mouth to agree immediately, because losing Mina would be like losing a limb.

But then, something faint and hazy sparks inside her mind. It’s a blurry recollection—weak, like a memory of a memory, emerging from the edge of her conscience: Momo, pausing her drunken stumble down a casino hallway, enveloping Mina’s hand inside hers, and turning to the prettiest girl she’s ever seen in her life to give her the widest smile she thinks she’s ever worn, fueled by what she believes is a genius idea.

_(“Minaaaaaa… you know what we should do?”)_

Fuck. 

_("We should get married, Mitang.")_

This is her fault.

Breathlessly, Momo clears her throat, and wills her voice to be stronger and surer than she is. She can indulge her impending mental breakdown later—right now is not the time. “Of course not. We’re MiMo. We’re not going to change, Mina. Everything will be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to fangirl with me, [this](https://twitter.com/UnderneathTree) is my recently-inaugurated Twitter.


	2. Vegetable chips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feedback so far! I had no idea so many people would like this fic.
> 
> Following tradition, [this](https://78.media.tumblr.com/d87ca94ea2ba0a70916ec0eae3a2c9fd/tumblr_oda4e4bc741rsfpwlo9_250.gif) is the inspiration for this chapter.

Nothing changes. 

(At first.)

-  
Momo and Mina are immediately pelted with questions from their bandmates the moment they arrive at the dorm late that evening—the girls have been briefed already on their own obligations under Momo and Mina’s contractual agreement, and perhaps it’s because everyone has been in various stages of shock all day, but their questions revolve not around what in the world they were thinking, agreeing to carry on this farce to fulfill a contract, but on whether they’re okay, and whether there’s anything the girls can do to make things easier for them. Most of the concern is directed at Mina, understandably—this is the girl who is frail in ways Momo isn’t, the girl everyone feels an inexplicable desire to protect at all times—but Nayeon, Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Sana pull Momo to the side when the younger members convince Mina to watch a movie to distract her from the stress of the day, and the first question Nayeon asks her is serious and meaningful; “okay, now tell us the real reason you guys agreed to do it.”

Jihyo’s confusion is palpable when she adds, “it wasn’t just because the Legal Team suggested it, right?”

And Momo is inclined to take the same approach she took with Mina and tell a half-lie that can convince them, but she finds herself instead revealing the entire truth, about overhearing the lawyer’s conversation, about the BamBam incident rearing its head from the past, about being desperate to do anything that would keep Mina in TWICE, and about having to think on her feet to sell the idea to Mina without actually telling her everything. 

The girls nod in sympathy and Sana even reaches out supportively to give Momo’s arm a gentle squeeze, and Momo is reassured that they understand her actions; that this is what they would do for one another, without a second thought.

“And I thought I’d have to tell her about BamBam even though I was trying not to, because it would upset her,” Momo continues, observing all 4 girls surrounding her promptly nodding in agreement, “but then she agreed to it, and I was actually really surprised she said yes.” This last part seems to cause both Nayeon and Sana to scoff incredulously.

“Of course she said yes. When’s the last time Mina said no to you—trainee days?” Nayeon comments, rolling her eyes.

“Nope; not even then,” Jeongyeon answers readily.

“Well, we the Elder Council had a meeting and agreed on a couple of things.”

Momo and every other person in the room who isn’t Nayeon trade looks of ill-hidden amusement that Nayeon is calling them by the title the maknaes had come up with when TWICE was first formed, referring to the girls from 1995-1996 (which made Jihyo a sort of honorary member). 

“We don’t know if the Legal Team assigned you two roles or anything like that,” a solemn Jihyo begins, “but we agreed that you should be the spokesperson for your relationship.”

This throws Momo for a loop. “Me? Really? Mina is a better public speaker than I am, in both Korean and Japanese.”

“For band-related topics, yes,” Jeongyeon agrees, turning to Nayeon when the older girl complements, “but we all know she would rather dig a hole in the ground and bury herself than answer a question about her personal life on national television.”

“We’re afraid she’ll die of a heart attack the first time some media person surprises her with a question about you two,” Sana explains further with a worried glance in the general direction of where the younger members are gathered. “So we think you should answer the questions, when the questions start coming.”

In her worried musings about their situation, Momo hadn’t really considered how much worse the increased public scrutiny would be for introverted Mina. As a response, Momo nods in wholehearted agreement, because every member of TWICE has always had some unspoken agreement to shield the shyer members, like Mina and Tzuyu, from unnecessary attention whenever possible. 

Before Momo can verbalize her assent, Jihyo adds with a wince, “oh, and we were told that even the stylists and hair unnies and maintenance people can’t know about your fake marriage, so obviously you two need to live in the same room. So… Jeongyeon and Mina are switching rooms.”

Momo’s jaw slacks a bit at this, and her eyes shift from Nayeon to Jeongyeon, and then to Sana and Jihyo before she raises her eyebrows and clears her throat. “Yeah, she’ll really like that; going from the biggest room with her own bed, to the smallest, and sharing a bed with me.” Yes, Momo and Mina have shared beds before, perhaps once or twice, in hotels rooms during international stays. Definitely not as a permanent arrangement, however. She notices then that a significant part of Jeongyeon’s belongings are no longer in sight, and briefly wonders whether anyone has told Mina about this yet.

Which then makes her think of Mina, and how, all things considered, she would probably be one of the last members in TWICE she’d ever have guessed she would accidentally marry. Absentmindedly, Momo notes with a murmur, “we’re so different, you know? How was it so easy for people to believe Mina and I got married, even before that magazine got our marriage license?”

Initially, Momo poses this as a rhetorical question—but then is promptly reminded by the girls, in quick succession; “you’ve called her your girlfriend [more](http://otwicepairing.tumblr.com/post/148888757250/gay-shit-girlgroups-do-momo-giving-hints-of-her) than [once](https://67.media.tumblr.com/474e422a898dfe368910b8ca57a546d7/tumblr_obpzr5PULF1rnk2vho1_400.gif),” Sana replies off-handedly, while Jeongyeon adds with a shrug, “you [bragged](http://otwicepairing.tumblr.com/post/153044838575/abitofeverythingstrange-the-accidental-real) on a nationally-syndicated radio station that you had kissed her.”

Momo chuckles proudly at that; “yeah, that was just to make her fanboys mad.”

Nayeon listens to these responses, then raises her eyebrows incredulously and cuts in with, “um, maybe people believed it because there’s actual video footage of you two sucking face in a casino hallway—or are we just leaving that to the side?”

“Hey,” Momo perks, mind temporarily distracted by a sudden consideration, “why do the fanboys not care about me being with her when they reacted so horribly to the BamBam thing?”

“Well, you’re a girl,” Jihyo replies lowly.

“Yeah, I think that’s it,” Nayeon agrees assuredly. “In terms of their fantasies, you’re fulfilling them rather than threatening them.”

Tiredly, Momo decides to digest that information later, and grumbles, “can we all just go to sleep and deal with everything tomorrow?”

“No.” Nayeon states somberly. “We have to do one more thing.”

That one more thing turns out to be a subsequent meeting with all 9 members, who hold hands with warm, tangible affection as they encircle the small living room table.

Jihyo speaks up first, voice tender and compassionate as she addresses Mina and Momo, and then every other member. “Even if this affects the band, we know this will affect you two most of all. But we are all here to support you. So… count on us for anything you need. Turn to us if things get difficult, okay? We’ll take care of you two.”

“ _And_ ,” Nayeon adds with some finality, after pursing her lips, “don’t kill or hurt each other. Even when you really do start acting like a married couple and get on each other’s nerves.”

“Promise?” Sana prompts, and Momo turns to Mina beside her, to wordlessly come to an understanding with her, first. Then, she shifts her attention back to every other girl and hears Mina’s voice emerge in sync with her own.

“Promise.”

-

The following morning, when their shared alarm blares its wakening call, Momo is yanked from sleep by the sound of Mina releasing a surprised yelp and then hitting her head back against the wall—which in turn startles Momo so severely that she falls off the bed and lands on the cold, unwelcoming floor with a loud thud.

She sits up dazedly, massaging her aching knee, and then through the dim lighting of the early morning, catches sight of Mina wincing and massaging her own head.

“I’m so sorry, Momo—I’m not used to waking up and seeing someone in bed with me, so I was a little shocked,” Mina mumbles apologetically, sliding closer to the edge of the bed. “Did I make you fall off the bed?”

“It’s fine,” Momo replies with a shrug, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “I’m used to seeing Jeongyeon so you were a surprise, too.” Despite her momentary discomfort, she smiles when she meets Mina’s embarrassed gaze. 

“We’re already getting injured on our first day; our marriage is off to a great start,” Mina chuckles, blushing visibly even through the insufficient lighting.

“Yeah, our future as a couple looks really promising,” Momo jokes along, accepting Mina’s extended hand to help her back onto the bed.

Momo pulls a blanket over their bodies as they remain seated on the bed in companionable silence, relishing the few minutes of quiet they all have before the day truly commences; a time during which most girls text their parents and friends, anticipating that in busy days, they might not have another opportunity to do so. Momo delays checking her own phone, listening to low shuffling sounds from outside their room—the first signs of activity from the other girls, each at the start of their morning rituals. The demand of their schedules has meant that 90% of their work days begin before the crack of dawn, but no matter how long she’s been waking up this early, Momo has never grown used to it. And in fact, neither has Mina; there’s a running joke between the members that, left to her own devices, Mina would never wake up when the hour is a single digit. 

She turns to the girl, who appears to be texting her brother, and decides to reach for her own phone. Immediately upon reading her first few messages from her sister, Momo bursts into laughter.

Mina peers at her curiously, and Momo instinctively leans closer to her, pointing to her phone screen, which is currently playing a YouTube video titled ‘MiMo Stage Winks Compilation.’

She laughs even harder when Mina’s expression turns decidedly horrified. “Is this video really 14 minutes long?” Half a minute passes of Momo stifling laughter before an appalled Mina adds, “there’s a playlist with 54 ‘MiMo’ videos!”

Momo attempts to explain, still containing laughter, “so my sister stayed up looking up all this stuff about us—she said the Asian internet had a meltdown yesterday after our news really blew up. Look at this,” she says, bringing up an article titled, ‘The 27 Best Twitter Reactions to the MiMo Wedding.’ 

Mina immediately gasps upon seeing the first three tweets, and Momo almost doubles over in laughter again when the girl reads off, thoroughly mortified, “from @kpopggfanatic_98, ‘ _someone please give Hirai Momo a high five, or several, at the next fan meet. Girl just managed to marry TWICE’s unofficial back-up visual_ ,’ oh my God, Momo...”

Momo can barely catch her breath; her laughter is uncontrollable. “He called you—haha—TWICE’s—haha—back-up visual—hahaha,” and then laughs even harder when Mina punches her lightly on the arm.

By accident, Momo taps on another related link, which takes them to yet another article about them, this one titled, ‘All the Signs We Missed That Pointed to MiMo’s Relationship’ and Momo’s sides now truly begin to hurt with continued laughter when she catches sight of Mina’s grimace as she notes sullenly, “oh, it’s just gifs of us looking at each other. And smiling. And touching. How many times is our pepero kiss going to show up on these things? Oh God, our Las Vegas video is next—let’s shut this off—”

It takes Momo a full additional minute to at last contain her laughter, which is a truly difficult feat given how many times Mina rolls her eyes at her and, at one time, even throws her pillow at Momo’s head. 

They hear a rap against the door, and a voice that sounds like Nayeon’s—raspier in the mornings, as usual—calls out, “why are you two having fun and not being miserable? It’s 5am!”

Mina joins Momo in snickering at Nayeon’s grumpy admonishment, then asks lightly, “what order are you for the showers today?”

“Third,” Momo responds, grinning still with the lingering good humor. “You?”

“Fifth.”

“Want to go back to sleep and I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn?” Momo offers easily, raising herself from the bed to watch Mina being dwarfed by the mountain of blankets enveloping her. 

“No, I’ll get up right now. That almost-concussion really woke me up,” she comments with a small, joking smile.

“You know what woke me up?” Momo poses, wanting so badly to laugh again; “finding out that I’m going to get high-fives at our next fan meet for marrying TWICE’s back-up visual.”

Momo narrowly dodges another pillow thrown her way, and trades a light-hearted grin with Mina. Then, they leave the room, and begin their day.

-

Nothing changes.

-

JYP himself conducts a curt press conference to confirm the marriage and to request some degree of privacy for the two girls, and makes clear that indecent or otherwise suggestive or salacious headlines and articles will not be tolerated, and will be grounds for legal action. And once it becomes clear to the media that no more Momo/Mina-centric interviews will be granted, TWICE’s routine settles back into a reassuring normality, for the most part.

TWICE has a week-long break from promotional appearances in order to fine-tune their performances for _Heart Shaker_ and _Merry and Happy_ ’s launch the next month and to record their vocals for _Candy Pop_ , and so their mornings consist of vocal training, while their afternoons and evenings are occupied almost entirely by choreography practices. In their scarce free time, the members branch off into a variety of de-stressing activities; Momo, Sana, and Nayeon anonymously join an online Japanese calligraphy club, Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon begin to work on a daunting 5,000-piece puzzle of Seoul’s nighttime skyline, and Jihyo, Mina, Tzuyu, and Dahyun begin to binge-watch a wildly-popular Korean drama. 

There are occasional jokes about their marriage from the rest of TWICE, of course, because after all, their intense, steadfast love for one other sometimes translates into endless torment. 

Such is the case one day, when Momo arrives at the dorm late from a gym session, and, overhearing a particularly lively conversation in the kitchen, stops and conceals herself behind a corner of the wall, listening to her (awful, awful) bandmates mercilessly taunting an adorably-flustered Mina.

“Just tell her, 'Momo, now that we are _spouses_ —'” Jeongyeon begins mischievously, immediately immersed by a round of hearty laughter from the other members.

“I am definitely not saying that,” a scowling Mina interjects, cheeks tinted by a graceful blush, moving on to narrowing her eyes dangerously when Nayeon actually doubles over in laughter, having to be supported by an equally-entertained Sana.

“Just tell her,” a chortling Jeongyeon continues, undeterred and now almost unable to finish her sentences while gasping for air, “‘Momo, my beloved, you must do what I tell you, so I ask that you not take crumbly snacks into our room, my honey bunch—'”

Mina is grimacing with such profound annoyance that Momo grins, covering her mouth to contain a laugh bubbling inside her. 

“Yeah, there is no way I’m calling her that.”

The other girls seem to take that as an invitation to submit their own ideas; Sana yells out, “how about you call her sweetie?” while Dahyun throws in, breathless with laughter, “call her bae!” and Nayeon gives Mina an impish wink and suggests, “call her daddy.”

Tzuyu sympathetically throws an arm around Mina’s shoulder, laughing too but offering the dismayed girl some measure of support.

Momo chooses that moment to join her bandmates in the kitchen, smiling when a relieved Mina immediately turns to her and calmly states, “just so you know, I’m going to keep calling you Momo even though we’re married.”

It’s hard to keep herself from laughing when Mina is being nudged in the ribs by a sly Nayeon and Dahyun can’t keep a straight face and Jihyo is making a half-hearted attempt to control Sana’s snickering, but Momo does her best. “And I’ll keep calling you Mina.” Sort of. “Although ‘honey bunch’ doesn’t sound too bad.”

Mina rolls her eyes with an ill-hidden smile and swats her arm, as another round of deafening laughter bursts inside their kitchen, and Momo affectionately pulls Mina into a hug and laughs, too.

The fact that such a monumental event happened to them and yet they’ve managed to maintain things mostly the same, is what eventually calms Momo after the whirlwind of the previous week. When all 9 girls gather in their last free afternoon to laugh at Nayeon’s hideous, haphazard “art-gallery-worthy and all you haters can choke” calligraphy exhibit in the living room, Momo meets Mina’s eye across the messy space and exchanges a warm smile, silently agreeing that things could have been so much worse—group dynamics could have shifted, their careers could have been derailed, and everything could have turned out differently—but here they are. They’re okay, and everything is the same.

-

Still, nothing changes.

-

The company’s legal advisors had instructed Momo and Mina to focus on their routine duties in TWICE’s scheduled events and to maintain a “business as usual” demeanor as much they possibly can, trusting that JYPE’s media consultants will step in whenever an incident warrants their intervention.

Momo is definitely not anticipating the first time the media consultants _do_ step in.

It happens that weekend, when tabloid paparazzi manage to snap a shot of a tearful Mina in a one-armed embrace from Nayeon, as they exit a convenience shop from which they have purchased some snacks.

When the two arrive at the dorm, Momo, Dahyun, and Jeongyeon are halfway through a run-through of _Heart Shaker_ ’s choreography; Momo notices Mina’s unusually flushed cheeks, and sends a questioning look to Nayeon, who explains humoredly, “so Mina and I bumped into a Once at the market, this little girl who stopped us to tell Mina that she inspired her to take up ballet so she can be graceful like her, and can you believe this loser got emotional?”

“Awwww,” Sana lets out fondly, wrapping an arm around Mina’s waist—while Mina appears thoroughly embarrassed and quite ready to change the subject.

“Meanwhile, all Momo is inspiring people to do is eat more pig feet,” Dahyun cracks, snickering when Momo scowls and Jeongyeon high-fives her quick quip.

That afternoon, TWICE releases two V-Live streams dedicated to introducing their new plant, a Christmas-styled bonsai tree that Sana had bought from a Japanese-specialty shop in Seoul. As it happens, the segment was originally supposed to be filmed as a single take with all 9 members, but ends up being split into 2 videos when Momo, Jeongyeon, Dahyun, and Jihyo are late to return from choreography practice, and Sana begins the stream with the members who are already in the dorm—among these, Mina.

Sana, Nayeon, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Mina all participate in the first stream, polling live-watchers on potential names for their tiny plant. When Momo arrives with the other latecomers, the four girls begin a stream of their own, shorter than the first one. 

Nothing appears to be out of the ordinary, and afterwards all 9 girls gather for an early dinner in expectation of their earlier-than-usual reporting time to the voice studio tomorrow.

And then the next day comes.

Momo and Mina are woken by simultaneous text messages with strict instructions to report to JYPE Headquarters; they’ve barely parked at JYPE premises, when they are then summoned to the media relations office, and are informed that Mina’s near-tears paparazzi shots, along with their separate appearances the day before in TWICE’s V-Live stream, have in conjunction sparked speculation that the pressures of public scrutiny have led to a possible separation. 

The enormous television screen hanging from the office wall quickly parses through message walls and social media postings and gossip magazine headlines, all proclaiming in different ways that Momo and Mina are nearing a divorce. “‘TWICE’S MINA AND MOMO: TROUBLE IN PARADISE?’ What the hell…” Momo reads off with alarm.

“In fact,” one of the media specialists reveals, pursing his lips, “we observed that #MiMosplit was trending worldwide.”

A slack-jawed Momo turns to an appalled Mina, genuinely surprised that something so small could have snowballed into something of such an alarming scope.

“So are we supposed to do everything together now?” Momo queries, noticing Mina’s immediate nod—the girl had been wondering the same thing. It’s not that Momo is necessarily against the idea, but… TWICE members have always tried to rotate which girls are sorted to do activities together, so this would be a change.

“Not everything, of course,” another media consultant responds, with an understanding smile that softens her otherwise businesslike tone. “We will be advising you of when it’ll be appropriate to make separate appearances, and when you must present a unified front.”

Mina raises a questioning eyebrow but remains silent, and Momo decides that, perhaps out of exhaustion or because she’s so resigned to their circumstance, she won’t raise any objections either.

“There is, however,” the second consultant posits, tone shifting from placating to somber, “one thing we need you both to do.”

-

“You know, I’m going to be honest here,” Momo grunts, pulling a sweater over her head, “if I were going to an actual romantic dinner with someone, I wouldn’t go to this restaurant they picked.”

Mina mumbles a grumpy assent, fastening her shoelaces. “I looked it up on Google,” (Momo smirks to herself, because of course Mina researched the place) “and it has an open layout and the walls are made up of glass so I think that’s why they chose it; because the paparazzi will be able to get really good pictures of us.” The girl stands from the bed and seems to examine Momo’s clothes with curiosity. “Are we supposed to be matching?”

JYPE’s public relations staff instructed them to wear clothing that could appear as casual as possible tonight—to effectively sell that the paparazzi pictures were taken candidly, and not as part of some pre-planned, strategic arrangement to rein back rumors of their separation—and now as Momo notices their attire, she realizes they’ve picked practically the same outfit: dark, oversized sweaters and jeans.

The girls have always had their own jokes with their styling as a group for their performances, of course—that Jihyo’s boobs are almost like a whole different person and require their own wardrobe adjustments; that the stylists must have a bet going on to see how little they can cover of Momo’s body while still maintaining TWICE’s wholesome, family-friendly vibe; that if Mina and Dahyun could style themselves, they would both always wear huge, shapeless sacks. Their personal styles, however, do tend to be similar. But despite the fact that the clothes themselves are terribly similar, Momo notices how distinctly they appear solely because of the person donning them; Mina’s soft, elegant features lend a much more sophisticated personality to her outfit, whereas Momo’s edgier leanings are emphasized by the ripped jeans.

“We look fine, I think. Well, let’s do this, then,” Momo shrugs, and after bidding their band members goodbye (while having to listen to calls of “you better bring some food back!” and “don’t worry; I’m going to start trending #MiMoStrong while you’re gone!”), they’re off.

As a group, TWICE has been fodder for public consumption for so long that Momo—and Mina, she presumes—has become quite accustomed to dealing with fan recordings and paparazzi photos whenever they’ve stepped foot out into the world. But this is different—this is _knowing_ the paparazzi have been purposely tipped to their presence in this restaurant, and _pretending_ to be unaware, while making a truly unnatural effort to present a narrative that they most definitely did not come up with.

The food is delectable enough that Momo isn’t too focused on their odd situation, but Mina is clearly struggling with their assignment, so Momo pauses her eating.

“Everything okay? Do you want to order something else?”

The disheartened girl sighs and shakes her head, idly dragging her vegetables about her plate. “I’m not even hungry. Knowing that people are taking pictures of us and that they’re going to be all over the internet and magazines in less than a day really killed my appetite.”

“Then you haven’t tried this heavenly pork dish,” Momo tries to joke, still worried despite Mina’s ensuing chuckle. “We can leave early if you want, and go back to the dorm.”

“No, I think if we leave early, that’s going to be the headline,” she responds forlornly. This Mina, the uncertain, hesitant girl whose eyes seem to be searching for a table under which she can hide—this is the version of Mina that kind of breaks Momo’s heart a little, because this is not how she is when she’s commanding a stage during a performance, or how she is when they’re at the dorm and she’s quietly self-assured, intelligent and thoughtful. “Are we supposed to act like a couple here?”

“I hope not. I wouldn’t know how to do it,” Momo admits with a shrug. Before she can think through her words, they’re already out; “you’re the only one of us who’s dated someone.”

Mina stills with discomfort, and Momo wants to poke her own eyes out with her fork—how the hell did that slip out?

After clearing her throat discreetly, Mina states evenly, “it didn’t last very long and didn’t end well, either, so I’m not sure you can count me.”

Momo is so mortified that even her body temperature seems to have increased threefold. “I’m sorry, Mina; I didn’t mean to bring him up.”

“It’s fine,” Mina assures, but Momo’s embarrassment injects her bloodstream with a fresh rush of agitation, and now she’s impatient to fix this somehow. 

“The media people said the paparazzi would only be with us for an hour. Do you want to go get some dessert after this?” Momo offers quickly and with some anxiety she hopes Mina isn’t noticing.

She wants to jump out of her seat with elation and relief when Mina instantly brightens. “Actually, there’s an arcade not too far from here. Can we go there?”

-

It’s a useless endeavor, trying to shoot a videogame rifle while having to simultaneously control a pedal to ensure her character is able to effectively dodge incoming bullets from laser-projecting aliens—Momo has already died six times in this game Mina chose, and she doesn’t even appear to be getting any better.

“You know, for someone with such high level of dance skill, I expected you to have better hand-eye coordination,” Mina quips, giving her a quick hug from behind when Momo throws her a dirty look.

“You’re a nerd and I’m a normal, cool person,” Momo retorts with some mild annoyance, because she’s a competitive person and this is why she never plays videogames—because she likes her dignity and losing like this after Mina has broken practically every high-score record in this empty, homely arcade is exceedingly embarrassing. However, watching Mina’s demeanor morph from the palpable discomfort she witnessed in the restaurant to her current easy confidence is worth the embarrassment. 

“It’s your grip that’s wrong, I think; the reason your aim is so terrible,” Mina suggests, moving closer to Momo and adjusting Momo’s hand around the plastic weapon. “Try it like this.”

“Wait, let me see you do it,” Momo counters instead, handing the rifle over to Mina and then widening her eyes when Mina proceeds to shoot dead about a hundred aliens.

“You know, it’s kind of scary how good you are at shooting monsters and aliens and zombies,” an impressed Momo discloses after a low whistle. “If we actually end up having a zombie apocalypse like everyone is saying, I’m lucky I’m married to you.”

At this, Mina appears to have just completed the current level in the game, and while the screen is displaying her (shockingly incredible) stats, the girl turns to her with an upbeat grin, coolly blowing off some imaginary smoke from her plastic firearm. “Yes, you are, Mrs. Myoui.”

Momo makes an attempt to sound indignant once again at the name change, remarking, “I really need to remember how I was okay taking your last name—Hirai is much cooler than Myoui.”

“The drunk version of you wasn’t in denial that Myoui is better; you shouldn’t be, either,” Mina debates teasingly, and her beam is bright and lively, and it pulls Momo by some place inside her chest closer to Mina and into an appreciative hug, similar to the ones they have shared over the years as their friendship grew the deep roots it has today.

-

“Wow, you guys’ date looks so convincing,” Sana comments with surprise the next morning, browsing through their laptop as half of the band is showering or at the make-up and hair stations, and half—among which are Momo and Mina—is sleepily gathered around the kitchen island, sharing a light breakfast. 

“It does? It was really uncomfortable, actually,” Mina contends in a low voice, taking a sip of tea while Momo scarfs down a banana muffin.

Nayeon peers at the laptop from behind Sana, clutching her own mug of tea and nodding approvingly. “No, all the pictures look very natural. You guys did great.” Momo’s mouth is stuffed with an unexpectedly large bite of her muffin, but she tries to smile at Mina nonetheless, happy at their success despite everything. “The one where you’re showing Momo how to shoot that bazooka-looking gun is really cute—the shippers are going to go wild.”

Momo immediately stops chewing.

“What? The arcade?” Mina queries, voice dropping with apparent dread. “We went to a dim sum restaurant. There are pictures of us at the arcade? The paparazzi followed us?”

Sana and Nayeon watch them with equal amounts of confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“The paparazzi people were only supposed to be with us for an hour, at the restaurant,” Momo chimes in to explain after hastily swallowing her food. “We went to the arcade after that; they didn’t know about it. We thought they were gone.”

“Oh…” Nayeon murmurs with understanding. “So the arcade thing was… your own thing.”

There’s a tinge of curiosity in the look Nayeon is throwing Momo’s way, but Momo is too distracted to dissect it; it’s Mina’s turn to shower and Momo is due at the make-up chair. 

“Do you think JYP will be mad we went some place else after the restaurant?” Mina asks as they both leave the kitchen towards their room. 

“Nah; they still got their shots,” Momo assures firmly, shaking her head. “I have to practice that game more so next time we get caught by the paparazzi, the photos aren’t of me dying in the game and not knowing how to hold the gun.”

Mina laughs, they head their separate ways, and the day begins.

-

And still, nothing changes.

-

 _Heart Shaker_ ’s launch opens yet another period of relentless promotional activity for TWICE. The filming for an episode of _Weekly Idol_ kicks that off. It’s the first time Momo and Mina have made a joint media appearance since their marriage, and it’s also the first time Momo hears someone other than a TWICE member refer to Mina as her wife.

Each TWICE member is taking her place in the show’s guest stools, sharing excited grins in anticipation of another fun installment of the series. Unthinkingly, Momo approaches the stool next to Dahyun, sensing Sana following closely behind, and subconsciously she’s aware of the other members’ customary seating preferences; Jihyo, Nayeon, and Jeongyeon are always within a seat of one another, while Chaeyoung and Tzuyu stick as closely as possible to Min—

“Excuse me,” a polite crew member calls Momo’s attention. “The producers would like you and Mina to sit next to one another.”

Immediately, Momo’s eyes snap to Mina’s, finding that she, too, is caught off-guard by this request. They should have expected this, of course—this is how things are going to be from now on—but it’s still odd and a bit awkward. Mina nods and bows apologetically, and then trades her seat with Sana. 

Despite the seating change, Momo forgets many times throughout the duration of the show that the girl next to her is, according to legal documents and the public, her wife. This is why Momo absentmindedly reaches for Mina’s hand when Sana and Chaeyoung are asked to grab unusual objects with their feet and everyone bursts into laughter at their hilariously failed attempts. 

It’s why Momo doesn’t mind when Mina shyly hides her face on her shoulder after being asked to make her best effort at a seductive wink. Momo laughs along with everyone when Mina almost evaporates with shyness following her (terrible, terrible) wink, and she’s close enough to Mina that she can spot the subtle blushing and the way the shade of pink makes some of her moles less visible.

The only instance, in fact, in which Momo is reminded that they’re married is when they’re discussing birthday gifts and the host bluntly questions, “Momo, what is the best gift your wife has ever given you?”

She almost performs a double-take, some corner of her mind asking her in a knee-jerk reaction what wife this man is referring to, while another corner of her mind answers the question for her—Mina, of course. The Mina who is next to her. The Mina with whom Momo has been sharing a blanket for the past 20 minutes.

“Um...” Momo’s Korean is already not stellar. When faced with a question that throws her for a loop, it becomes even worse. “I guess...” Her panicked mind is embroiled in a mad scramble for memories of the knick-knacks and memorabilia Mina has given her over the years, and the effort of trying to pick one, but this mental exercise lasts only a second before her mind is made up, without her having any time to second-guess the answer. “Mina taught me [how to swim](https://twitter.com/illiy009/status/956528070860595200?s=20). We went to Jeju just after our debut, and she was patient and taught me how to swim. I think that’s the best gift she ever gave me.”

There’s a pause, a sort of hesitation that settles in the room, before the hosts cause an eruption of laughter when they ‘ _awww_ ’ in sync and throw them exaggeratedly cute faces, and it’s only then that Momo chances a glance at Mina, only to find her once again nearing death with embarrassment.

“A life-saving skill like that—priceless. Momo, you married a kind-hearted person,” Defconn congratulates, and then everyone bursts into laughter when Momo responds with a disagreeing scoff and is then elbowed by Mina in protest.

The second half of their _Weekly Idol_ episode is comprised of a series of rotating games in which two members draw a card that assigns them a task, and gives them the option of selecting another member for assistance as they compete head-to-head. Sana and Chaeyoung draw a card that assigns them to a blind-taste test of various foods—and Sana is quickest at the trigger and immediately picks Momo as her partner, much to Chaeyoung’s dismay, who resorts to picking Jeongyeon and loses that round. Nayeon and Jeongyeon draw a card for a Korean spelling test (after which Nayeon comments wryly, “I guess Tzuyu, Mina, and Momo are clearly not options for help here”), and pick Dahyun and Jihyo, respectively—Nayeon emerges victorious and is very, very smug about it. Jihyo’s own card has her pitted against Mina in a rapid-fire math test; Jihyo immediately groans with anticipated defeat and picks Chaeyoung, while Mina picks Tzuyu, and easily wins her round.

Then, Momo and Dahyun draw a card that has them competing against one another in a racecar simulation, and instantly both shout “I WANT MINA!” which sparks a round of laughter from all the other girls. Because they both simultaneously selected Mina, the host allows Mina to pick which bandmember she will assist, instructing Momo and Dahyun to use their best persuasion skills to convince her to choose them.

Momo quite frankly doesn’t think there’s even a remote possibility that Mina will pick Dahyun over her, so she’s quite shocked when Mina doesn’t immediately make a selection, letting Dahyun shoot her a cheerful grin and assert, “Mina unnie, pick me—I’ll give you a massage when we get to the dorm.”

Scandalized, Momo alternates staring at Dahyun and staring at Mina in mild disbelief. “Are you really going to choose someone who isn’t me?”

“Stop emotionally blackmailing her, Momo—Mina, I’ll cook for you,” Dahyun pitches cutely, dialing up the charm and now seriously worrying Momo that Mina will actually pick her.

“I _already_ cook for you,” Momo reminds, narrowing her eyes towards Dahyun and then turning to Mina with her most appealing smile, “and I’ll buy you whatever game comes out next that you want.”

“I’ll buy you _two_ games,” Dahyun counters cleverly, shooting Momo a challenging look that once again makes every other TWICE member burst into laughter.

Momo’s jaw drops with incredulity and she watches Mina, grinning brightly and blushing prettily from her stool, meeting Momo’s gaze with the warmth of someone who knows everything about her, someone with whom Momo always shares the same footsteps and heartbeats. “Did I mention I’m your _wife_?”

“Sorry, Dahyun,” Mina laughs shyly and apologetically; “I’m pretty sure it was in my vows or something that I have to pick her.”

Momo wins, of course. Mina never loses a game.

Later, Momo realizes that Mina made a joke about their marriage on a nationally-broadcasted entertainment show—without fainting or having an anxiety attack or trying to hide from everyone’s sight—and it surprises her, in a pleasant way. Maybe they’re getting the hang of this after all.

-

Mina and Momo complete their first session with the choreographer for their customary joint segment at the JYP showcase that will take place in March. Each of them takes a turn studying and absorbing and modeling the choreographer’s steps and sequences, going on to shape them with their own bodies and instincts, starting out with individual versions of the same choreography, each influenced by their vastly different techniques, and, after dozens of practices, eventually meeting in the middle to produce a performance that is very much a hybrid of each of their styles.

As Momo’s eyes follow Mina during her first full run-through of their new choreography, Momo receives a reminder of why Mina is her [fellow lead dancer](https://twitter.com/MlNACHAEYU/status/992390886255362048) in TWICE; how she learns sequences so rapidly, how consistently precise each of her movements is, how she’s so quick to make any choreography, no matter how complex, look effortless. Momo had rarely in her life found anyone able to keep up with her own dancing talent or who possessed the same perfectionism and natural willingness to follow the music wherever it led, but [then she met Mina](http://abitofeverythingstrange.tumblr.com/post/150013779717/momo-chose-a-special-partner-who-helps-her-regain) and her [11-year ballet training](http://abitofeverythingstrange.tumblr.com/post/158709411332), and it’s nice, she thinks with a fond smile, that things worked out this way. 

“Keep practicing when you can, okay?” the choreographer directs them with some visible pride. “I’ll check back with you in a month.”

-

And then things start to change.

-

It’s always the small things that throw Momo off.

TWICE is at Tokyo’s metropolitan airport, Seoul-bound after filming their parts for _Candy Pop_ ’s music video with an animation company in Japan. Due to a security alert, the airline is checking each passenger’s passport, summoning each group of passengers by last name. Every girl is exhausted and fighting sleep, and Momo’s half-closed eyes struggle to follow the airline supervisor’s instructions. The only bright spot seems to be that the airline is offering passengers some snacks as an apology for the inconvenience; there are two baskets on the counter containing bags of cookies or bags of a healthier alternative—vegetable chips, apparently—from which passengers can retrieve their snack after complying with the security procedures.

“Last names beginning with the letter ‘C,’” they hear through the speakers, and Tzuyu and one of the managers stand and approach the counter. Mina is nearly dozing off against Momo’s shoulder and Momo is absentmindedly tapping her fingers against her open palm as it rests on her lap, when she hears the supervisor summon the “G” last names and then automatically stiffens, preparing to gather her own passport to report next, whenever the “H” last names are called out.

Mina turns her hand over and gently envelops Momo’s own hand, holding her in place and pulling Momo’s attention to her tired smile.

“Myoui,” Mina says softly, and Momo blinks in confusion, only slightly distracted by the warmth from Mina’s touch.

“What?”

“Your last name.”

Oh. Of course.

“Right; I forgot,” Momo mumbles, settling back down and turning Mina’s hand over again, to resume her palm-tapping. When Nayeon stands to join the other “I” last name passengers, Momo comments in a low murmur, “you know, you really should have taken my last name.”

Mina’s laugh is faint, as she continues to lean against Momo’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Tzuyu, Nayeon, and now Dahyun all got cookies and now the airline just ran out of them, do you see?” Momo waits a few seconds and then notices Mina chuckling after presumably catching sight of the empty basket that formerly contained cookie bags. “Now all they have for us are vegetable chips. If we were both Hirais, we would have gotten the cookies Nayeon and Dahyun took.”

“I’ll get you a cookie, don’t worry,” an amused Mina assures, now leaning away from Momo and straightening her posture. “Just give me a minute.”

“Where are you getting the cookies from?” Momo inquires curiously, eyes darting about, wondering if there is a snack dispenser in this waiting area that she hasn’t noticed—which would be impossible, obviously; Momo has a certified sixth-sense to detect the presence of food nearby.

Mina shrugs, easy-going and calm, always. “Tzuyu will give me hers if I ask.”

It’s fueled in part from wanting to joke and in part from something that Momo can’t name or identify, the impulsive reply that surfaces from her mind and leaves her mouth without a second thought. “Don’t go flirting with someone else to get that cookie; you’re a married woman, Mina.”

Her assertion only seems to tickle Mina further, who now laughs loudly enough that other members fleetingly turn their attention to them.

“I wouldn’t need to flirt with her,” Mina retorts easily, still grinning at Momo’s half-hearted glower. “So you can’t get jealous, Momo.”

“Me? Jealous? _Never_ ,” Momo states, as firmly as she can while still trying to contain her own desire to laugh.

“So you’re okay if I go get the cookies from Tzuyu?” Mina poses teasingly, her good-humored taunt framed by a smile that’s bright and lovely and seems to blur the edges of Momo’s vision.

“You know what,” Momo responds with a pout, exaggerating her own stubbornness, “I’m actually totally okay with vegetable chips. I hear they’re healthy and delicious.”

Mina’s laugh accompanies her cheerful reaching for Momo’s hand. “Fine, fine. I won’t go flirt with anyone else; all my flirting will go to my wife, and we’ll eat the vegetable chips.”

A satisfied Momo gives her an approving nod, now giving in to her own bubbling laughter, just as the “M” last names finally are called, and they stand and make their way to the check-in counter, following Sana.

The vegetable chips aren’t as terrible as Momo expected, but she still pretends they taste amazing, if only to watch Mina laugh and make fun of her again.

-

Things change, and then they change some more.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me about MiMo on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/UnderneathTree) :)


	3. Heads of different sizes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was greedy with this chapter, and used 2 GIFs for inspiration...come cry with me [here](https://twitter.com/classyminari/status/909016848280174592) and [here](https://twitter.com/minayoens/status/925874613850136576).

No one thinks much of it when Mina takes up knitting; it seems like exactly the sort of thing she would be into. So it’s not quite the knitting itself that puzzles the other members; it’s no one knowing what, exactly, she’s knitting, since it always seems like she’s halfway through something, and yet no one has seen a finished product thus far. 

Momo is the first to see the finished product, and it happens by chance.

Most of the girls are either on video calls with friends and family members that evening, or, as is Momo’s case, watching a Korean drama in the living room, while Mina has been in their bedroom for a little over an hour now. Momo is well aware that she shouldn’t be noticing Mina’s absence—this is the girl who deliberately isolates herself from time to time because she genuinely enjoys being alone—and in times past, it really would’ve escaped her attention. But lately there’s always some part of her mind that constantly counts the time and the distance separating her from Mina, and Momo is certain this is some unintended side-effect of getting used to always being so close to her because of their whole marriage arrangement.

Mid-way through the latest episode, Momo excuses herself to Dahyun and Sana, between whom Momo has been squeezed in their sofa. The two girls are absorbed in the drama’s plot and Momo expects them to barely register a reaction when Momo leaves, but Sana calls out, “tell Mina we’re almost at the episode she left off!” and Momo almost wonders how the girl knew where she was headed.

She walks into their room and catches Mina stocking away a small pile of what looks to Momo like tiny scarves inside her personal closet. Quickly and deftly, she leaps between Mina and the closet, blindly grabbing one of the scarves and also a medium-sized red clutch-like holder, stamped prominently with the words 'SAVE THE CHILDREN - CAPS FOR GOOD.'

“Ah-ha!” Momo exclaims victoriously, surprising Mina. “You’re [knitting tiny hats](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bdkq8FgA9OT/?taken-by=twicetagram)! For...” Momo trails off, excited rush immediately evaporating when she takes a second to actually study the objects in her hand. There’s a small paper poking out from under one of the caps, and when Momo pulls it out, her eyes parse over a picture of an impoverished-looking woman cradling an infant. _‘Save the Children would like to thank you for your commitment in our efforts to reduce newborn deaths in the developing world.’_ Oh. “You’re… knitting for charity?” Momo breathes out, so taken aback by her findings that it takes her a couple of additional seconds to finally raise her gaze to Mina’s, who’s biting a corner of her lip nervously. 

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you?”

Momo is still in some state of disbelief, turning to look at the pile Mina has half-hidden inside her closet, counting about a dozen of these little caps. “Why didn’t you tell any of us?”

Mina shifts on her feet, obviously embarrassed. “I’m bad at it, Momo. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to send the ones I’ve done. I’m not consistent and all the beanies are different sizes...”

The sight of Mina’s blush makes something twist tightly inside Momo’s chest, and she blurts out weakly, “I’m sure that’s fine—babies have heads of different sizes, right...?” She winces at the lameness of her own words, and makes a terrible attempt to fix it; “I mean, you’re really smart so when you were born your head was probably bigger than the other babies’ and—”

She’s mercifully interrupted when Mina bursts into laughter and grabs her fidgeting hands, wordlessly asking her to stop talking, and Momo promptly shuts up.

“That was awful, but thank you anyway,” Mina beams appreciatively.

“How do you even do these?” Momo asks then, inspecting one of the caps with fascination. “Is it hard?”

“Well, I wish I was better at it,” Mina murmurs reflectively, not really answering Momo’s question.

“Can you show me how to do one?” a wide-eyed Momo requests, sitting on the bed and watching Mina attentively.

Mina performs a literal double-take then, querying with a frown, “really? You want me to show you knitting? You’ll die of boredom.”

“No, I won’t. And you’ve already been hiding this huge secret from me,” Momo retorts, with her best wounded pout; “and I really thought married people weren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other.”

Mina looks torn between laughing and rolling her eyes, but Momo knows she’s won this round when she sighs and retrieves her knitting supplies from the red clutch, proceeding to sit on the bed to face Momo and demonstrate the technique and patterns and the styles, and Momo loses track of time watching her movements and listening to Mina’s voice carrying her from one stitch to the other and then to another, and then she’s startled when the whole thing starts coming together and she realizes that Mina created, right in front of her eyes and from a single strand of string, something with a shape and function.

“I want to learn that,” Momo states immediately after Mina finishes. Before Mina can try to talk her out of it—as she will, of course—Momo insists, “I want to help you with this charity thing.”

“If you lose patience and don’t complete a cap, it’s okay,” Mina reassures, mind always anticipating something in the far future. 

“I thought you were knitting your gift for our _Merry and Happy_ Secret Santa,” Momo muses, still observing Mina, now with some unhidden admiration. “I didn’t guess it was for a good cause.” Jokingly, Momo adds, “if you’re my secret Santa, you can give me something you’ve knitted—I’d like it.”

Mina shrugs with a coy smile, intent on not giving away the recipient of her gift. Momo, ever the procrastinator, just barely bought her gift to Chaeyoung today even though filming for _Merry and Happy_ is in two days and practically every minute of tomorrow has been booked with some event. As she thinks about this further, she wonders who Mina’s own Secret Santa is, and hopes that whoever she is, that she got Mina something amazing.

-

The music video for TWICE’s _Merry and Happy_ ends up being divided into 3 filming locations with different time segments; Momo and Mina are placed into different filming groups but somehow still find their way to each other during one of the common breaks, when Sana and Chaeyoung are pursuing Momo through the sets, pelting one another with Christmas decorations, and Momo ends up dashing into the room inside which Mina is comfortably sitting on a couch, watching something on a cellphone with Tzuyu, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo. 

It’s surprising to her how immediate her reaction is when her eyes lock with Mina’s and the girl gives her a bright, easy smile, with something like a question tucked into the upward curve of her lips ( _why are you running?_ probably, or, _do you want to watch some videos with us?_ ). Momo halts at the doorway, momentarily frozen by the sight of Mina’s sunlit smile and by the questions that she really, really wants to answer ( _I don’t remember why I’m running_ , and _I would love to watch videos with you_ ). What wakes her from her temporary stupor are two Christmas ornaments hitting her squarely on the arm—Sana has excellent aim and Chaeyoung’s throwing arm has all the strength of a baseball pitcher, and those are underappreciated facts—which makes Momo turn her attention from the living room set back to the hallway inside which her two attackers continue to gleefully conspire against her. Momo surrenders quickly enough, faced with being outnumbered and outgunned, and that’s when she plops down next to an expectant Mina and asks her own question.

“So, Mitang, are we knitting today or not?”

And of all the scenes that the editing manager selects to comprise TWICE’s _Merry and Happy_ behind-the-scenes video, there is one that genuinely surprises Momo. She’s expecting the video to show the girls prepping for each scene, and explaining _Merry and Happy_ ’s plot. She’s expecting it to show their Secret Santa exchange, and each girl’s individual commentary on the gifts they’ve purchased.

She’s definitely not expecting it to show Mina knitting, or, even worse— _[Momo](https://twitter.com/myouiwaddles/status/944227317940862982)_[ knitting](https://twitter.com/myouiwaddles/status/944227317940862982). Momo can’t think of why anyone would find that interesting, and why the editing manager would want to include that. But she watches the scene and glances quickly at Mina and remembers finishing her first (and really, really ugly) baby cap that afternoon, and finds that she enjoys immensely the sense of accomplishment.

-

For Sana’s birthday, they’re all gathered in their kitchen and Momo has the idea of giving Sana one of her hideous knitted scarves as a gift. She drolly tells Sana to thank Mina for teaching her yet another priceless skill, and just as a revolted Sana is throwing the misshapen scarf at Momo’s face and every other girl is laughing at them chasing each other, Momo runs and hides behind Mina, bending down and grabbing her by the waist while Mina laughs and does her best to shield Momo from Sana. And then everyone is throwing handfuls of Sana’s birthday cake at each other, and the kitchen is filled with the sounds of shrill yelps and roaring laughs, and Mina smears a slice on Momo’s cheek as they laugh and Momo tosses a strawberry and misses her and it hits Jihyo’s hair instead—who then throws a blob of frosting at Momo, which hits her with a loud _splat_ against her stomach—and Momo’s sides start to ache from laughing so much. The kitchen is an absolutely apocalyptic sight afterwards, with frosting, crumbs of cake and pieces of fruit splattered everywhere, and an effervescent Momo wraps an arm around frosting-covered Mina and laughs. It’s the most fun Momo has had in a very long time.

-

A week after their New Year’s Eve performance at Kohaku Uta Gassen, TWICE attends a game show in Japan as part of their promotional duties for _Candy Pop_. They partake in some truly odd activities—Nayeon, Dahyun, and Tzuyu are made to sculpt carrots into recognizable shapes with their teeth, Sana and Jeongyeon face off in identifying animals by their sounds, and Chaeyoung and Mina have their hands tied and are given the arduous task of feeding pasta to one another with one chopstick each—and then it’s Momo’s turn and she and Jihyo find out that they are going to wear a helmet that will isolate them from sights, smells, and sounds, and will be allowed to touch a single body part from one of their fellow bandmates, having then to guess their identity. 

A self-assured Momo presumes this will be a much easier exercise than what every other girl has had to complete, but then she realizes that the body parts are not the ones that would actually help someone identify another person. Thus, Jihyo goes first and it’s a disaster—she touches Dahyun’s earlobe and guesses that she’s touching Mina’s, she touches Chaeyoung’s ankle and guesses she’s touching Nayeon’s, and when she touches Tzuyu’s chin and guesses it’s Jeongyeon’s, Momo purses her lips with worry. This will be tougher than she expected.

When it’s her turn, Momo makes an attempt to adjust quickly to the soundless darkness, then hears from the headphones that the first member is approaching her, and that she will be touching her shoulder. 

When Momo reaches out to make contact, it truly sinks in that there’s no way to identify anyone through this method—this shoulder could be anyone’s; they all have similar builds and aside from Tzuyu, everyone is pretty much the same height. She ventures a half-baked guess (“is this Dahyun?”) and isn’t any more assured when she touches someone else’s elbow and throws another guess (“um… Nayeon…?”). 

Then, she’s instructed to reach out again, and touch someone’s neck. And at first brush of her fingers, Momo _knows_. She can’t say why, or how, but she knows who this is. It could be the temperature of her body, or the fact that they’ve been sleeping on the same bed for two months and now Momo knows the shape of her limbs, the smooth surface of her skin, the soft weight of her when she rolls over and presses against Momo—it’s undeniable, and Momo is _sure_. She would know this girl anywhere.

“This is Mina,” Momo announces immediately, clear and definitive, without needing anything more than a second to reach this determination. Her turn is over and she immediately removes the helmet, bursting into a grin when it is indeed Mina who’s standing in front of her, smiling too but with a tiny frown that she’s well-aware only she can see. Every other girl is cheering her victory and the hosts are congratulating her—she got one right, while Jihyo missed all of hers—and Momo is delighted and even a little smug, because this was a difficult game and she truly loves winning. The best part is receiving an actual prize; a personalized chocolate bar from the show, which she readily shares with everyone, including Mina.

That one moment, in which Momo so assuredly identifies Mina and then pulls off her helmet to find out with delight that she’s right, it goes viral—it’s gif’ed thousands of times and replayed in numerous social media platforms, and of course Momo finds it amusing, but sometimes she wonders why Mina was frowning, and she means to ask Mina about it, but then their packed schedules make it so she never gets around to it.

-

It’s mid-morning in late January, and Momo tiredly makes her way to the dorm’s largest room, intending on inviting Nayeon to a trip to the market with her, Jeongyeon, and Jihyo. TWICE had a brutally-long day yesterday between rehearsals, a showcase performance, and a fan-sign, so after this morning’s vocal training, most girls—Mina included—are enjoying their 3-hour downtime by catching up on sleep, before they have to begin getting ready to film a commercial advertisement later in the afternoon. And yes, Momo is tempted to crawl back into bed as well, but she’s had bouts of anxiety watching their pantry starting to run low on food, so she’s prioritizing hunger over sleep today.

Through the dim lighting, Momo notices a lump of blankets on Nayeon’s bed but can’t tell if Nayeon is asleep or simply lying down and resting, so she approaches the bed surreptitiously, careful not to make too much noise.

“Mina, is that you?” Momo hears Nayeon grumble from underneath her sleep mask, so she abandons all pretense to be quiet and instead jumps on Nayeon’s bed and laughs at the girl’s inconvenienced yelp. “Okay, so not Mina, since she would never be this rude,” Nayeon deduces with an eye roll after removing her mask and recognizing Momo’s rascally grin. “Of course it had to be you.”

“Why did you think it was Mina?” Momo asks curiously, helping Nayeon sit up from beneath her covers. 

Nayeon shrugs; comments distractedly, “you smell just like her perfume now,” and then yawns. “Is there a reason you _so politely_ disrupted my period of rest or are you being annoying just for fun now?”

Momo throws a corner of the blanket in Nayeon’s direction as payback for the implied insult, then reveals, “Jihyo, Jeong, and I are going to buy some food at the quick-mart. Want to come with?”

“I thought we had all collectively agreed to nap after we were up for 20 hours yesterday,” Nayeon reminds grumpily, nonetheless standing from the bed and stretching lazily. “But fine; I’ve been craving some rice crisps.”

Momo smiles in satisfaction and is about to turn to the doorway, when the girl adds, fastening a coat around herself, “is Mina coming with us?”

“I haven’t tried to wake her up; I don’t think she’ll want to go,” Momo replies with a shrug of her own, remembering then that Mina had mentioned that she wanted to re-stock her own snack pile. “I’ll try, though—maybe she’ll want something.” Without waiting to hear a response from Nayeon, Momo walks by the kitchen and informs the others of Nayeon’s decision, then makes a turn towards her own room.

Momo pauses by the room’s doorway, allowing her eyes a brief moment to sweep the sight in front of her; Mina—small, and vulnerable, perfectly still, breathing low and even. Momo takes light, careful steps to approach her, then meticulously calculates her movements so she can lean over the bed, supporting herself on one knee and one arm at the corner of the mattress, in order to whisper, “Mitang, are you awake?” She hears a low hum from Mina and amends, only a bit louder, “I’m going grocery shopping with the girls. Do you want anything? We’re like, down to our last noodle pack.”

To her surprise, a sleepy Mina reaches up to slowly grab her by the front pocket of her sweatshirt. “Okay,” she mumbles without quite opening her eyes, voice soft in an odd way, like it’s far away, but right here, for Momo to hear, and Momo leans closer to her instinctively. “I’ll scoot back.” 

The girl then proceeds to drowsily move her body back towards the wall, in a movement that’s so minute that it scarcely provides anything more than a half inch of additional space to Momo, had she actually been wanting to lay down. 

Momo purses her lips to keep herself from laughing at the misunderstanding and Mina’s well-intentioned, ineffective action, noticing then with further amusement that Mina has promptly fallen back asleep. This is all the response she needs to take back to the other girls awaiting her, but it’s the other things she notices in the ensuing moments that hold her in place.

She notices that Mina’s hand is still hanging from her sweater pocket. She notices the wedding ring around Mina’s finger—(“oh you found them? Oh my God, Momo; they’re horrendous. I hope the chapel gave them to us for free”)—because they were instructed to wear them for their showcase appearance yesterday and Mina must have forgotten to take it off. She notices that she’s close enough to her that she can see Mina’s pink-tinged cheeks and a tiny birthmark on her jaw that she doesn’t think she had ever spotted before. She notices that Mina’s hand is a bit cold, since she’s removed it from under the blankets to clutch Momo’s sweater instead, and Momo immediately envelops it inside her own, hoping to restore its warmth. She notices that she’s sort of started to time her own breaths to keep pace with Mina’s, and then notices a strange weight settling firmly in the space between her chest and her throat, a weight that twists and quivers as it spreads inside her the longer she keeps looking at Mina and the longer her gaze keeps sinking into the angles and curves of her face, and all of this has Momo frowning with unfamiliarity. 

Something pulls her attention to the doorway, and she catches sight of Nayeon, who’s watching the scene and, upon meeting Momo’s eyes, mouths _‘are you still coming?’_

Very, very few things in the world seem worse at this moment than removing Mina’s hand from inside hers, so instantly, Momo shakes her head apologetically. Thankfully, Nayeon doesn’t seem to mind; the girl nods easily and closes the door behind her. Momo keeps Mina’s hand inside hers, then lays down and shifts on the mattress until she’s comfortable, facing Mina until her own drowsiness overcomes her and she’s submerged in sleep as well.

-

It makes some sense that one of Momo’s last thoughts before falling asleep was how it can be possible that she’s known Mina this long and yet had never noticed the tiny birthmark on her jaw, and that it’s this bothersome realization that causes her to go on to have an actual dream wherein all she does, for the entirety of the dream, is count Mina’s moles.

Two hours after dozing off with Mina, it’s early afternoon and the sound of their alarm pierces through the silence of their room to jerk Momo from sleep. When she snaps her eyes open, she notes that she and Mina are still facing each other and the girl is not quite awake yet—there’s always a several-seconds-long delay between Momo’s and Mina’s reactions to the alarm—so she uses this short window of opportunity to do what she couldn’t in her dream; to actually and definitively count Mina’s moles (and end her inner curiosity after all), or at least the moles on the half of her face that isn’t concealed by their pillow.

She’s thoroughly immersed in this exercise, squinting with focus and tilting her head to visually trace each mark—two on her forehead, one on her nose, two by her lips, one on her chin, is that two on her cheek or is the second one a shadow?—when Mina startles her by smiling faintly, eyes still half-closed, and inquiring in sleep-faded voice, “were you counting my moles?” 

Momo’s eyes shift to Mina’s immediately, some measure of embarrassment being outweighed by impulsivity when she questions, “how many are there?”

“I’m not sure,” Mina chuckles softly. 

This is scandalous to Momo, and she can’t hide her shock—which prompts Mina to laugh with amusement—“you don’t know? But it’s _your face_.”

“How many did you count?”

There are some low noises of activity outside their room, and although Momo isn’t as exhausted as before she still has to push aside an odd, lingering wish to remain here with Mina, buried underneath these blankets, exactly as they are. 

“I had gotten to 6 when you woke up,” Momo answers, inexplicably glum when Mina slips out from under their covers and stands from the bed, turning back to see Momo sitting on the edge of their bed as well.

“Do you want me to count yours?” Mina asks with a good-humored grin, and, without waiting for a reply from Momo, she extends a finger to gently touch the single mole Momo has on her own nose. “ _One_.” 

“Hilarious, Myoui,” Momo retorts sarcastically, with an ill-hidden smile that widens warmly when Mina happily high-fives herself and begins to get changed, readying herself for the commercial advertisement they’re filming this afternoon. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something before we have to go?”

Distractedly, Mina shakes her head (“no; it’s okay—I still have to shower and I think we’re running late anyway”), replacing her shorts with a comfortable pair of pants, and Momo watches the girl’s movements with a sudden, faint ache of confusion. There’s something like affection, like a strange kind of attachment, that feels like it’s tethering her to Mina in this moment, but there’s also something else. It’s a tightening in her chest, a dull pang that she thinks will pass and disperse, because she thinks she’s felt this before, a couple of times in the past few weeks, but it’s always been really rapid and fleeting, gone too quickly for her to truly notice—but this is what makes her frown; that it’s not passing or dispersing, it’s staying. It’s just… there.

“How about you? Do you want me to make you something before we leave?” Mina’s amiable offer quells the bewildered storm of Momo’s thoughts. 

It’s still there.

“No, that’s fine. I’m good.”

-

TWICE is featured in a live radio broadcast in Japan to promote _Candy Pop_ , and that incident for which they’ve been preparing, anticipating and dreading simultaneously, it finally happens.

An hour into the radio program, they’ve been asked variations of the usual questions (which member is the best at this activity, which foods have they been eating, what Japanese tourist attraction have they enjoyed the most, which celebrity would they choose to be for a day, etc.). Even though the transmission is live, each caller’s question is vetted and approved by the station’s staff before the caller is patched on-air, as there are topics TWICE is not to be asked about—primarily, anything involving Tzuyu’s past complications with her nationality, and Mina and Momo’s marriage. 

The DJ patches through the next caller and when they hear through their headphones, _“this question is for Minari,”_ from someone who sounds intimidated and just as shy as Mina herself usually is, Momo immediately expects the question to be something similar to what Mina has had to answer in the past (like some words of advice for introverts who want to find the courage to perform).

Instead, the caller hesitates and asks, tone heavy with heartfelt sincerity, _“I’m very shy with my feelings and don’t know how to tell when I like someone. You have said in the past that you are timid, too. How did you know Momo was the one for you?”_ Instantly, Momo gasps and every girl balks, eyes widening and jaws slacking—Momo’s eyes snap to Mina, who’s paled quite a bit and appears frozen to her chair. 

In the span of one second, Momo shifts from shocked to furious; her reaction seems to reverberate through several of her emotional and psychological layers, as though time itself had slowed down to accommodate everything that takes place inside her: Mina isn’t supposed to answer any questions about them, Mina hates the attention, Mina hates talking about herself, this isn’t supposed to happen, they’ve managed to keep this from happening for three months now, how did this question make it through, why would this caller even think to ask—

Anything longer than a second of silence would convey a negative reaction to the caller’s question and this is a live, un-editable broadcast, so Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Sana, and Momo all simultaneously leap forward on their chairs towards their microphones, all intending on speaking so that Mina can be spared the acrimony of responding. Just as Momo opens her mouth to blurt out something— _anything_ —she halts.

“Um, Momo and I have always been very close; she was always my friend and we sort of grew up together, along with everyone in the group,” Mina tells, voice soft and careful but steady and sure nonetheless. Momo stills, feeling somewhat like she’s been pulled underwater and there’s a song playing in the distance that she really, really needs to listen to, if only she could swim to the surface. “I’ve always been full of doubts and insecurities but she’s always helped me, to be more confident, to like myself more and be braver.” There’s something small, something almost unnoticeable, boiling inside of her, filling her lungs and coming up her throat. “So if you feel like you know someone really well, and they know you, too, and they make you feel better about yourself, then maybe you can start thinking that they are the one for you.”

_“Thank you, Minari. I love TWICE!”_

“Yes, thank you for that question,” the DJ cuts in, going on to announce a commercial break. Instantly, every TWICE member turns to Mina with astonishment, as he continues regretfully, “the station would like to apologize; that was not the question that was vetted.”

“That was so good!” Chaeyoung exclaims, raising a hand for Mina to high-five. Mina laughs with embarrassment and complies, as Jeongyeon and Sana actually stand up from their chairs to give Mina proud, congratulatory hugs, practically shouting, “you said all that and you didn’t die!” while Tzuyu and Jihyo are not far behind, also cheering Mina.

“She’s getting so much better,” Nayeon comments contently, turning to Momo, who is swallowing down an unexplainable, terrible lump inside her throat. “She answered the question without actually answering it, exactly how our media instructors had taught us, remember?”

God, this lump just won’t disappear. Momo gives Nayeon an absentminded, concurring nod, and reaches for her water bottle. Halfway through her motion, she meets Mina’s gaze.

Mina is smiling but there’s a question floating between them, and Momo tries to understand it like she usually does, but she can’t—there’s an urge inside her to run away and there’s another urge to find a way to get closer to Mina, and right in the middle of that is that unnamed feeling, still boiling inside her, that she’s trying so hard to shrug off, but it’s clinging to her like it’s already part of her body, and what is this; why won’t it go away—

“All right, we’re back from commercial break—in 3, 2.. 1… welcome back to our live broadcast with TWICE!”

-

Once a year, as certainly as the seasons change and the sun rises each morning, Momo gets sick. This year, it happens relatively early—in early February. To avoid the spread of disease, Mina is ordered to double-bunk with Nayeon, and Momo spends her days and nights stewing in her illness-induced misery. It’s only when her flu is this bad that she actually dislikes dancing, because her head pounds and her muscles don’t seem to work as they should, she can’t breathe properly, and her stomach can’t hold any food down so she’s weak _and_ grumpy.

There are sporadic jokes about Mina’s duties now that Momo is ill—there’s a sort of role-reversal that happens, in that Momo, the one who usually cooks for Mina, is the one Mina is now cooking for—so the comment that they hear the most whenever Mina helps Momo eat or [take her medicine](https://twitter.com/myouiwaddles/status/983565059182899201) or tries to catch her up on the events Momo is missing while she’s bedridden, is “you know what they say—in sickness and in health, right?” even though Mina and Jihyo are usually the ones who care for everyone who gets sick anyway, so Momo swears that if she hears that one more time, she’s going to punch someone as soon as she has enough strength to lift her arm.

On the fourth day of Momo’s illness, Mina and Sana take a trip to Japan to sign some kind of legal paperwork related to their “adult patrimony”—something Momo was supposed to do as well, but her illness keeps her from travelling—and, a day after they’ve left, Momo finally begins to feel better. Sana and Mina are allowed to briefly visit their family members while they’re in the country, which is why Momo and Mina don’t text as often as they would have; Momo doesn’t want to disrupt her time with her family.

It’s at the conclusion of Sana’s and Mina’s second day in Japan, a few hours before they board a flight back to Korea, that Momo spots a notification on her phone from TWICE’s V-Live account—Sana and Mina are starting a stream. Momo had been glumly laying down in bed, but now she perks up and hastily opens the app, inhaling sharply when the screen brightens to display Mina’s calm, quiet smile and Sana’s wide, infectiously-enthusiastic grin.

 _“Hello, Onces! Mina and I are in Tokyo. We both had some family business to resolve,”_ Sana explains cheerily, while Mina waves shyly at the camera, eyes mostly fixed on the comments that Momo notices have started to flood the stream. There’s a pause during which Sana rotates the phone, so that viewers can see that the two girls are in a park. _“Oh, you guys are wondering where Momo is?”_ Sana queries with a mischievous raise of her eyebrow that Momo makes note of, knowing Mina is too concentrated on reading the comments to do the same. _“Momoring is sick, so she couldn’t come with us.”_

At this, Mina nods, mouth curving into a small pout. Momo doesn’t linger on that reaction, because she knows Sana is up to something; she waits barely a second, and then finds that she was right.

_“But I bet Momo is watching this from Korea, so you should say hi to your wife, Mina.”_

Instantly, Mina’s outraged eyes snap to Sana, who is barely holding in her laughter. Momo wants to laugh, too, and because the bedroom door is open, she hears Jihyo exclaim from the kitchen, “OH MY GOD DID SANA JUST TELL MINA TO TALK ABOUT MOMO ON A V-LIVE?” while Jeongyeon herself bellows out, “DOES SANA WANT TO DIE YOUNG?” Nayeon promptly jumps in, yelling from the hallway, “MOMO, YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO MURDER SANA AS SOON AS THE STREAM IS OVER. WILL YOU VISIT HER IN PRISON?” while Dahyun shouts afterwards, “ARE CONJUGAL VISITS A REAL THING OR IS THAT ONLY IN MOVIES?”

Momo chuckles with amusement at this, wondering if Mina will even acknowledge Sana’s request, or will divert the stream to something else, which is what she’s expecting, since Mina would never actually talk about—

 _“Hey, Momo.”_ It’s Mina, looking into the cellphone camera sheepishly, interrupting every current of thought that had been passing through Momo’s brain. 

And it’s catching sight of that little nervous smile, tinged with an effort Momo knows is taking place inside her, of her forcing herself to appear surer of herself than she really is, that’s what really hits Momo right then; the length of Mina’s absence, the weight of each second and hour that Mina has been away from her, the fact that there’s an entire ocean separating them—it really hits her and Momo finds herself counting her heartbeats and counting her breaths and counting Mina’s moles, trying unsuccessfully to ward off a fresh wave of longing inside her. 

_“I hope you’re feeling better. And that the girls are looking after you,”_ Mina continues, voice dipping into a delicate, timid tone. _“And if they’re not—”_ Sana bursts out laughing then, and Mina smiles. _“If they’re not, I’ll be back soon and I’ll take care of you.”_

There had been an unease swirling in her bloodstream, a weird loneliness prickling her skin, that had made her ask Dahyun to sleep with her last night, when she had started feeling better and was no longer contagious, and Momo hadn’t comprehended why that feeling would be there, until now—because now Sana is joking about the other members from TWICE forgetting to give Momo her medication, and Mina’s soft laugh in response to that is echoing in the hollow cavity of Momo’s chest.

The stream ends at that, and Momo is alarmed, downright caught off-guard, by how fervently she wishes Mina would call her before she boards. 

And then she gapes at her phone in disbelief when the device begins to vibrate in her hand, her contact picture for Mina—the girl making a wholehearted, albeit terrible [attempt to wink](https://twitter.com/minajam0324/status/891619045069398017/photo/1)—flashing in the screen. 

Momo wants to squeal; she wants to leap off the bed and high-five herself; she wants to dance her favorite routine to her favorite song; she wants to hug every person in the world; but mostly, she wants to see Mina again. So she takes a deeper breath than necessary, clamps down the enormous grin curving her lips, and taps the screen to answer Mina’s FaceTime call.

 _“Hi, Momo,”_ Mina greets warmly. And now Momo really, really knows that something is terribly wrong with her, because there’s a bundle of feelings inside her chest that recognizes Mina’s voice before her own brain does.

“Hi, Mitang,” Momo replies almost breathlessly. The most immediate impulse Momo always has when she feels any sort of vulnerability is, without fail, to distract from it by making a joke. Which is what she does now. “You’re actually calling me? Did you mean to dial Tzuyu instead? I can go get her if you want.”

Mina’s laugh is light and free and sweet. _“You’re so annoying, Momo.”_

She had been planning on maintaining complete control over this situation, but it’s like the murmurs of her heart are louder than the voice of her self-control, and the words spill out of her before she can rein them in. “I, um, miss you. A lot.”

 _“I’ve only been gone two days,”_ Mina remarks gently, and now Momo really feels like she could die—like she should ask someone to kill her and bury her so she can flee from this mortifying situation.

“Yeah, I know…” she mumbles, unable to look at the screen.

 _“I wish you were here,”_ Mina adds distantly, and Momo’s eyes are pulled back to the screen. _“It was a nice visit. And my mom asked about you.”_

This draws an amused frown from Momo. “Really? Did she want to know how the daughter-in-law is treating her daughter?”

 _“No… she actually wanted to know how I’m treating her daughter-in-law, as a matter of fact,”_ Mina replies with a dry chuckle. _“If I’m taking care of you since you’re sick, and if I’m giving you all your medicines on time. She made me carry this label inside my backpack—”_ Mina recounts, temporarily out of sight from the camera as she digs through a bag; _“it’s for this medicine that she said I should buy for you. See?”_ She raises a strip of printed plastic to the camera and Momo feels a warm wave of happiness rushing through her. _“She only had the label instead of the actual bottle because we weren’t home—we sort of had a get-together at my grandparents’ weekend house, so I didn’t go home this time.”_

Momo chortles, mind flashing with renewed reminders that Mina, out of all of them, came from the wealthiest family. “Weekend house?” Momo teases fondly. “I forgot I married rich.”

Mina sighs disapprovingly. _“Have I mentioned yet how annoying you are?”_

“Not in the past ten seconds.”

A beat of silence passes then; they’re kind of grinning at each other and so much of what Momo wants to say aren’t things she can say, that she starts counting Mina’s moles again. 

_“You sound better. I’m happy about that,”_ Mina says with another smile. _“You sounded like death when I left.”_

She counts six moles, and stops.

“I think I’m almost all good,” Momo agrees with another pang in her chest from missing Mina so, so much; it’s like being sick again. Quick—she urges herself—make another joke. “So when you come back, you won’t have to sleep with Nayeon anymore. Try not to miss the mistress too much.”

The girl's reaction is half shock and half humor; Mina laughs freely and shoots back cleverly, _“Dahyun told me she slept with you last night, so maybe you’re the one with the mistress.”_

And now Momo is actually blushing, impressed by her quick and sharp wit. “Okay, okay. I’ll sleep alone tonight until you come back. I’m a one-woman woman after all, Mrs. Myoui.”

She could listen to Mina’s laugh every second of the day, for all of her days, and she doesn’t think she’d ever get tired of it. It would become her favorite song, she knows it. The song she listens to for a mood-lift when she’s sad. The song she listens to when she’s happy, as a soundtrack to match her high spirits. 

_“Yes, just one more night,”_ Mina reassures, still grinning with lingering traces of her lively laugh. _“Just be patient. And don’t get sick again.”_

Mina bids her goodbye and Momo stares at the [picture of TWICE](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/952933809934057473/photo/1) hanging from the wall, a fan-snapped shot of them from ISAC last month, in which every girl is posing for their cheer section, and Mina and Momo’s pinkies happen to be intertwined—something they used to do all the time, even before the marriage mess began. Something they do, like almost everything else, without noticing or thinking about it.

She’s never noticed or thought about it. 

And now she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention how amazed I am at all the positive responses to this story? Thank you so much! This is only my second fic ever, so I'm really flattered and honored by everyone's feedback. 
> 
> P.S. In case anyone was curious, I wrote the entire chapter listening to TWICE's "Jaljayo Good Night" which is a lyrical masterpiece amirite
> 
> P.P.S. Thank you to everyone who gave me info on Momo’s mole! GAH my research needs to be better T_T


	4. Death by lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Join me in sobbing [here](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/956152378960396288), [here](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/960051557944328193), and [here](https://78.media.tumblr.com/6e68853541670ef24de8ac3956f305b4/tumblr_oedjmyuDM11rnk2vho6_1280.jpg).
> 
> Also, I have no idea how taxes work in Japan. (Or in the US, for that matter.)

Momo tries. 

-

Mina and Sana board their flight from Tokyo at just past midnight and only get to the dorm at almost 5 in the morning, a time by which most of TWICE is already up, including Momo, who was finishing her shower and then more or less rushes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel when she hears noises from outside, indicative of the girls’ arrival.

All other seven girls are now gathered in their kitchen, each in various states of undress and halfway through beauty and cleaning regimens—Tzuyu and Dahyun still have rollers in their hair, Nayeon and Chaeyoung have not even removed their morning masks and both Momo and Jeongyeon just emerged from the shower—but it’s when Momo finally makes eye contact with Mina as the girl turns her attention to her and smiles with obvious happiness and Momo kind of sways on the spot, heart stuttering uncomfortably inside her, that she realizes how terrible this new predicament of hers really is. It’s like the world decided to change its shape around her and she didn’t even notice, and now she’s started something that’s not going to go away. The same question poses itself in her mind, over and over again, where did this come from, this thing that has flourished so deeply inside her chest that Momo is too weak to uproot, where did this come from?

Jihyo has just asked the two girls a question Momo didn’t catch but presumes was about the trip, and Sana casually crosses her arms and leans against their kitchen island to tell everyone with a self-satisfied shrug, “well, it was kind of like doing our taxes, and I took care of everything I needed to. Mina, on the other hand…” She shoots Mina a sly, raised eyebrow, almost laughing when the girl purses her lips with embarrassment. “Mina has to go back to the government office place, because she couldn’t finish her paperwork. Guess why.”

Although a boundlessly enthusiastic Sana looks as though nothing would give her more delight than hearing one of them actually try to venture a guess, the kitchen is silent for a beat, until Jeongyeon voices everyone’s curiosity by asking blankly, “why?”

Mina begins to blush and then almost rolls her eyes when a pleased Sana reveals, “because she’s _married_ so she was supposed to file her paperwork jointly with her _spouse_ , Myoui Momo, who wasn’t there.” There’s some collective laughter from everyone, and while Momo is a little taken aback by this development, Mina looks very much like she wants to disappear into the wall behind her. “The government worker was a TWICE fan, though, and even offered to personally handle her paperwork with Momo when we go back to Japan next week.”

“Well, we’re all glad you two are back,” Dahyun welcomes with a grin. “Especially Mina unnie—now that you’re here, Momo can go back to sneezing and coughing on you instead of all of us.”

Momo excuses herself back to their room, suddenly aware that she’s practically half-naked, and it’s just after she’s in her underwear and is pulling a shirt over her head that she hears from behind her, “guess what I found in my luggage while I was in Japan.” There’s no need for her to turn to the doorway to acknowledge whose voice it is, but Momo does so anyway, almost wincing in anticipation of having to be in this tiny room with a girl whose every action is now giving her little heart attacks. Her eyes sweep Mina’s smile and the liveliness of her gaze and there it is again—the distinct sensation that something is grabbing the corners of her heart and gently stretching it inside her chest. Instead of responding, Momo chooses to raise her eyebrows questioningly, sitting on the bed because she doesn’t trust herself to stand when Mina smiles at her again.

But then things are even worse than she expects—Mina releases a small chuckle, and leans forward to grab one of Momo’s hands, placing a pair of partially crumpled pieces of paper on her palm. 

The warmth and familiarity of Mina’s touch makes her almost forget that she’s just been handed something—Jesus Christ, Mina is so distracting—but Momo successfully channels her focus to actually examine what these strips of papers are, and a little prick of pain stings her heart. “Oh, it’s our fortunes from the cookies we got in Las Vegas…”

“ _‘You will be hungry again in an hour,’_ ” Mina recites with humor, sitting down beside Momo on the bed and nudging her shoulder playfully. Momo turns to her without accounting for the fact that Mina is now a lot closer than before, and suddenly Momo’s entire field of vision is bright eyes and a heart-stilling smile and moles that she could now reach out and touch instead of just counting through a cellphone screen and God this is awful, this is so, so terrible; looking at Mina now is like staring directly into the sun.

“Um, _‘love is choice and timing,’_ ” Momo reads hers stiltedly, clearing her throat again and standing up from the bed in a restless attempt to create some distance between them. “So, I’m going to the studio today with Chae and Dahyun, since I just got my voice back.” Mina’s eyebrows instantly furrow with concern, so Momo hurries to add, “I do feel a lot better, though. I can breathe out of both nostrils, don’t have a fever anymore, and my body doesn’t hurt,” she lists easily, putting forth her best effort to sound casual. “I can even taste food now.”

Mina pulls herself back further on the bed to lean against the wall, and quips lightly, “if that’s the case, do you want me to cook something for you? You were complimenting me on my cooking before but I really think it’s because you couldn’t tell how terrible it actually was.”

Momo swallows hard, honestly despising that talking to Mina is suddenly so difficult; her words seem to stumble on their way from her brain to her mouth.

Come on, Momo. Sound normal. “What would you cook?”

“What do you want?” Mina asks, clearly encouraged and excited. “Dumplings? Pasta?”

“Pasta?” Momo tries to joke unsteadily, “I will only eat your pasta if you [weigh](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c3fde8992e1f3359a882dfd0fcf70f26/tumblr_inline_oiez8q2eiE1radvau_500.png) all the individual noodles like you did [last time](https://78.media.tumblr.com/af072f3605eb2d332b9e9f78d17958e7/tumblr_oiexp7kKKi1ulv0o3o4_r1_400.gif).”

Mina smirks, thankfully oblivious to Momo’s discomfort, and throws a crumpled shirt in her direction. Momo doesn’t try to dodge it; it hits her leg and falls limply on the floor. In times past she probably would have playfully tackled Mina or thrown the shirt back at her, or made some comment about how her real-life aim is apparently nowhere near as accurate as her videogame aim. Mina’s grin tells her she’s expecting this, too. But today, all Momo does is force out a smile. 

“See you later, Mitang.”

-

Momo tries, she really does.

-

After what was possibly the worst night of sleep in her entire life—it’s unexpectedly difficult to fall asleep when Mina is right beside her, just blissfully _existing_ while Momo is consumed by misery, and it’s doubly-terrible when she actually dreams with Mina again and ugh why is her life so horrific—Momo raises herself from the bed, groggily makes her way to the bathroom and curses that of all days, this is the one she has to be first in shower order.

When she returns, Mina is readying for her own turn in the shower, distractedly chewing on a small chocolate square. Upon noticing Momo’s entrance, a pleased Mina turns to her and declares, “I have nine moles on my face.” 

Momo never did end up counting all of them, only six. (In her dreams, Mina has six.) “Really? Nine?”

“Well, there are more if you count the really light ones that look like freckles,” Mina explains helpfully, adding, “I had meant to tell you that I had finally counted them, so I could give you an answer, but I forgot to do that yesterday.”

Momo had always thought—naively, in hindsight—that she’d have some control of this, over whom she’d end up having feelings for. She had imagined that when the time came, her heart would ask her, are we going to like this person? And then Momo would have the opportunity to say yes, or no. But no question was asked about Mina, that she can remember. Or maybe it was, and she answered yes. And then kept answering yes every time Mina smiled at her, just like she’s doing now, with the sort of bright charm that seems to reach out across the room all the way to Momo, to touch her and burn her.

“Well, I still only have one,” Momo responds, trying for humor but undermined by a voice that is fainter than she had planned. A small twitch in Mina’s eyebrow tips Momo off that the girl is noticing the oddness. And Momo hates herself then. She knows everything about dance, knows a good amount about music, obtained sufficiently good grades in school, but still feels so dumb, for not knowing what to do about liking someone she really, really doesn’t want to like.

“Are you feeling okay?” Mina asks, tone weighed by concern.

“Yeah, just tired…” Jesus, what a terrible excuse. Quickly, she amends, “and just nervous, you know. About going back to Japan. We’ll be talking a lot more; me, you, and Sana. Just nervous about talking and messing up; not being good at all the promotional stuff.”

This is a legitimate source of anxiety for them, of course. This won’t be their first time promoting their work back home, but it’s always intimidating to acknowledge how far they’ve come, how far their dream and hard work has carried them. Their 2-day debut tour in Tokyo last year had some moderate success but _Candy Pop_ is projected to be huge; they’ve sold out every venue already.

“You’re good at everything; you’ll be great at this, too,” Mina reassures sincerely. 

Her words strike Momo squarely in her gut, and the urge is so strong to take a step forward and touch Mina that she immediately turns her attention to their closet, and begins to hurriedly sort through her clothes. “Yeah, I hope so,” she mumbles, just loud enough for Mina to hear, then out of the corner of her eye, she catches Mina, the smartest of them, the most perceptive, hesitating by the doorway before exiting the room and heading for the shower.

She’s used to associating Mina with dancing, with laughing, with inside jokes, with hugs and high-fives and nerdy comments about videogames—not with being terrified that if Mina comes near her or touches her, that she’ll spontaneously combust. But now, on the day before they depart for Japan, she accepts with some bitterness that this isn’t something she’s going to get used to; this thing of Mina doing little things, and these little things doing big things to Momo’s heartbeats. She had been harboring this faint hope that she would wake up one morning and these feelings would no longer be inside her, but because the universe hates her, it doesn’t look like that’ll be the case.

Momo doesn’t think she has it in her to try anymore. So she stops.

-

All this comes to a head when TWICE boards their flight to Japan and Momo cites an excuse to sit with Chaeyoung and Sana on their flight instead of Mina—something about wanting to watch a movie they had all been interested in—and then again when they land in Aichi, when everyone is picking up their luggage at baggage claim and Nayeon and Jeongyeon are studying their hotel information on Nayeon’s phone.

“Looks like for all our hotels, we’ll have one 3-person room, and three 2-person rooms,” Nayeon reads off distractedly. “Jeong, want to share the 3-person room with me?” Nayeon invites, with Jeongyeon promptly agreeing. “I’m guessing Sana and Dahyun will want to share theirs…”

A surge of panic washes over Momo when she overhears this and it dawns on her that she will most likely be automatically assigned a room with Mina—for _two whole weeks_ , across multiple cities. 

Ungracefully, Momo blurts out, “um, I’ll be your third person.”

Nayeon and Jeongyeon raise their gazes from the phone to her, in sync.

“Really?” an intrigued Nayeon asks. “You don’t want to be in a room with Mina?”

Uncomfortably, Momo attempts to produce a believable reason for her request, barely containing a stammer. “Um, well, obviously I don’t care who I share a room with; no one will be able to tell the press that we’re in different rooms anyway but really, it doesn’t make a difference, I don’t really care—”

And it’s just Momo’s horrific luck that in that exact moment, Sana approaches them, arm wrapped around Mina’s shoulder, more or less dragging Mina beside her. Momo reads off Mina’s expression in a second; the girl is mildly annoyed and only spares a quick look at Momo before tiredly turning her attention to Nayeon.

“Are we sorting out room assignments?” Sana asks with interest. “Dahyun and I are on the same episode of the drama we’re watching so we want to room together.”

Nayeon nods, typing notes into her phone. “And who do you want to room with, Mina?”

It’s instant, the frown that registers in Sana’s face. But the worst part of an already-terrible moment is noticing Mina’s lack of reaction, and realizing that this might have been exactly what Mina expected—for them to have separate rooms. “Isn’t Mina going to be with Momo?”

Momo wants to disintegrate into the ground beneath them.

“No, Nabongs and I have the 3-person room and Momo is our third person,” Jeongyeon explains with some trepidation as Momo ventures a glance at Mina and notices her expression darkening.

“I’ll share a room with Mina,” Jihyo voices from behind them, turning then to Mina with an easy smile. “Is that okay or did you want to room with Chae or Tzuyu?”

“No, that’s fine,” Mina speaks up at last, still not looking at Momo. 

And Momo wonders if this means Mina stopped trying, too.

-

During their first few days in Japan, Momo finds that avoiding direct interactions with Mina off-stage is much easier than she had anticipated. Yes, the group has more free time than usual, but this mostly means that every member actually sleeps a decent amount of hours, and preparation and rehearsals for each show aren’t as time-constrained as they’re used to. 

At random times of the day, Momo will be halfway through a flexibility check, or watching a movie with Chaeyoung, or enthusiastically slurping noodles with Nayeon, and she’ll abruptly hear something like a song hummed in her mind, accompanied by a bright, vivid image that bursts behind her eyelids—Mina, surrounded by the orange glow of a sunset setting onto a park behind her, grinning at Momo from a phone camera. And this is what reminds her of how unused she is to feeling like this, sad and discontent and more than a little hopeless. It takes an enormous amount of effort to restrain her eyes from searching for Mina at every second, and sometimes Momo is successful and sometimes she isn’t, and in a couple of those latter instances, she finds Mina deep in conversation with Jeongyeon or napping on Tzuyu’s lap or showing Jihyo how to knit, and it makes her restless and unhappy that she doesn’t know how to fix this; that she can’t fix her feelings or fix herself.

-

TWICE makes a TV appearance just before their Fukuoka show and an impossibly friendly and cheerful host asks Momo about the last dream she had. Momo almost flinches before she lies that she dreamt of a really delicious pork dish. In the innermost corner of her mind, she answers truthfully: that she dreamt of Mina, that it’s always Mina, that she dreams about her all the time.

-

Momo remembers, belatedly if anything, that there’s a bond she’s always shared with Sana and Mina of being compatriots in a foreign land, and that the bond was just a tad stronger with Mina because so much of Mina’s discipline and habits were shaped by dance training, just like Momo, and this bond is what made coming back home for _One More Time_ so exciting the last time around. She’s sort of associated home with Mina and Sana, and now the three of them really are home and it doesn’t feel like it, because Mina isn’t quite with her.

Momo is consequently swept by this terrible fear of examining her feelings more because it feels like it’ll hurt her a lot if she does.

-

This avoidance act lasts four days. In between their shows in Hiroshima and Osaka, Nayeon off-handedly mentions the JYP showcase next month, making a vague reference to Momo and Mina’s customary “show-off” dance number, and Momo almost groans with frustration that she had completely forgotten about that and they’re close enough to the event date that they should have practiced their choreography more than once, at least, as their showcase numbers are more complex than the routines they perform regularly with TWICE.

Mina is the one who approaches her, and Momo would laugh—bitterly, sadly—at her expression if circumstances were different, because the girl asks warily, “Momo, do you want to go over our showcase routine?” while looking like this is literally the last thing she wants to do.

All Momo can do is nod morosely, because she’s managed to keep away from Mina for a number of days now, and perhaps things were starting to be better—they weren’t—and maybe Momo was about to recover from these inconvenient feelings—she wasn’t—but now she’s going to be in close proximity to Mina again and why can’t life just be easy for Momo, for once?

They make their way downstairs to one of the hotel’s conference rooms, a space that has been specifically outfitted for the group’s use, with walls lined with mirrors and floors modified to resemble the texture of their dance practice room back in Korea. 

Barely two notes in, Momo notices that something is off. It could be their unfamiliarity still with this choreography—they really should have started practicing this before—but her movements don’t seem to mesh with Mina’s, and then they reach one specific point in the routine where their foot sequence does not match at all, and her eyes immediately lock onto Mina’s with a frown, recognizing the same thought passing through the girl’s head. Simultaneously, they both halt and Momo pauses the music.

Momo remarks, “you’re rushing,” at the same time that Mina states, “you’re late,” and the memory of them in Las Vegas, strolling through the aquarium, laughing while engaged in their western stand-off (“for the food,” Momo had said; “for the history,” Mina had said), surfaces in Momo’s mind with wounding clarity and she almost clutches her chest in pain. 

“I’m not rushing,” Mina responds evenly, and abruptly Momo is aware that they’re standing several feet apart, even though their routine calls for close-quartered dancing. Mina is so, so far away and doesn’t look like she wants to come any closer—and that pain in her chest gets worse.

“Your timing is off,” Momo argues, attempting to concentrate on their performance, instead of the chaos inside her.

Mina’s eyebrows furrow so closely together that Momo can tell immediately and regretfully that yes, she’s unhappy to be arguing with Momo, but she’s also affronted by Momo’s implication that she’s making a mistake, rather than just dancing in a different style.

“I’m not off. The foot tap is on the 3rd beat, not the 4th.”

And now Momo wants to scoff, caught in slow-setting disbelief that this is a discussion they’re actually having. The only person in TWICE who could, in theory, stand toe-to-toe with Momo and debate something dance-related is Mina, but she’s never done it. Until now.

“Well, I’m not late,” Momo insists, pondering fleetingly that every TWICE member has some degree of stubbornness, which sometimes translates into determination—the grit that fueled them to persevere through their harrowing pre-debut training—and sometimes translates into minor, inconsequential disagreements that aren’t serious but take place nonetheless, like the ones she’s had with Jeongyeon back when they were roommates and Momo was excessively disorganized, or the ones every other girl has had about unauthorized use of beauty products or clothes. Momo can’t tell whether this will be one of these minor, inconsequential disagreements, or will turn out to be worse. “The foot tap is on the 4th beat, because the foot sweep is from the 2nd beat to the 3rd. It’s following the piano note.”

Mina is outright staring at her now, almost appalled by what she’s hearing. “It’s following the bass. Why would it follow a piano note?” 

“Anyone watching this would be able to tell that it looks weird if you land the tap and then there’s this whole second of nothing happening—”

A quietly furious Mina interrupts her—again, something she would never, ever do in normal circumstances. “It’s not a second of nothing if you’re halfway through a hand and hip motion. And if you’re so sure that anyone watching would agree with you, why don’t you just have someone else watch us?”

It’s a challenge, delivered with some infuriating defiance, and an aggravated Momo takes it gladly. “Fine. I will. I’ll text the others right now.”

“Fine. Do it.”

Momo has seen Mina roll her eyes with this sort of pointed irritation only a few instances during the entire time they’ve known each other, but it’s never been targeted at her before. And understanding that this is what’s happening between them is a terrible, terrible feeling that threatens to make Momo nauseous.

Unthinkingly, Momo reads off the text response she receives; “Jihyo said she’s coming over and that we shouldn’t have waited this long to start practicing.” Then she promptly regrets it, acknowledging at once that this was a grave mistake.

Mina turns to her with unfiltered exasperation and Momo braces herself.

“Well, it’s not like we could have practiced this before; you haven’t even wanted to be in the same room as me—”

Momo has to actually focus her attention on Mina now to properly argue with her, and she instantly regrets that, too—there’s a reason she had tried so fervently to avoid Mina, and it’s in part because once Momo’s eyes actually land on her, it’s almost impossible to tear them away. A melancholic weakness begins to seep into her veins as her gaze brushes across Mina’s eyes, currently glinting discontentedly; the flushed curve of her cheeks; her lips, curved minutely by an almost-there pout; and the moles that she used to count and now wishes so badly that she could touch. 

Momo is overwhelmed by a sudden awareness of this heavy weight inside her, a weight that compresses her lungs and seems to be asking her frankly, how did she ever stay away from Mina for four days; how did she ever stay away from Mina for longer than four seconds?

(Two on her forehead.)

“You’re avoiding me since I came back from my trip with Sana and won’t even tell me what I did wrong—”

(One on her nose.)

“And I know that the more I try to fix whatever it is I did, the farther away you’ll move from me—”

(Three on her cheek.)

“And now we’re arguing over _choreography_ , which we never do—”

(One on her jaw.)

“You know what—I’m leaving.”

An unexplainable jolt of panic that Mina will take off and never speak to her again drives Momo to reach out and wrap Mina’s hand inside her own, hoping anxiously that this will anchor the girl in place.

“No, please; hold on,” Momo pleads, pushing aside the distracting reminder of Mina’s perfume, and the burning sensation coursing through every inch of her skin that happens to be touching Mina.

“Momo,” Mina begins seriously, “this is starting to feel like a fight, and we’ve never had a fight before and I don’t want this to be our first.”

(Two by her lips.)

There’s a truth that exists inside Momo, that she knows as firmly as she knows herself, that she’s spent the past week in a desperate effort to run away from Mina, to hide from her feelings, to bury and forget everything that tells her that Mina is the best person Momo has ever met and she’s never going to feel this way about anyone else. And she’s persevered in this effort even when she started to hear Mina’s voice inside her thoughts and see her face in her dreams, and even when she started aching for her every time Mina was far away, when truthfully, she’s still in the same spot Mina left her in the moment she called her from that park and smiled at her and greeted warmly, _“Hi, Momo.”_

Don’t do this, Momo; don’t do this, don’t do this…

“Mina… my life got so difficult after this started,” Momo mumbles, eyes hopelessly fixed on the girl facing her.

And Mina shifts from irritated to confused, turning her hand over so that she’s holding Momo’s own, like a reflex. “What are you talking about?”

“But it’s not your fault; it’s mine.”

It’s a realization, an acceptance—if she doesn’t _do something_ in this moment, she’s never going to stop hiding, she’s never going to stop running.

And Momo just wants to stop running.

She leans forward just slightly, because they’re already close and Mina’s hand is already inside hers, and in a small, careful movement, she presses her lips upon the corner of Mina’s mouth. She tastes a tiny gasp of surprise, and tastes her own fear and a frail bud of hope she still carries inside her, blooming warm and full, even though it shouldn’t be there.

And then she pulls back, and her brain catches up to her heart.

The horror of what she’s just done collides into her frame with full force.

Fuck.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

Mina’s lips are still slightly parted, her eyes flooded with shock, and an aghast Momo stumbles back, dropping Mina’s hand and stuttering, “oh my God, Mina; I’m so sorry.”

It might be a sign of how devoid of luck Momo’s life truly is, that just then, Jihyo cheerily walks in with Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Sana.

“Okay, tells us the issue.”

Mina blinks a few times, then turns to the girls just as Momo is forcing her own eyes to leave Mina, trying to find her footing again after knocking the world lopsided.

“Um, Momo is late,” Mina states, voice even and neutral even as Momo notices her fingertips worrying a corner of her shirt.

“I’m not late; Mina is rushing,” Momo adds in turn, sounding much more strained, but thankful that she’s able to speak at all.

At this, an excited Sana whips out her phone and a second later, says, “Dahyun, come over; Mina and Momo are actually disagreeing on something! No, seriously!”

Momo notices a distinct sort of concern emanating from both Nayeon and Jeongyeon as they observe her and Mina, tensely standing in the middle of the makeshift dance room, and she knows that they’ve pieced the situation at least partially together—they witnessed Momo avoid sitting with Mina on their flight here, they witnessed her volunteer to be their hotel roommate so she wouldn’t have to share a room with Mina, and now they’re witnessing them clash over one of the central pillars of their entire friendship.

Momo feels jarringly out of sync with her mind and her body, and yet when the girls prompt them to demonstrate the choreography so they may settle their dispute, Momo eases into auto-pilot and completes the routine. But once it ends, every ounce of dread and regret rushes back.

“I think this is one of those cases where it doesn’t really make a difference,” Jihyo opines with a shrug.

“Yeah, you guys can just… pick one of the ways to do it and it’d be fine,” Nayeon agrees, and every other girl seems to nod their concurrence. “Just practice some more and I think you’ll come to an agreement or something,” Nayeon continues, eyes lingering on Momo for reasons that she can’t be bothered to examine at the moment.

Everyone else leaves, and Momo’s dread morphs into full-blown mortification the second she’s confronted with the fact that she and Mina are now alone again.

The conference room is almost pulsing with an oppressing silence. If there will ever come a time in which Momo will be comfortable looking Mina in the eye again, Momo can’t picture it.

“Momo...” Mina calls out hesitantly, and Momo winces because God, she just wants to disappear. Now would be such a good moment to be struck by lightning and die. “I’m having a hard time,” the girl continues softly, apparently not needing to wait for Momo to meet her eye, “distinguishing between what’s real and what we’re pretending. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference. And I hate it.”

That has not been Momo’s experience at all, of course. Things were not real. And then they were.

“Everyone seems to think it’s real, and even my parents—“ She cuts herself off with a dispirited sigh, and Momo finds a tiny strand of courage to finally raise her gaze from the floor to face Mina. “Sometimes we do things, and it feels a way it shouldn’t, and... it’s just getting worse for me, instead of better; it’s just more and more confusing.”

Momo doesn’t quite understand what Mina is describing, but the fact that this is saddening her sends a pang through her; she wishes so badly that Mina were happy.

“Nothing I feel makes sense, and I just really can’t keep track of this—of what we are, anymore.”

( _“You’re good at everything.”_ )

Underneath her fears and just beneath her pessimism there’s something like longing, reaching out from inside Momo in Mina’s direction. Mina thinks Momo is brave, and Momo just wants her to be right.

( _“Do you want me to count yours? One.”_ )

“I just want you to tell me,” Mina continues, and now her voice is low and timid and slightly uneven, “if that was real.”

( _“Hi, Momo.”_ )

Momo infuses her voice with as much certainty as she can, figuring that perhaps she can die later; at this moment, she just needs Mina to be right about her. “What if it was?”

The beat of silence that ensues almost does kill Momo. While she’s busy regretting every decision she’s ever made in her life that led up to this moment, she notices that the haze of nervousness that had been clouding Mina’s eyes is steadily dissipating, and suddenly, Mina’s gaze is clear and steadfast and sure. Momo feels a tug in her gut as Mina watches her with a slow-building smile that Momo knows is going to be carved inside her mind forever—she wonders whether Mina has seen into her, has seen how thoroughly she’s tangled herself all around Momo’s heart.

“You know, our first kiss was an accident; the second one was... well, I don’t remember most of it. And this, I guess, was our third.”

Momo tries to situate herself in this conversation. “Yeah… they weren’t very normal,” she forces out uncertainly.

“Do you think we’ll ever have a normal one?” 

It takes Momo a lengthy, languid moment to process what Mina has said, to contextualize it and interpret it. And when she does, Momo almost faints. She’s not even sure how she’s _standing_ ; she’s certainly not breathing and her brain has apparently short-circuited.

“Um. We could. If you want.” Oh my good God. She’s just offered to kiss Mina again and now the girl is actually beaming at her and she’s absolutely certain that she’s going to have a heart attack. Right here, in a conference room inside a hotel in Osaka. This is how Momo will spend her last few seconds on Earth—gaping at the girl who makes her heart fly out of her chest.

“I think we should.” 

Then it’s Mina who draws closer—which is great because Momo’s legs aren’t functional—and it’s Mina who presses her lips on Momo’s this time, and it’s Mina who slides her hand down the length of Momo’s arm in order to envelop Momo’s hand, and it’s Mina who then pulls back with a grin to study a breathless, wide-eyed Momo.

“How was the fourth one?” Mina asks in a happy murmur, sort of teasing, sort of joking, and Momo thinks Mina’s kiss is what a drug must feel like, the really strong kind that people get addicted to.

“Well, I mean, I’d still rank the pepero one in first place,” Momo breathes out, wondering if this is just a really vivid dream she’s having, wondering if she’s going to wake up in a few minutes with the dull ache of Mina’s continued absence, but she’s quickly snapped out of that musing when Mina laughs and lightly swats her arm.

“You’re so annoying, Momo,” she whispers, leaning in again just as Momo’s heartbeats restart their gallop.

-

For the rest of their tour, Momo plans her days around opportunities to kiss Mina again.

She kisses Mina after they practice their showcase routine. She kisses her the next morning when she visits her room after Jihyo leaves. She kisses Mina after their first concert in Osaka, when everyone is asleep and they sneak into an unused dressing room so Mina can practically tackle Momo into a tight, elated hug, and happily recount how exciting it was to sing to their hometown. 

After their second concert in Osaka, on their off-day before they go to Tokyo, Mina takes Momo to a park by her former high school, and leads her by the hand through a winding trail shadowed by overgrown trees until they reach a moderately-high hilltop overlooking the city, telling her with an embarrassed laugh that this is where she would cut class sometimes, and Momo feels an almost painful flutter make its way through her as she watches her and listens to her, so she kisses her then, too.

-

TWICE has a TV appearance in Tokyo on the day before their show, in which the girls are divided into three teams and participate in a scavenger hunt through the city, trailed each by a filming crew. Even though each team has one Japanese member to assist with translations, no one can use their phones’ GPS features, having to rely entirely on a map, so everyone gets lost and Momo even leads her teammates—Tzuyu and Nayeon—into an entirely wrong area of Tokyo, several blocks from where their clues have been planted.

Halfway through their activity, just as they’ve crossed a busy intersection and Momo finds herself surrounded by the bustle of this metropolis, Momo lets a rush of excitement prompt her to FaceTime Mina.

“Ready to lose to my team yet?” Momo taunts playfully as soon as Mina answers with an automatic grin, engulfed by the city as well.

 _“You wish, Hirai,”_ Mina retorts with amusement.

“My last name is Myoui, actually,” Momo quips smartly, then hears Nayeon release a gagging noise behind her, before she pushes her aside slightly to emerge into the camera’s view and address Mina.

“First of all, you two are revolting,” Nayeon scolds, rolling her eyes as Mina flushes immediately from embarrassment and Momo laughs; “second of all, stop distracting Momo, Mina—Tzuyu and I just barely recovered from being taken into the outskirts of Tokyo by your wife, who, by the way, has no sense of direction.”

The only team that actually finds all their clues and makes it back to the studio on time is the one with Sana, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung, and as they’re celebrating and exchanging enthusiastic high-fives back at the studio, Momo trades a smile with Mina from across the filming stage.

Then, she feels a gentle tug of her sleeve and turns to the girl beside her, Nayeon.

“I’m really glad,” she begins with a small nod, “that you sorted out whatever it was that was going on.”

And Momo doesn’t quite know what to say, because no one knows about her and Mina; Momo is still apprehensive that Mina is too private and this is too new, and it’s just theirs for now. So she just responds with a small nod of her own.

-

With a grin that she knows is uncharacteristically dopey of her, Momo watches Mina nervously setting up her phone for a V-Live stream, pondering that her heart was just this large, empty space before, and now Mina has filled it entirely—filled it so much that sometimes Momo feels it’ll burst inside her.

“This is always so terrifying,” Mina murmurs uneasily, fidgeting with the phone still. “I have no idea how you and Sana and Nayeon can do these for a whole hour; I think I’d die.” Every single member of TWICE has participated in numerous V-Live streams except for the ever-elusive Mina, who’s managed to get out of partaking in one for the entirety of their Japan tour. Tonight, however, is their last show in the country and Momo has convinced her to film one—a short installment, by herself, so she doesn’t feel pressured to keep up with anyone else’s energy level. “I’m not that interesting and what if people start asking about you and I start blushing—”

Momo interrupts her right away, hoping to remedy her anxiety before it truly takes hold of her. “You’re very interesting and funny and pleasant, and your stans won’t leave us alone asking for you to show them a sign of life, so you can just ignore the questions about me and people will stop asking—I promise you; that’s what I did when I kept seeing all the comments about you, and it worked.”

The girl seems moderately comforted, and mumbles, “okay, I guess…” before looking up from the phone and catching sight of Momo’s smile. Momo performs a quick scan of their surroundings, notices that they’re alone for at least a short moment, and presses a millisecond-long kiss on Mina’s cheek.

Then, she begins to slowly step backwards towards the wall behind her. “I’ll be right here,” she states steadily, maintaining her gaze on Mina. “And I’ll be giving you lots of hearts and it’s going to be great.”

Mina watches her movements with an affectionate laugh, then turns back to her phone with a composing sigh and begins.

“Hello, Onces… this is Mina from TWICE.” Mina is flustered and nowhere near as comfortable with these things as some of the other members, but she’s obviously happy to be interacting with their fans, so Momo gives her a proud thumbs-up. “Long time, no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so undeserving of all the support I've received so far for this story; I seriously can't thank everyone enough. But here's a special shout-out to @cuntchaeng who sent me about 93425 pictures of Mina and Momo when I needed inspiration, and @jeongmihyos whose art makes me emo every time I look at it.
> 
> Also, if you’re paying attention, you’ve noticed that my timeline is now totally not right lol—TWICE’s Japan concerts in the story are taking place in February when in reality it all happened in January. Oh well; hope this isn’t too distracting :)


	5. A large house with many rooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, my apologies for the longer time than usual for this update. Work really battered me, and to top that off, this chapter ended up being so long that it's no longer the last one after all :/
> 
> Secondly, I know some major MiMo moments happened this week and all those will be very pertinent in the next chapter :) For now, feast your eyes with me [here](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/966625868205277184) and [here](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/966633005379813377).
> 
> Thirdly, if you're having a tough week, write a Mina-Myoui-is-a-millionaire story--you'll crack yourself up and it will cheer you up--I did it, and 10/10 recommend :)

There’s something Momo wants, and something Momo wonders.

What Momo wonders is whether it’s supposed to be this easy.

-

After TWICE’s last show in Saitama, Jihyo and Nayeon gather every member around a camp-style bonfire on the rooftop of their hotel. Management has provided them with an assortment of foods and drinks with which they can celebrate the successful conclusion of their Japan tour. Pushing aside some lingering exhaustion, each member takes turns sharing highlights of their time in Japan, teasing one another for language mistakes, wardrobe malfunctions—at this, everyone kind of points and laughs at a pouting Momo—and choreography mishaps. They discuss their strenuous schedule for the next few days; their next anticipated comeback in the summer and all the events and award shows they’ll be attending in between. And they re-affirm, as they do every time they’re gathered, that they’re bandmates and TWICE members but they’re also friends, growing up side-by-side in this career.

Momo sneaks Mina out of her shared room with Jihyo after everyone retires to bed, and leads her to one of the hotel’s conference rooms. Once inside, Momo retrieves her phone from a pocket, intending on demonstrating a new sequence she’s developed for their JYP showcase dance. Despite their mutual fatigue, an animated Mina sits down cross-legged and waits expectantly, but while she scrolls through her playlist, Momo remembers something Mina had mentioned to her when they were with the other girls. 

“Wait, you wanted to talk about something, right?”

Mina shakes her head, looking up at her with a smile. “No, you go first.”

Momo proceeds with her modified version of their routine, mindful of the fact that there’s a lived-in familiarity to the way she and Mina dance nowadays, honed by years of leading TWICE through each choreography, and that this is what made Momo incorporate specific elements to her additions; not necessarily because she’s particularly keen on certain movements, but because she knows Mina’s own interpretation and style of dance will shape these parts of their routine into something unique. There’s a space between Momo’s urban, hip-hop-leaning approach and Mina’s ballet-influenced technique inside which Momo has always attempted to shape their choreographies, because this is where she believes they are at their best.

Once she’s done with her demonstration, Momo pauses the music and plops down tiredly on the floor, facing Mina and imitating her cross-legged position. Mina’s smile is so wide and bright that Momo’s heart begins to race immediately, even before she actually asks, “so, what do you think?”

In response, Mina bends forward and slides onto her knees, one hand supporting her weight and one hand raised to Momo’s cheek, and kisses her, happy and sure; Momo leans into it instinctively, feels Mina’s lips curve into a smile even as they press against hers, the world narrowing down to the taste of Mina’s kiss and the warmth of her touch on Momo’s thrill-flushed skin. 

When Mina pulls back, she’s not quite laughing, but almost—she’s grinning and watching Momo with the sort of unhidden awe and wonder that Momo doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to receiving, much less from her—and Momo is a bit breathless and dazed, having to make a conscious effort to steady her jump-started nerves, because kissing Mina is something else she’s not sure she’ll ever get used to. 

“You’re so amazing, Momo,” Mina beams, and now Momo is honest-to-God blushing, “seriously; that was so good!”

“You think so?”

Mina nods enthusiastically, settling back into a sitting position but now resting her hand on Momo’s knee. “I think adding that extra step after the crescendo made the transition better before the bridge.”

Momo is torn between smiling and swallowing down a lump in her throat; the rush of excitement coursing through her bloodstream as she soaks in Mina’s wholehearted approval is so potent that she almost doesn’t know how to react.

“Well, you know all about bridges, so I’ll take your word for it,” she settles on responding with a chuckle, suddenly wanting very badly to kiss Mina again. Then, she remembers. “So what are we doing tomorrow that you said you wanted to talk to me about? Does it have to do with our taxes?”

Now it’s Mina who appears to shift uneasily, prompting a small frown from Momo. “Remember when Sana and I came here to Japan to do our estate thing, and I went to my grandparents’ weekend house here in Saitama instead of going home?” Momo nods encouragingly and Mina continues. “Part of the paperwork I had to sign was for that weekend house… because after we got married, I, um, kind of inherited it.”

Momo blinks blankly, not quite comprehending what Mina is disclosing, and why.

Mina goes on to explain in a low ramble, “I always knew I was getting it once I got married—my grandparents had told me about it a long time ago, but I forgot about it—our marriage incident made things kind of hectic and I didn’t remember this house thing until my parents told me, and then I went back to Korea and I meant to tell you about it but we weren’t really talking,” and at this, Momo purses her lips with regret at the reminder of an awful period that was definitely all her fault, “and then I forgot again, but now that we’re going to do our taxes tomorrow, I wanted to give you a heads-up in case the government worker mentions it; that if they say something about my property estate, that’s what they mean.”

All Momo offers as a reply is a sly, teasing joke; “so you inherited one of the Myoui mansions.”

Mina’s immediate eyebrow raise informs her that she’s far from amused, and Momo’s expression cracks into a spirited grin. “It’s a house.” Before Momo can add another wisecracking remark, Mina reads her well and shoots her a pointed look. “A large house—fine. Anyway, would you like to see it tomorrow after we do our taxes? You said you wanted to see where I grew up and since we can’t go to where I actually lived, you could see this place instead since it’s close and no one will be there, and I did spend a lot of my childhood there.”

“Sure,” Momo assents contently, sliding closer to Mina to kiss her cheek and then her jaw. She allows her lips to linger against her skin for a languid moment, noticing that even as her heartbeats become a bit more erratic, somehow her breathing is slowing. Then she feels Mina angle her head to the side to kiss her mouth instead, and it’s late and everyone is asleep and they’re both drained from their exhaustingly long day, but Momo wishes they could stay here longer; wishes the day were longer; wishes the day didn’t end. There’s a part of Momo, existing in the periphery of her mind, that wonders whether it’s supposed to feel this easy and natural, being with Mina. It seems at times that the entire world has changed around them, but they’ve remained Mina and Momo. “We’ll do whatever you want.”

-

Mina, Jihyo, and Sana all have early morning fittings for TWICE’s _Brand New Girl_ music video outfits, but even though everyone else is free for the entirety of the day, all nine girls gather for a catered breakfast in the room Momo is sharing with Nayeon and Jeongyeon before the three girls have to leave for their appointment.

Comfortably sitting on her own bed and squeezed between Mina and Tzuyu, Momo is absorbed in an apparently fruitless effort to peel back a thin foil cover securing a jelly inside its jar, while also gathering snippets of each member’s discussed plan for the day—Nayeon, Jihyo, and Tzuyu are going to visit Sana’s house; Dahyun, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung are visiting a theme park—and then she hears a small chuckle from Mina as the girl determines an intervention is necessary and begins to assist Momo in removing the jar cover.

From the edge of her hearing, Momo catches a mention of her name, and immediately glances up from the jar around which both her hands and Mina’s are entwined, spotting both Chaeyoung swiftly stepping out of the room—presumably to grab more food—and the inquisitive gazes of the other six members.

Their mutual looks of confusion lead a smirking Nayeon to repeat, “I asked what you two are doing after your tax appointment.”

“We’re going to visit the mansion Mina inherited from her grandparents,” Momo replies instantly, trading a conspiratorial wink with Sana, who has over the years and along with Nayeon and Jeongyeon made something of a sport out of embarrassing TWICE’s most easily flustered member.

“It’s not a mans—” Mina begins, but is promptly interrupted by a thoroughly entertained Sana.

“Oh, you mean the Myoui family palace; yes, Mina mentioned it.”

Mina is baffled by Sana’s contribution to the conversation, but before she can correct that statement as well, Nayeon’s masterful perception skills push her into the joke.

“Oh, yeah, the place where they store their yacht?”

There’s something like horror and embarrassment competing for control of Mina’s expression, and Momo has to avert her face to stifle a laugh.

“We don’t have a yac—”

“No, the yacht is by that castle her family has; the mansion has the private jet,” a gleeful Dahyun joins in, as every other girl is unable to contain a laugh when Mina gasps at the perceived betrayal.

Chaeyoung returns to the room right then, cradling a box of cookies and instantly puzzled by the round of cackling reverberating through the room.

“Hey Chae,” Jeongyeon amends with a chortle, “did you know Mina’s family owns a village?” 

“Oh, I thought they owned Japan,” Chaeyoung follows along wittily.

This is what finally draws a laugh from Momo, made worse when Mina smacks her arm with indignation. 

“You started this,” Mina reprehends with a huff.

Momo’s eyes are sorely tempted to focus on Mina’s pout, and briefly she finds herself distracted by the ghost sensation of Mina’s kiss, strong as though Mina has engraved the taste and feel of her lips upon Momo’s own. 

She offers a humored, half-hearted apology, and almost reaches for the girl’s hand before remembering they’re not alone. “Sorry about letting that slip,” she mutters in an awful attempt at sincerity, barely able to maintain a serious expression.

“No, you’re not,” Mina retorts easily, but now Momo notices her own attempt to keep from smiling, and God, she really, really wishes she could hold her hand.

-

Momo had planned to be soundly asleep throughout the duration of Mina’s 2-hour-long outfit fitting, but just as Mina is about to leave, Momo realizes that both Nayeon and Jeongyeon are busily preparing for the day ahead and there will be no peace and quiet in that room for all of the foreseeable future, which is why Mina offers her own bed to Momo, emphasizing that since both she and Jihyo will be out, there should be no disruptions to her nap.

Mina assures her that she’ll wake her up when she returns from their appointment, and when Momo finally sinks into the girl’s bed and Mina’s perfume envelops her once again, she’s swept with gratitude that she took the girl up on her offer.

When Momo wakes, it’s to the now-familiar but nonetheless heart-stilling sensation of Mina’s lips on her own. 

Momo’s eyes dart to the closed doorway the moment Mina draws back, much to the girl’s apparent amusement.

“No one is here; don’t worry,” Mina murmurs with a small smile as Momo notices her sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand resting on Momo’s blanket. “Do you want to go now or sleep some more?”

Momo answers the question first; “just give me like two minutes and I’ll get up and go change; I actually slept really well because this bed smells like you and it reminded me of our bed back in the dorm.” Then, as she watches Mina lift the blanket so she can lie down beside her, and spots a lovely blush tinge her cheeks, she turns to the side, propping her head on her arm, and adds, her curiosity piqued by something that has remained on her lips from Mina’s kiss. “Were you eating chocolate?”

There’s a light laugh from Mina that betrays her response before she even says, “yeah, I was. The stylist gave us some after the fitting.”

“Do you have more?” Momo asks with interest.

Mina shakes her head regretfully and turns to the side, fully facing Momo; each feature of her face now in breath-stealing proximity to Momo. “No, I’m sorry; I should have grabbed another one to bring back to you, but I can go get some from Chaeyoung if you want?”

At times, Momo has wondered whether looking at Mina will ever become any easier—as in, whether it will ever not feel like her eyes have been magnetized to every surface of her face and body, whether she will ever be able to glance at Mina without her gaze dragging and sticking to every part of her. She wonders this now, as Mina extends her tender-hearted apology and Momo kind of melts and swoons as she observes her. And as has been the case every time before today, she wonders this and then quickly accepts that it will never become any easier, because Mina looks like Mina and Momo is never going to want to look away.

“It’s okay,” Momo mumbles, already leaning down and gently settling a hand on Mina’s neck. “I’ll just get it from you.”

It might be because Momo deepens the kiss immediately, earnestly bent on chasing the taste of chocolate on Mina’s tongue, or it might be because they’re on a bed, and they’ve kissed while leaning on walls and sitting on floors and wrapped by laughter and arms and oversized jackets, but they’ve never kissed laying down and engulfed by blankets, or it might just be because it’s been a week of kissing Mina and Momo just keeps getting more and more addicted to her and now she gets headaches whenever it’s been too long without Mina’s lips, but whereas every one of their previous kisses has been soft, warm, and gentle, this one rapidly transforms into a deep, hot, and breathless endeavor, because Mina is licking inside her mouth and Momo maybe sort of ends up biting Mina’s lower lip and Mina’s hand ascends from her arm to her shoulder and then to the nape of her neck and underneath the hem of her collar and Momo shifts her positioning until she’s more or less covering Mina’s body with her own and their legs automatically adjust into a perfect fit, and then just as Momo begins to feel light-headed and as though she’s going to evaporate from the bed, an impossibly-distant knock blares much like an alarm inside the room, and immediately Mina breaks the kiss and they fly apart as though a gunshot has gone off.

When Jihyo comes in, Momo has by some miracle—she truly has no idea how—transported herself to Jihyo’s bed while Mina is sitting on her own, idly pursing her lips in a nearly-convincing attempt to look casual. Momo turns to Jihyo and finds that the girl has apparently not noticed anything out of the ordinary.

“Hey, Momo. Did you end up sleeping on my bed instead of Mina’s?”

It takes a second for Momo to piece together Jihyo’s query, her mind still in disarray by the lingering heat of Mina’s kiss.

“Um,” she begins, then realizes she has to clear her throat because no sound actually came out, “I slept on her bed first, and then slept on yours.”

Mina widens her eyes a bit, and Momo almost winces at how utterly unconvincing her words were.

“We’re going to leave right now,” Mina states, much calmer than Momo could have ever managed. “Momo, do you want to go change and I’ll meet you outside?”

Change? Momo frowns until she remembers that yes, that’s right—she’s still in pajamas.

With an obedient nod, Momo promptly leaps off the bed and exits the room, still in mild disbelief that; one, she can’t just spend an entire afternoon kissing Mina the way they were kissing a minute ago; two, that they didn’t get caught; and three, that Mina allowed her to answer Jihyo’s question when clearly, she’s five thousand percent better at maintaining her composure in compromising situations than Momo will ever be.

The second Momo slides into the backseat of the vehicle transporting them to the government office and their corporate driver shuts the door, Mina turns to her with an incredulous scowl. 

“Really? You slept on _both beds_?” she hisses, mindful of not being heard by the driver while maintaining a tone halfway between dumbfounded and amused. “You’re so bad at this, Momo; thank God Jihyo is terrible at reading people.”

“Okay, so I don’t lie well when I’m under pressure,” a mildly defensive Momo hisses back, proceeding to bite back a grin when Mina pinches the bridge of her nose. “At least now we know next time one of the members walks in when you’re trying to take my shirt off—”

“I was _not_ trying to take your shirt off; it was loose and _falling_ off—”

“—you should be the one who handles the questions or creates a diversion or whatever.”

Mina stares at her for a moment, narrowing her eyes as though analyzing a game maze, and Momo expects her to roll her eyes with the kind of affectionate annoyance that she’s gotten so used to, but instead she remarks with admiration, “I cannot believe how quickly you jumped off that bed, by the way; you really are athletic.”

This time Momo does laugh, and Mina joins her with a fond chuckle, the sound of which pulls down Momo’s gaze directly to Mina’s mouth.

After throwing a verifying glance at the driver, a flushed Mina leans closer to Momo and whispers dryly, “if you’re still planning to get the chocolate, you should know you kissed all of that off already.”

“No, I think there’s more,” Momo insists playfully, grinning when Mina laughs.

“Oh, we’re almost there,” Mina remarks after something catches her attention outside a window. “After the paperwork is all done, can I drive us to the weekend house? It’s only about forty minutes away.”

“To your palatial estate?” Momo shoots back wryly, then immediately yelps when Mina punches her lightly on her arm. “I mean, your average-sized house made for regular, non-wealthy people?” She pauses, considering Mina’s request again. “Wait, as opposed to what? If you don’t drive us, are we asking a JYP driver to take us?”

Mina averts her gaze with ill-hidden reluctance. “No, I meant… that I could also ask my grandparents’ butler to pick us up and take us.”

Momo bursts into laughter so quickly that Mina raises her eyebrows first, and only a second later eases back into a glare. “Oh my God—haha—you literally—haha—have a butler—haha,” Momo tries in vain to catch her breath; “—the jokes—haha—they tell themselves.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Mina growls out pointedly, “as I was saying, I’d rather borrow one of the JYP cars and drive us, if you’re okay with that.”

Momo is still laughing so Mina punches her arm again for good measure.

-

Completing their tax paperwork in the government building that morning is not as tedious as Momo expects; indeed, their lawyer representative from JYPE helpfully explains, in private, how their respective possessions have been divided in order to accommodate their temporary marriage. And while Mina is pulled to another office to go through another batch of papers, the lawyer provides Momo with a copy of their divorce settlement; “so you two may verify that your information is correct.”

Momo studies the thick bundle of papers with a disconcerted frown, because yes, they’re aware that they will eventually divorce, but their eligible dates for that still seem relatively far way—it’s February and even if they finalize their divorce at the six-month mark, the authorization for which seems very unlikely, that’d still be in mid-April. With an unsettled nod, Momo shoves the paperwork into her backpack and reverts back to awaiting Mina’s return.

And then immediately finds herself recalling the recent memory of Mina’s kiss while her stomach twists and turns and leaps inside her. It’s unexpectedly difficult to prevent her mind from wandering from one heated musing to another—it’s as if now that Momo has kissed Mina in that way, all she’d like to know is what it would be like to kiss her everywhere else. And this is a persistent thought that continues to pull at her heart and gut until Mina finally makes her way back to her with an easy smile.

“Ready?”

-

Mina is a much better driver than Momo predicted, truth be told, and after a few minutes of recognizing that her skills are certainly more fine-tuned than Sana’s—who’s almost killed them before—or Jihyo’s—who is apparently unacquainted with the gas pedal and has been observed driving slower than butterflies gliding by—she wonders why, exactly, she assumed Mina would be a terrible driver.

They make their way through alternating winding roads and moderately-trafficked highways, discussing their latest routines and their upcoming schedule and elements from other artists’ routines they’d like to model in their own. She updates Mina on Hana’s latest dance school undertakings, shares her wonderings on the likelihood that they’ll be visiting any exotic new countries this year, and jokes about whether her outfit curse will persist in 2018, and she’ll have some other wardrobe malfunction on stage in the near future. And Mina nods and chuckles and offers her own opinions and comments, telling Momo about her plans for other charitable causes she wants to join, about being given a tour of her brother’s new university apartment through a FaceTime call, and how much she wishes she could spend more time with Ray, and Momo likes this so much; listening to Mina’s voice and following the trail of her thoughts and soaking in her laugh and her warmth when she reaches across the center console to brush her hand against hers.

At a stoplight on their way to the house, a lively Mina recounts that she learned how to drive by playing racing simulation games obsessively until she had broken every time record in the local arcade, and that this is the reason her parents didn’t buy her a car with any particular engine prowess when she got her license—because they didn’t want her to “wrap it around a tree” the first time she drove it. Momo is reminded that this is the Mina that she likes best—this girl who’s beaming with a tinge of pride and thoroughly enjoying herself while describing the experiences that shaped the corners of her personality. Momo doesn’t even try to contain the urge to lean over the seat and press a kiss into the crook of Mina’s neck, tickling the girl and sparking a sound that is half yelp and half laughter, and Momo finds that she enjoys Mina’s laugh like she enjoys sunshine, like she enjoys the aroma of a freshly-cooked pork stew dish, like she enjoyed the pliant softness of grass underneath her bare feet whenever her father would take her to attend his games.

Once they’ve arrived at their destination—a somewhat secluded property by a mountainside—and step out of the car, it takes all of Momo’s strength not to gape at the enormous structure in front of her while Mina is self-consciously grimacing.

“So...” Momo clears her throat, pursing her lips for a moment to hold back a laugh. “Should I even say anything—”

Mina shifts with mortification and clears her throat as well. “Um, it looks bigger from the outside than it actually is…”

As Momo discovers the second they step foot inside the foyer, the house is exactly as large on the inside as it looked from the outside, and just as they’re setting down their backpacks inside Mina’s expansive room and Momo is halfway through a joke about whether she’s a gold-digger if she technically didn’t know about the Myoui wealth when they got married, Mina abruptly cuts her off by kissing the corner of her mouth, successfully extinguishing every thought in Momo’s head.

“It actually worked,” Mina celebrates with delight when she draws back, as a dazed Momo is still emerging from the faint rush of excitement that always washes over her whenever Mina kisses her. “I should do that every time you start making fun of me—wait, no; I just realized that I’d be doing that every five minutes, so never mind.”

Momo assesses the space around them with unhidden interest and a quickly-widening smile. Her room is exactly as Momo had imagined—a pristine white and pastels color scheme, mostly organized save for a pair of worn ballet shoes tucked into a corner. There are framed pictures of Mina in various stages of her life scattered about the room, and Momo focuses on one in particular hanging by her study, displaying a toddler-aged Mina in a ballet leotard. Right beside it, not three inches away, is another picture of Mina, now in her early teens, wearing a tactical-looking piece of gaming headgear, posing proudly with her brother beside a brightly-lit console. 

“I like this about you, you know,” Momo murmurs, eyes still fixed on the two pictures, vaguely aware of the comfortable quiet surrounding them and the way her heart is clenching a bit inside her chest. “That you like these different things; that you’re good at things that are so different from each other. It’s unexpected.” Not yet turning to Mina, Momo advances towards the girl’s bed, sitting down idly and then widening her eyes with shock. “Oh my God, this bed is so soft.” She makes an exaggerated motion of settling into the spectacularly plush mattress and catches sight of Mina watching her with amusement. “How did you ever get out of it in the morning? I would never leave.”

With a low laugh, Mina approaches her and shrugs, standing in front of Momo’s seated figure. “Nowadays I share this really small, uncomfortable bed with one of my bandmates, but still for some reason I actually don’t miss _this_ bed that much.”

“Is it because the bandmate you share that bed with is an amazing, wonderful person?” Momo teases, reaching out to tug Mina’s jacket sleeve.

“Yes, she’s all that and also apparently very modest,” Mina complements sarcastically, and Momo can’t help grinning and pulling her closer because it occurs to her again, how easy this is, how much she enjoys the feeling of Mina rearranging the spaces of her heart every time they’re together.

Momo stands from the bed, face-to-face now with Mina, their half-inch height difference unnoticeable. She smirks as she makes a showy display of sweeping her gaze through each of the girl’s moles.

“I’m going to kiss all of them individually,” she declares firmly, with a self-assured—borderline cocky—nod. “Even the tiny ones that look like freckles.”

Mina’s ensuing smile brightens the entire room and Momo steps closer still. “You’re not going to be able to keep count.”

“I’m great at math,” Momo rebuts, jaw slacking with mock indignation when Mina laughs.

“You’re _terrible_ at math, Momo.”

Momo raises a defiant eyebrow, so close to Mina now that she can easily spot the aforementioned freckle-like birthmarks. “Watch me.”

Momo doesn’t make it past the fourth mole—she kisses the two on her forehead (“one and two”), one by her temple (“three… see how great I’m doing?”) and has just pressed another kiss on a tiny mark by her cheekbone (“four—was I right or was I right?”)—when she does completely lose count the moment she feels Mina’s fingers gently slip under the hem of her shirt to graze the shivering skin of her hip; her breathing stutters and she has to blink her vision back into focus.

“I’m sorry—what number were you on?” Mina inquires with a charmingly smug grin, and Momo sighs with defeat.

“That was super unfair,” Momo protests weakly, half of her brain having apparently shut down because Mina’s hand is still on her bare hip.

“I thought you were great at math,” Mina quips, now actually laughing, and God, the flutter that rushes through Momo is so strong that she’s taken aback.

“Why don’t you show all this sass around other people?” Momo retorts while unsuccessfully attempting to shoot the girl a scowl.

Mina’s hands move from her hip to encircle her by the waist as she replies with an affectionate smile, “I’m not married to other people.”

It’s a sudden thing, even though it doesn’t feel unexpected; an unfamiliar but pleasant sensation that begins its journey through her body as a tightness in her chest and then travels outward to settle deep in her bones, all in the span of a very short second. Momo identifies it by its parts: the first part is watching Mina and noticing that it’s almost like the lighting in the room has shifted, and Momo is somehow in this moment catching a glimpse into the future she’s always kind of wanted but hadn’t really pictured before. The second part is being afraid that she’s changing things for them again and making herself vulnerable; that she’s making her feelings for Mina feel like a weakness, and she has to forcibly remind herself that last time she thought she was in too deep and ran away from Mina, she found out later that Mina was in just as deep as she was. And the third part is a reaction to the previous parts; it’s recognizing that she could give Mina everything she has and she would still want to give her more.

And that’s why Momo talks down her fear and says instead, “you can keep being unfair to me, if you want. In other places.”

It takes Mina four seconds to respond—Momo keeps track—and presumably the girl is undergoing the same thought process, because she registers a range of different emotions of which Momo keeps track as well, because they’ve come to know each other so thoroughly: confusion, then realization, then nervousness and timidity.

And then she smiles. “And you can keep counting in other places.” Her voice seems to falter for a moment, and she’s flushed now but leaning closer to Momo nonetheless. “If you want.”

-

What Momo wants is for the day to be longer.

-

Momo’s thoughts fray at the edges every time she finds a new way to kiss Mina, like every time Mina shifts underneath her and tilts her head in another angle or her tongue brushes against hers differently, Momo relearns her mouth, relearns her lips. She makes a futile attempt at first to be slow and careful, to compel her heartbeats into keeping a reasonable pace, but then Mina kisses her as though she’s in the midst of an effort to replace the air in Momo’s lungs with her own, and Momo has to pull back a few times because there’s a fevered ache rushing through her blood and spreading through her body that she can’t control and now breathing properly is increasingly difficult. 

The moment she unbuttons Mina’s jeans and pulls her shirt off, she is unable to do anything but gawk at the newly-exposed flesh with unblinking, dazed eyes, because she’s seen Mina before in almost this exact state of undress but now everything she sees she wants to touch and everything she touches, she wants to kiss, and it feels like her mind is an agitated scramble because she doesn’t know where to start—and this is when a breathless Mina pulls Momo’s own shirt off and kisses her again.

The entire bed is a mess of discarded articles of clothing and entangled limbs and Momo almost can’t handle it; the way Mina squirms underneath her and pants into her mouth the moment Momo’s hands end up wandering down the expanse of her body; the way she’s doing things without quite thinking about them, like when she bites Mina’s neck and then feels Mina’s breath instantly hitch; the way her entire body seems to have morphed into a tightly-woven tapestry of nerves all thrumming with tension and aching for Mina; the way Momo’s tasted her skin and is now being burned by its warmth; and the way her brain’s split into the half that wants, really, really badly, to touch and kiss Mina everywhere, and the half that wants, just as badly, for Mina to do the same to her.

Momo had chased a taste before; the hint of chocolate on Mina’s tongue earlier that day. Here, she chases a sound, the low, shaky groan that she hears from Mina for the first time when her knee accidentally slides between Mina’s legs. It’s the best sound she’s ever heard in her entire life; she can’t believe she’s made it this far in her life without having ever heard it; she wants to hear it on loop, forever, in every moment of every day. That’s why Momo kisses Mina a little hotter and a little harder, and replaces her knee with her hand. And then she hears that sound many more times, little gasps and moans, muffled against her mouth.

Momo’s long lost track of time but then she loses track of everything—space, dimension, and of her own limbs—when Mina shifts, angles herself underneath her a little bit, and uses one hand to pull down Momo into a kiss and another to reach down, and then the entire world slows down and blurs out of focus at the same time that it’s reduced to a single sensation that makes Momo instantly light-headed, the feeling that sweeps her when Mina’s fingers slide inside her just as her own tongue slides inside her mouth.

A very, very faint part of her brain wonders why Mina thought Momo would be able to kiss her back when she was about to do _that_ —Momo has to break it off right away because her breathing is basically just a series of feverish, strangled pants she releases against Mina’s neck. Everything builds so rapidly that it seems to catch her own body off-guard, and then it’s small action from Mina—a little bite, followed by a little lick, hot against her skin—that does it, and then her muscles tense, she squeezes her eyes shut, and sort of stops breathing a little bit, because suddenly everything feels like it’s going to melt away except her heart, like everything around it will evaporate and all that will be left of Momo is her heart, beating and throbbing and aching for Mina.

She exhales sharply afterwards, having to catch her breath but also regaining awareness of all the different parts of her body. She feels Mina pressing warm, gentle kisses on her shoulder, so she raises herself a bit and immediately catches sight of a smirk curving Mina’s still kiss-swollen lips.

Her brain is still barely piecing its thoughts together so she blurts out, “I want to do this all the time,” to which Mina responds with a crinkling laugh and a kiss. “Am I heavy?” Momo asks, suddenly self-conscious that she’s basically laying down atop this girl, feeling exposed and yet not embarrassed.

“No, you’re fine,” Mina mumbles with a grin, and it’s Momo’s turn now to press a kiss upon her shoulder. “You know, you said something like that in Las Vegas just before we got married, about wanting to do something all the time.”

This grabs Momo’s attention immediately, and even though all she wants at the moment is to continue to kiss Mina until time itself has ended and the world’s collapsed around them or they’re old and about to meet the Creator, she’s intrigued enough that she queries, “wait, you remember us getting married?”

“Not the getting married part,” Mina responds reflectively, fingers grazing Momo’s sides in a distracting circular motion. “But I have this short memory of something that happened before. What do _you_ remember?”

Momo winces and slumps embarrassedly. “I caused all this.” When a puzzled Mina raises her eyebrows inquisitively, Momo clears her throat and adds, “I, um, proposed to you. Getting married was my idea.”

Mina’s confusion eases into a sort of teasing smile. “Yeah, I know; I remember.” Momo feels her jaw slack in surprise before Mina continues, “is this why you said it was your fault when you kissed me in Osaka?” Momo wants to press the issue a bit more—she wants to know what Mina remembers, wants to know when she remembered, and how—but she ends up not needing to ask, because Mina inquires, “do you remember what happened before you had the marriage idea?” and when Momo shakes her head with an ever-deepening frown, Mina licks her lips and recounts, “I didn’t remember anything either, actually—not at first. But then we all went on that game show and you had to wear that weird helmet—”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Momo nods encouragingly.

“You touched my neck,” Mina mumbles, placing a gentle hand on Momo’s neck as though to reinforce her narration, and Momo instinctively leans in fueled by both a curiously strong wish to be as close as possible to Mina, and a genuine interest in her account, “and then it just… came back to me, the memory. We were walking in the casino—and we were already really drunk by then, I think—then you said something about how much you like dancing with me and how amazing we are when we dance together,” (Momo winces then, because of course that’s what her drunk self would babble on about—dancing with Mina), “and I sort of… um… I kissed you.”

Momo’s eyes snap to Mina’s instantly—or to her eyelids, she should say, because Mina is actually cringing with what looks like morbid shame. 

“Wait, _you_ kissed _me_? You kissed me _first_?”

“Um. Yeah.” Finally, she squints one eye open as though to assess Momo’s reaction—and Momo is on the verge of victorious laughter because seriously, she really thought she was the culprit in all this, and no one would have been able to convince her otherwise. Momo’s cocky grin deflates, however, when Mina amends that statement with, “and then after I kissed you, you said you wanted to kiss me forever, whenever you wanted.”

Oh. Okay, so this is still embarrassing.

Now it’s Momo’s turn to cringe; she buries her face in the crook of Mina’s neck and feels the girl’s ensuing laugh reverberate through her frame. “And then, you got this huge smile on your face,” Mina continues, still laughing, and Momo wants to disappear with shame—how the hell did she not know she becomes cheesy when she’s drunk? “And you said, ‘Mina, do you know what we should do?’”

This is where Momo’s own mortifying memories pick up, so she complements her retelling with a grunted, muffled, “‘we should get married, Mitang.’ Yeah, that part I remember.” She faces Mina with what she can deduce is a blush—Mina’s entertained chuckle is enough indication of that—then jokes self-effacingly, “so that’s all it took for me, huh? I didn’t even need to see all of this,” she makes a vague motion with her chin towards Mina’s naked body underneath her, “you just kissed me and I was ready to settle down.”

Mina’s chuckle blossoms into a full, warm laugh. “Yeah, and to think everyone thought you’d be more of a player.”

It’s something like her heart is swelling, pressing against her ribcage, wanting to spill out of her—that’s the feeling Momo swallows down as she watches Mina and savors the soft hum of satisfaction emanating from the nerve endings in each part of her body that is touching Mina’s.

“It’s almost as if I like kissing you or something,” she says humoredly, a little bit in awe of the sensations swirling, twisting, and coiling inside her. Her feelings for Mina are so overpowering that it makes her want to soak in them, drown in them, build her life around them.

Mina is blissfully unaware of just how deeply Momo’s thoughts have turned inward; she grins and quirks an eyebrow, commenting, “well, I mean, now you really can kiss me whenever you want.”

A corner of Momo’s mouth twitches in reaction to a thought that bursts inside her mind without any particular prompting. It appears suddenly, settles into her brain, and doesn’t leave.

Momo kisses Mina’s neck, then her collarbone, then her chest.

“Whenever I want?” she asks lowly, proceeds down.

“Yeah,” she hears Mina breathe out, higher-pitched than usual.

She kisses her ribs—and the moles there—and asks further, “and wherever I want?”

She kisses the heated flesh between Mina’s bellybutton and her hip, then raises her gaze to catch sight of Mina watching her descent, eyes darkened and glazed, lower lip held between her teeth.

“That, too.”

-

It’s afternoon now and Momo has rifled through almost every cabinet after practically raiding the fridge. The fact that she didn’t bother putting on any clothes as she slipped out of the bed upon which Mina was peacefully napping is working against her now, as she has to use one hand to maintain the sheet secured around her body while attempting to reach a particularly tall cabinet with her other hand.

“Are you looking for food?” Momo turns and spots a sleepy-looking Mina approaching her, clad in an oversized shirt dipping into her mid-thigh. 

“I can’t believe how empty your fridge is,” Momo remarks sadly as Mina lays a drowsy kiss on the side of her mouth. “I thought the Myouis were rich.”

Mina chuckles fondly. “No one lives here, Momo; we only come here for holidays and special occasions. I can call the butler and ask him to bring us some food if you want.”

That last tidbit of information alarms her and she peeks down her own semi-nude body with panic. “Your butler is here? In the house?”

“No, no,” Mina is quick to correct, reaching out for Momo’s hand reassuringly. “When none of us are here, he stays in the city and comes here about twice a week.” The girl throws an appraising glance at the kitchen and Momo sits down on one of the tall, sophisticated stools surrounding the kitchen island while Mina advances towards an unexplored cabinet. The girl goes on to locate some loaves of bread and a can of hazelnut spread, and Momo eagerly devours the sandwich Mina constructs from the ingredients.

“Looks like we also have some baking mix and dried fruit…” Mina points out distractedly, surveying the rest of the cabinet’s contents. “Do you want to bake some cookies?”

It’s almost too easy to joke about this. “Only if you draw [something pornographic](https://twitter.com/minapics/status/995623839252934656/video/1) on them like last time.”

Her wisecrack results in Mina indignantly opening the can of dried fruit to throw a dried pineapple ring onto Momo’s arm. “They were eyes!”

Momo can’t respond in any way other than to burst into laughter; she beckons a scowling Mina closer, following her movements with an enamored smile, and then kisses her again, enjoying the lingering hazelnut taste being exchanged between them.

“Just so you know, I think you’re very artistic, and your drawing was an amazing life-like portrayal of Jihyo’s assets—”

Mina smacks her arm and Momo laughs again.

“You’re not going to shut up about that, are you?”

It’s easy to joke about this, too. “Not unless you make me.” 

Momo’s hands automatically reach under Mina’s shirt to brush against her ribs and abdomen, fingers tracing imaginary lines connecting the moles she’s learned are located there.

Visibly swallowing down a gasp, Mina chastises unevenly, “Momo, we are not doing this in my grandparents’ kitchen.”

Undeterred, Momo pulls her closer to occupy the space between her legs, appreciating that these stools are sufficiently tall that even though she’s seated, she remains eye-to-eye with Mina, and can easily lean forward and bite and lick her neck. “I thought this was your kitchen now,” Momo retorts in a low murmur.

Quicker than even she had hoped, Mina presses forward to give her a long, deep, lingering kiss that immediately causes Momo’s breath to grow shallow and more urgent. She feels the girl’s hand graze the shivering skin of her inner thigh and then it’s the same sensation from before, but even better—Momo wonders if it’s always just going to get better—as every strand of muscle and every bone in her body sort of braces itself for the moment Mina is finally inside her. And then it happens and her stomach and heart sort of flip-flop inside her and yes, she thinks, they’ve done this multiple times now and it’s always going to just get better and better, especially now that Mina knows to apply pressure exactly where she’s found Momo likes it, and knows exactly where Momo wants her to touch with her other hand, and knows exactly how to bite Momo’s neck and how to pull on her lip with her teeth, and this is why it just keeps getting better, and now Momo thinks she’s actually addicted to this.

Afterwards, she has to lean forward onto Mina’s shoulder to recover her breath. “We should…” she pauses to release a measured exhale, “do this in every room.”

“It’ll be a lot of rooms,” Mina murmurs, arms encircling Momo. 

“So you admit this is a mansion,” Momo quips promptly, and laughs shakily when she doesn’t even need to actually look up to see Mina throw her a dirty look.

“It’s a _house_." There's a beat of silence. Then, "fine; it's a mansion.”

-

“This is just a bad game,” Momo grunts, slouching back against Mina when her character dies again. 

Mina presses a quick kiss on her shoulder blade, scooting forward on the bed so Momo’s back is almost flush against her chest—which is extremely distracting to Momo but this isn’t something she’s going to complain about—and her legs are stretched out around Momo’s. She reaches for the handheld game console from behind Momo, resting her chin on Momo’s shoulder while her hands envelop Momo’s around the device and she releases a laugh that’s half entertained and half pitying.

“Momo, you’re not even holding the controller correctly. You’re so bad at this.”

“Thank you for the wonderful words of encouragement,” Momo grumbles, assuaged somewhat when Mina presses another kiss against her jaw.

“You’re great at everything else. You had to be bad at something.”

Momo turns to her with a grumpy set of raised eyebrows. “Well, then what are you bad at? Nothing that I can see.”

Solemnly, Mina shakes her head. “I’m not good at dealing with people. I’m not as comfortable with it as everyone else is.” Her gaze settles onto Momo’s with heartbreaking sincerity. “It’s hard to face the world sometimes.”

Momo could give Mina everything, and she would still want to give her more.

“I’ll face the world for you, then.”

There’s something like amusement and appreciation coloring Mina’s understated smile, that warms Momo from the inside out, makes her want to stay in this moment forever—she wishes she could, she wishes the day was longer, she wishes they had more time. 

“Face it with me,” Mina counter-proposes after seemingly mulling this over for a second. “That would be better.”

-

It’s nighttime and Momo has Mina pressed against the door of the JYP vehicle, momentarily distracted from leaving because it’s so hard to stop kissing Mina once she starts.

“Momo…” Mina calls out faintly, between kisses.

She wishes they were on a bed; Momo is certain Mina wouldn’t be half as clothed as she is right now. “Yeah?”

“When we go back to Korea…” Mina trails off hesitantly and Momo is struck abruptly by a fear similar to the one that’s reared itself into her thoughts every time she feels as though things between them are changing, because Momo has become so used to being with Mina, to how easy it is, to how perfect it is, that she’s terrified that she’s wrapped her heart and her life around someone who'll decide that this isn't for her after all, terrified of changing anything about what they have and consequently scaring Mina away.

“We won’t tell anyone, don’t worry,” Momo rushes to reassure, hoping and hoping that this was the right thing to say to keep Mina with her.

Mina stills; Momo’s heart stills; the world stills with them. “Okay. We won’t tell anyone,” Mina agrees smoothly after the pause, leaning forward again and kissing Momo’s cheek.

-


	6. The shape of words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I attempt to set things up for the 2 alternate endings, and also accommodate all the different requests I received from the readers who were kind enough to leave comments and DM me their suggestions (which, frankly, were just "more smut" and "more fluff"). 
> 
> P.S. Does anyone remember that first GIF that inspired this entire story? Well, this is where it belonged this whole time. But please also enjoy [this one ](https://twitter.com/MiMo_xygen/status/971175721514106880/photo/1), [this one](http://abitofeverythingstrange.tumblr.com/post/151450279762/mimo-is-the-realist-bts-couple) (which I've stared at for maybe 2 or maybe 37 hours), and [this one](http://chaenqs.tumblr.com/post/142492707166/context-each-twice-member-were-given-hand-written), which I would tattoo inside my eyelids if I could.

TWICE returns to Korea the next morning, and the hectic, restless schedule they’ve been trained to inhabit kicks into full-gear—that same day, mere hours after their landing, half of the group heads to vocal training while half heads to the dance studio, all in preparation of their next album, due in two months. At the conclusion of an 18-hour work day, Momo collapses in bed after a feeble attempt to stay awake and wait for Mina to return to the dorm with Nayeon, Tzuyu, and Jihyo. She’s suspended in a space somewhere between sleep and awake, the gravity of exhaustion dragging her gradually toward unconsciousness, when she feels an instantly-recognizable weight carefully settle beside her in the darkness.

She opens her heavy-lidded eyes and takes in Mina’s slow, discreet movements as she arranges a blanket to cover her body; a clear effort to lay down without disturbing Momo.

“Hey,” she mumbles drowsily, and Mina quickly turns to her with a smile.

“Oh, I didn’t want to wake you,” Mina whispers, laying down on her side now and facing her with a weary smile of her own. This is their first night back to the dorm since their Japan tour and Momo wishes so badly she had more energy and could stay awake longer to speak to Mina more, but she can barely keep her eyes open and the familiar comfort of Mina’s presence is only drawing her more strongly towards sleep. “You look exhausted.”

“I am…” Momo almost doesn’t recognize her own voice, weighed down and made hoarse by fatigue.

Mina lays a tender hand on Momo’s cheek and Momo’s eyes flutter closed as she soaks in the affection of her touch.

“Do you still dream about me?”

At this, Momo uses what she guesses is her last bit of energy to open her eyes again and give the girl a drained smile. “How did you know that I dream about you?”

Momo likes that she can spot the brilliance of Mina’s grin even in the dark, even when she’s tired. “Before we left for Japan, sometimes I’d hear you say my name in your sleep.”

“Yeah, I do... even more now.” Mina traces a tiny circle in a spot between Momo’s temple and her ear and Momo is swept by a curiously strong hope that Mina never pulls her hand back; that some part of Mina is always warming her skin. “Do you want me to dream about you tonight?”

“Yes,” Mina replies happily, with the sort of liveliness that robs the breath from Momo. The dimness of their room doesn’t seem quite as dim anymore. “Please do.”

“Okay. I will.” Momo surrenders to sleep then with a heavy but contended sigh, and the last thing she feels is Mina lay the gentlest kiss upon Momo’s lips, so light and tender and brief that Momo isn’t quite sure whether she’s begun to dream already.

-

The next day, TWICE has dance practice all morning and then split off into separate destinations for the rest of the day; Mina is among the group that proceeds to the recording studio, while Momo and three other girls head to appointments with their hair stylist. Momo is aware that she will probably return to the dorm after Mina, and they text and exchange joking comments about their day—Momo wonders if she will ever have the courage to adopt a bangs-less hairstyle, to which Mina replies that she would look great with any haircut, in any color or length, and Momo finds herself blushing in her salon chair—and by the time she does make it back to the dorm, it’s very, very late, and everyone—including Mina—is already asleep.

Then, it’s their third day back from Japan and every TWICE member is either dozing off in their van, or drowsily eating portions of their breakfast, as they’re transported to a day-long shoot for a music video being filmed inside a forest, a sort of call-back to their _Signal_ days.

They arrive at their shooting location and settle into a routine they’re used to; being divided into groups and placed on a carefully-programmed schedule so all nine members can utilize the limited number of dressing trailers for their costume fittings and the even fewer make-up and hair stations. They step out of their van and Momo stiffens with the chilly morning air that envelops her. Even after almost 3 years, she’s awed by the complex logistics of their film-shooting days; today, she watches with fascination as the work crews busily assemble various props and sets and camera equipment for their shoot.

The first hour or so of the morning will be their only period of down-time until at least the early afternoon, so once Momo completes her costume-fitting session and realizes she has to wait behind Dahyun and Tzuyu for her turn at the hair styling station, she decides to head to the dressing room trailer wherein she deduces Mina is still changing. Her low knock summons Mina to unlock the door, and at the sight of Momo at the doorstep, the girl breaks into a delighted smile before swiftly pulling Momo inside the small, poorly-lit space, sparsely occupied by a mobile dress hanger, a simple two-person sofa, and a vanity.

“Hey, what are doing here?” a bright-eyed Mina inquires curiously after shutting the door behind her and giving Momo a quick kiss.

Outside this trailer, the world is all noise—of set pieces being hammered together and of hair dryers and filming machinery and of everything else indicative of a bustle of activity—but inside it, it’s just Mina with her surprised smile, only barely illuminated by the lamp attached to the vanity, and Momo, wondering if being the recipient of Mina’s kiss is ever going to feel different; if the nervous, excited flutter coursing through her is ever going to dull, if she is ever going to get used to it, or like it any less.

She leans against the wall beside her and appraises Mina’s half-dressed state with amusement; the shirt in her school-uniform-inspired attire is partially unbuttoned and she doesn’t appear to have made up her mind on how she’ll wear her skirt. “I have to wait for my turn after Dahyun and Tzuyu at hair and makeup, so the unnie told me to hang around for a couple of minutes. So I figured I’d help you get dressed.”

At this, Mina, whose attention is almost entirely focused on fidgeting with the placement of her skirt on her waist and hip, mumbles distractedly and with a faint smile, “I’m not sure I want your help; your wardrobe malfunction curse might rub off on me and I’ll be the one with clothes falling off next time we’re on stage.”

Although the girl isn’t going to see it because she’s still fretting with the skirt, Momo still rolls her eyes and responds sarcastically, “ha ha—you’re hilarious, Myoui.”

Mina glances up from the troublesome skirt to send her a teasing grin and Momo has to make a conscious effort to remain in place instead of taking the two steps that would close the distance between them. 

(Momo wishes she could kiss her.)

“You know, I told myself I would never complain about our outfits again after what we had to wear to our Kohaku performance,” Mina begins conversationally, tucking her shirt into the skirt and then apparently changing her mind again after disliking the fit, “but I have to admit I’m not a fan of our costumes for this shoot, either.”

“Yeah, I don’t think we’ll ever wear anything that hideous again,” Momo agrees, watching her movements with a fond smile because everything Mina does nowadays, no matter how banal, is strangely fascinating.

“What do you think of this outfit?” Mina poses, fidgeting one last time with the skirt.

Momo can’t resist wisecracking, “on or off you?” and then smirking when Mina’s cheeks brighten into a subtle blush.

“ _On_ , Momo.”

(Momo really, really wants to kiss her.)

“I think it looks amazing. Everything looks good on you,” Momo responds frankly, frowning when Mina sighs dispiritedly.

“I don’t know why I asked you; now that I think about it, you’re not really a reliable opinion.” This alarms Momo a bit, so her posture stiffens against the wall—Mina picks up on her puzzlement and adds with an explanatory shrug, “I mean, you have to say that; you’re married to me.”

Momo is intrigued by her statement, and inquires, “so does that mean you’re not a reliable person, either? If I looked terrible, you wouldn’t tell me?”

Mina’s focus has returned to her skirt as she unzips it and makes another attempt to adjust it in relation to her shirt, so she’s distracted when she replies, “I would never think you look terrible; that’s my point.”

“So I’d be like your visual in TWICE, or something,” an amused Momo prods further, genuinely curious to follow Mina’s rationale.

But then Mina—still distracted, not quite as thoughtful with her words as she usually is—fumbles with her zipper again, and mutters, “you’re already my visual, Momo.”

And then she pauses her fidgeting and winces, now thoroughly blushing, and raises her gaze to catch sight of Momo—who does not, even in the slightest, try to hide an exaggeratedly smug grin.

“My, my,” she punctuates dramatically; “what will Tzuyu say about this?” Momo purses her lips in mock disapproval, trying not to snicker when Mina sizes up Momo’s cocky smile and subsequently sighs with embarrassment and reclines back against the wall behind her.

“I can tell I’ll never hear the end of this.”

(Momo wonders how long she can keep herself from kissing Mina.)

“You know, I think I like you being cheesy. You should be cheesy more often,” Momo teases, aiming for gentle mockery but sounding much more pleased and affectionate than she intended.

(Not long, is the answer to that.)

“You do realize that dreaming about me practically every night means you already won the cheesiness competition, right?” Mina argues back, crossing her arms defiantly. Momo has a second to release an outraged gasp and to watch Mina laugh in response, before the girl brightens in realization. “Oh! It’s the lining.” She proceeds to unzip the top portion of her skirt, examining its interior while Momo tries her very best not to stare at the exposed flesh of her stomach. “Yeah, it’s definitely the lining; I think this was made for a shorter person. It fits me weird.”

Momo pushes herself off the wall and then kneels in front of Mina, investigating the skirt with earnest curiosity. “Oh, yeah; it’s sewn in weird on the bottom,” she agrees. “Can I try to fix it?” she asks; after receiving a nod from Mina, Momo maneuvers a hand under the skirt and pulls on a loose portion, in an attempt to identify a rogue piece of fabric. 

And then her hand brushes the inside of Mina’s thigh and she pauses, momentarily forgetting what, exactly, she’s supposed to be doing. The lingering morning cold seems to have completely disappeared inside the suddenly-very-warm trailer. Mina’s quiet chuckle wakes her from her daze and she glances up to meet the girl’s thoroughly entertained gaze.

“Everything okay down there?”

(Momo doesn’t think she has ever wanted to kiss Mina more.)

“I think my hand likes it here,” Momo mumbles humoredly, fingers wandering off on their own and caressing this area of her leg as they did only two days ago.

Two days ago, she studied and committed to memory all the curves and softness of her body with her fingers, her lips, and her tongue. Two days ago, Momo peppered kisses on her thigh and Mina asked her not to stop; she asked Momo to kiss her higher, again, and Momo had just learned how to do it in the way Mina likes it, so she did just that.

Mina seems to take a moment to focus back on Momo’s words, and when she replies, her voice is tinged with a breathlessness that accelerates Momo’s heart instantly. “I like your hand there, too, but we don’t have time…” Momo watches intently as Mina flushes and her breath shallows at the same time that Momo’s own hand inches a bit higher, fingertips registering an almost-imperceptible rise in temperature on her skin. “So… you’re starting something you can’t finish.”

“I don’t know…” Momo murmurs, trying to maintain her humor-leaning tone while unable to break eye contact with Mina even as her hand advances higher and her fingers trace a spot that is very, very close to where her fingers are itching to make contact. She knows Mina’s body so well now that it’s like every one of her limbs recognizes each part of Mina as though it were home. “I mean... you’re pretty quick.” She applies the lightest bit of pressure to the one place she knows Mina wants her to touch, wishing the thin fabric of her underwear wasn’t in the way, and then asks, immersed in the depth of Mina’s eyes, dark and unfocused and languidly fixed on hers, “do you want me to finish it?”

She does. Momo knows she does; she can feel the evidence, hot against her fingertips.

“Yes. A lot.”

It’s like all the air in the room rearranges itself around them at once; Momo’s breath flees from her lungs and her ensuing actions are almost automatic, as if they were ignited from a reflex. She immediately stands up, aligns her body with Mina’s, and presses forward to back Mina into sitting on the vanity behind her. And then, just as quickly, they’re a mess of clashing lips and tongues and Momo blindly fumbles to maneuver around Mina’s skirt to pull off her underwear while Mina slides her own hands under Momo’s shirt and if Momo wasn’t distracted enough by the way Mina’s kissing her—hard, wet, and urgent, biting and licking inside her mouth so thoroughly that Momo is almost dizzy—she’s _definitely_ distracted when she feels the girl’s hands grazing their way from her waist to her stomach to her ribs to her chest, only to stay there, brushing against the skin of where she’s most sensitive, already familiar with all the ways Momo can come undone and _holy crap_ , she can’t concentrate—

Immediately, Momo breaks off their breathless kissing to stammer, “I can’t—that’s really—you’re distracting me—”

Mina curves her kiss-reddened lips into a flushed smile that only makes Momo wish her mouth could also be where her hands are, and murmurs unevenly, still palming and caressing and driving her absolutely insane, “I like distracting you.”

A wild flutter she doesn’t try to control, because she’d never be able to, fuels Momo to finish pulling off her underwear. Then she lets her lips hover less than an inch from Mina’s mouth, because kissing her is a spectacular experience but right now she just really, really wants to hear it, the sound Momo knows Mina is going to make when she touches her—she wants to hear it so badly that the rhythm of her heartbeats actually falters when she does hear it, when her fingers push through and Mina releases a shaky exhale; when the soft, breathless groans become ragged breathing.

When she picks up all the signs that Mina is close—and it really is quick, as she had commented before—she notices the heat of her own body and the coiling bundle of tension low in her stomach, and acknowledges that all Mina would have to do right now is touch her, very briefly, very lightly, and Momo would be done; it’d be that fast and that easy.

Momo takes a minute to press warm, wet kisses against Mina’s throat as the girl is steadying her breathing afterwards, and then gathers an almost-impossible amount of strength to withdraw herself away from Mina, still sitting atop the vanity, and step back.

A glassy-eyed Mina blinks back some confusion, and Momo is almost in pain from wanting to go back to where she was as she swallows hard and explains huskily, “it’s been almost fifteen minutes; I should go.”

Probably performing some mental calculations of her own, Mina darts a glance at a clock Momo hadn’t noticed was hanging on the wall. And then, in a relatively simple combination of movements, she slides off the vanity, walks towards Momo, grabs her hand, and begins to pull her back towards the spartan sofa.

“I think,” Mina begins in a low voice, sitting down and motioning for Momo to join her, “that you’re going to be pretty quick, too.” Yes, she’d definitely be very, very quick—there’s not a shadow of doubt in Momo’s fevered, longing mind. “So,” and now Momo is standing over her, shirt half-unbuttoned, looking down as Mina reaches under Momo’s skirt to remove her underwear as well. “You should let me finish this, too.”

Maybe if Mina wasn’t so attractive, or Momo had more willpower, or had it in her to resist Mina in any way, she would walk away. But Mina looks like Mina and Momo feels drunk with how much she wants her, so she does not, in fact, walk away. She lets Mina pull her down onto her lap and lets her continue unbuttoning her shirt while she kisses her like she knows exactly how wound up Momo already is.

And it’s not that her brain is working particularly well—or at all, for that matter—but when Mina’s mouth travels down to her neck, a sudden thought occurs to her and she expresses it in a breathy mumble; “I can’t believe we’re doing this in a dressing trailer and we haven’t even done it in our own bed yet.”

“Well,” Mina licks a spot under her jaw, right beside her ear, and Momo has to grip the sofa’s backrest to steady herself, “it’s not like I could do this to you in the dorm—everyone would hear you.”

Again, her brain is not working that well, but it does register this statement, and it prompts Momo to respond automatically, “eh? Why would they hear us?”

Mina actually pulls back now, watching her with an unhidden glint of amusement. “Were you not listening to yourself in Japan? You’re, um, not a quiet person.”

Lust momentarily set aside, Momo argues back with a surprised frown, “I wasn’t loud.” Well, she has to reconsider the absoluteness of that statement. She corrects with a minor waver in her voice, “except for that one time you did that thing with your tongue—but besides that, I’m not loud… am I?”

Mina clearly wants to laugh at her rebuttal and the sight of her biting back a grin sends a fond ache through Momo’s chest, to reinforce the persistent ache between her legs—and the fact that her feelings for Mina only make her want her more is still something that catches her off-guard. “You’re not loud, per se, but we should definitely work on your volume if this is something we want to do in the dorm.” And then she does laugh when Momo’s frown deepens. “I’ve never seen anyone so shocked by an obvious fact before.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.” 

“Do you want to test that out?”

The question is posed with a teasing, joking sort of tone, even as she taps her fingers in a feathery touch on her thigh, and Momo is swept by a wave of desire so strong it almost blurs her vision.

All she does is nod, and then Mina leans forward to kiss her chest—and how did she not notice that straddling her in this way really places them in the ideal height for this—while simultaneously slipping inside her, and yes, this is perfect, this is her drug, this so good, so good, so good, so good—

Immediately, she slaps a hand over her mouth when it hits her that she just released, in a harsh and moderately loud groan, a curse word in Japanese that would have offended a sailor.

“Yeah, that went well,” Mina quips dryly, and Momo is flushed all over from a sex-induced fever but also from a little bit of embarrassment, worsened when the girl adds with a small laugh, “and I didn’t even do anything.”

Momo rolls her eyes with a mix of indignation and annoyance when she retorts, “considering what your mouth was doing and where your hand still is,” and she makes sure she shoots a very pointed glare at where her fingers disappear inside her, “I’d say you did do _something_.”

“Oh, you mean this?” And then she feels the curving motion inside her and pushing exactly where she likes it, and has to swallow down a groan threatening to emerge from the back of her throat. This is going to be so hard to control; she’s not sure she can do it. “It’s okay, Momo.” Mina’s fingers and mouth pick up right where they left off and Momo wonders if she’s going to pass out. “You can be loud here. Just let go.”

So Momo does.

-

They’re at a fan-meeting event two days later, and during a 15-minute interval in between fan groups, Mina approaches Momo to share sushi rolls. The other girls are filling their own plates from an assortment of foods from their catering staff, but the two find a seat backstage and Mina watches on affectionately as Momo proceeds to practically devour her first roll.

“Did you get anything cool?” Momo asks, having just swallowed down a particularly large piece of her roll.

“There’s this one penguin plush I got,” Mina replies with a content smile that Momo doesn’t immediately understand, because that’s what her fans usually give her—stuffed penguins, swans, and minions; “the Once who gave it to me actually drew all my moles on the penguin’s face. It looks cute.”

Her response leaps out of her before she actually processes it, and it’s fueled in part by a tiny bit of jealousy that bubbles inside her, but primarily by an impulse to joke and tease Mina, as she usually does: “if only your fans knew where else you have moles.” 

Her words are accompanied by an exaggerated glance down the girl’s body and a suggestive wink, and Mina laughs immediately, nudging Momo’s foot with her own. 

“Really, Momo? Do you think about anything else?”

She likes this so much; she enjoys bantering with Mina so enormously that she thinks she could do this all day.

“You say that, but I wasn’t the one who asked me to ‘finish it’ in a dressing trailer two days ago,” Momo argues, raising her eyebrows self-assuredly.

“And you say that,” Mina replies with confident ease, “but I didn’t hear you complaining when we were in that trailer.” Momo’s mouth instantly dries and her chopsticks hang limply from her hand. “I heard… other things. Definitely not any complaints, though.”

Involuntarily, Momo’s eyes dart down to the girl’s mouth, such is the strength of her impulse to kiss her.

Instead, she shoots back with mock scandal, “Myoui Mina, are you really flirting with me in the middle of a fan-meet?”

“Well, I can’t flirt with anyone else,” Mina chuckles back, crinkling smile bright and lovely; “I’m married.”

Momo sometimes imagines what her heart must look like from the inside; whether it looks like a room, and if so, whether there are pictures of Mina everywhere—smiling, laughing, dancing, pouting—and whether the room smells like her perfume, and whether Mina has left any space for anything or anyone else.

“Well, you don’t need to flirt with me,” Momo responds, consumed by a momentary weakness that she hides underneath a crooked smile, the one she would wear if this was a joke. (It’s not.) “I’m yours already.”

Mina plucks a sushi roll from Momo’s plate with a haughty grin and Momo knows she’s going to kiss her all over as soon as she gets the chance. “Good. I’m yours, too.”

-

They have sex again in another trailer, during another music video shoot, and then a day later inside one of the JYPE vans parked at a secluded corner of their garage. And Momo laughs each time because Mina is making earnest attempts to coach her through having better control of her sounds so they can do this in the dorm, approaching this as though they were practicing for a performance.

“That was so much better, Momo; just remember to breathe when you’re feeling like you’re almost there—”

And each time Momo interrupts her with kisses and wonders if Mina has any idea that all the love songs in the world were written for her.

-

Whenever Momo allows herself to truly reflect on what she has with Mina, there’s always one fact that stands out most prominently in her mind: how differently they present their relationship to the world.

There’s what the public sees of them, which, despite the entire purpose of their contractual agreement—to avoid outrage over their accidental marriage—turns out to be very, very little, as the company’s legal advisors have emphasized the importance of maintaining comprehensive control of their image. She and Mina never venture out of the dorm together (because candid photos of them are so sought-after and expensive that every JYPE building is continuously surrounded by paparazzi), and no special adjustments are made in their music videos, photo shoots, or performances; they sing and dance separately and their on-stage interactions occur no more frequently than the ones they have with other members.

The only time, in fact, that they ever interact within the view of the public is during their sporadic variety show appearances. During one particular instance, the members are made to participate in a game that designates five of them (Momo, Nayeon, Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun) to be a useful tool (Momo draws the “fishing rod” card, and when she peeks at Chaeyoung’s card, she reads “computer”) while the remaining four of them (Jeongyeon, Mina, Sana, and Tzuyu) are sorted into assorted locations, and must pick the tool that will best help them survive random scenarios. Mina’s card places her in a desert, and even though everyone expects her to select Jihyo (“water canteen”), she ends up picking Momo, which outrages Jeongyeon, who was placed in a deserted tropical island.

“Mina! What do you need a fishing rod in a desert for?” she exclaims indignantly, much to everyone else’s laughter and causing Mina to flush and hide her face behind Tzuyu’s shoulder.

Mina’s choice causes a disastrous chain reaction, in which no one actually selects the tool that would best fit their location—Sana, for an example, whose card placed her in a spaceship, chooses Dahyun, whose tool is a bicycle, and a still-aggrieved Jeongyeon picks Chaeyoung (“seriously? Are you plugging in your computer into a coconut tree?” asks a thoroughly-diverted Nayeon).

Just as they are beginning the first round of the game, Momo recalls that Mina is probably the most competitive of the members, and in choosing a completely useless tool for her location, has effectively accepted her likely defeat, but still picked her anyway. This realization shouldn’t affect her this much, but it does; Momo feels the muscles of her heart contract with a pleasant sort of discomfort, and she turns to Mina beside her and comments lightly, “you know you’re going to lose, right?”

And the contracting becomes even worse when Mina grins back with quiet self-deprecation. “Yeah, I know.”

(They do lose, but no one else wins, either.)

There’s also what the other members of TWICE see: they have dance practices and Momo perhaps takes an extra second to let go of Mina’s hand when their choreography calls for physical contact and maybe Mina smiles a little wider when Momo is teaching the other girls a new sequence, and maybe nowadays Mina absolutely refuses to kill Momo when they’re playing Mafia, and maybe Momo always buys yarn and all of Mina’s favorite snacks when she shops for groceries with Jeongyeon and Nayeon. But Mina still knits with Jihyo and Momo is still competing against Dahyun to see how long they can rearrange Nayeon’s make-up and masks inside her private fridge before she notices, and Mina still naps with Sana and watches movies with Tzuyu, and Momo still streams V-Lives with Chaeyoung, and in a grander scheme, far more has remained the same than changed.

And then there are things no one sees. No one sees Mina and Momo brushing their teeth together at night and Mina flicking water at Momo and Momo turning this into a joke about the other ways they could make each other wet if only Mina didn’t care so much about the others hearing them, and Mina blushing so severely that Momo bursts into laughter. No one sees Momo disregarding the toothpaste suds around her mouth to kiss Mina’s cheek and then laughing even harder when Mina wipes the toothpaste foam off her cheek with a scowl. No one sees their lazy, tired kisses before they go to sleep, and no one sees them waking up with limbs entwined and their bodies half on top of one another.

(Momo is used to undergoing all 5 stages of grief every morning they have to wake up before the sunrise, but now when she wakes it’s Mina she sees first, and it’s Mina she gets to kiss, and it’s Mina who throws a pillow at her when she teases her about hogging the covers, and it’s Mina she shares her breakfast with, so it’s because of Mina that Momo no longer hates mornings.)

-

TWICE has recorded ten songs for their new comeback—six of which are anticipated to make it into the actual album, and of which four have their own exhaustively-rehearsed choreographies—and it’s when the girls learn that they finally have a day off that Momo carries out her plan.

She convinces Nayeon, Jihyo, Sana, and Dahyun to go shopping (“I mean, it’s almost summer and we barely have any new clothes”), talks Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu into going to the movie theater (“I hear it’s a really good superhero movie—it’s got like 90% positive reviews”) and after everyone has left, she victoriously makes her way to the room she shares with Mina, who’s comfortably sitting on their bed, absorbed in a handheld game console while her headphones isolate her from the rest of the world.

That is, until she catches sight of Momo at the doorway; she lowers her headphones onto her shoulders and her gaming device onto her lap and sends Momo a simple smile that stirs something deep inside Momo, like her stomach and heart are tangling themselves together into a pleasantly-aching knot.

Wordlessly, she climbs onto the bed and kisses Mina, almost laughing when the girl immediately breaks it off with alarm.

“Momo—oh my God—the door is wide open,” she whispers, panicked.

“No one’s in the dorm,” Momo informs happily. “It’s just us.”

“What do you mean?”

Momo lays onto her back idly, gaze fixed on a ceiling that has been decorated with various posters and promotional images of TWICE, and casually begins to list where every other member has headed for the afternoon. And then Mina emerges into her field of vision, face framed by her curtained hair and the backdrop of the band’s pictures, donning a knowing, blushing smile, and Momo is torn between kissing all her moles again and high-fiving herself with satisfaction.

“You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” she drawls out with a coy shrug. “I remember someone saying something about how I’m too loud and she doesn’t want to do anything with me in our own room—”

Mina cuts her off with a kiss that she soon has to pull back from when she smiles too widely. “You are loud.” She positions herself on top of Momo and begins to scatter soft kisses on her face. “But,” (kiss) “I,” (kiss) “like you,” (kiss) “loud.”

“Come back here, please,” Momo sighs, and then Mina angles herself just so to kiss her in earnest, and her brain quickly unravels from there, all thoughts dissipating but one: a very faint, barely-there consideration that floats briefly in Momo’s head—that it hasn’t been that long. That they had sex yesterday, as a matter of fact, inside one of the TWICE vans in the garage when everyone was asleep. That she shouldn’t be this tightly-coiled, that she shouldn’t be wanting this so much, that maybe it should alarm her how completely Mina has hardwired her body to crave her, to need her kiss and her touch and her warmth, and that maybe it should concern her how things never get less exciting, that her heart never flutters any less intensely; that in fact, it’s the familiarity that intoxicates her, of knowing so well what Mina likes and enjoying that Mina knows her equally well, which means this is never going to wear off, and that the more they do this, the more she’s going to want Mina, exactly as she does right now. 

That realization, compounded with the fact that it’s the first time, ever, that they’re doing this in their own bed (and some well-concealed corner of Momo’s mind has been dwelling on the idea for a while—imagining it, daydreaming about it, fantasizing about it)—that combination might be why things escalate so quickly after clothes are discarded and Mina’s leg nudges her wider and her hand reaches down to slide inside her. They’re kissing but the contact is so immediately overwhelming that it instantly knocks the air from her, like an electrical current is shooting from her spine up and out to her extremities. The aching bundle low in her belly tightens and her heart seems to trip inside her, and she almost can’t take it, almost can’t handle the way it feels. Momo has to break off the kiss in an attempt to gather some semblance of control over lungs that are working at a very frantic rhythm and ends up stammering out almost as an apology that she’s faintly aware she doesn’t need, “I’m, um… this isn’t… going to last long.”

Mina had diverted her mouth from Momo’s lips to Momo’s collarbone but now she focuses on her neck, and with a very light chuckle she murmurs into her ear, “I know; I can tell.” The kissing becomes sucking and Momo’s brain feels fried, but she makes an honest attempt to steady her body.

That is, until the sucking moves from her neck down to her chest and then to her stomach and then to where her hand already is, and the moment she feels her tongue down there she has to close her eyes in a last-ditch bid to pace her breathing and maybe delay this a little bit because she knows she’ll enjoy the end but she’s really, really enjoying getting there, but she can tell it’s not going to work because she’s already much too close, so this is going to last even less than she had originally thought it would; she’s almost there; it’s really not going to take much, it really isn’t…

Her malfunctioning lungs work even more poorly and she grabs a fistful of the bedsheets and vaguely wonders whether she’s literally coming apart at the seams, whether her limbs haven’t just flown off her body, and is almost sure that this is the closest she’s ever gotten to actually blacking out.

When she blinks her eyes open, Mina has finished pressing a trail of kisses back up her body and is watching Momo with ill-hidden amusement, lips twitching into an almost-grin.

“You were not kidding about not lasting long,” she remarks laughingly, and Momo would smack her with her arm if she could raise it.

“I’m glad you can be smug about this,” she resorts to retorting instead, breath still not completely recovered.

And then it’s in part because they have time, and in part because this can serve as a kind of revenge for making fun of Momo’s, um, _speed_ a minute earlier, that Momo kisses and touches Mina in every corner of her body, except the one place she wants. She bites Mina’s neck and licks inside her mouth and spends a very long time on her chest and lets her hands roam the length of her body and makes mental notes of how rapidly Mina’s breath shallows, how hard she has to keep from being loud even though she could be, and when Momo slowly licks the inside of her thigh and Mina holds her breath, only for Momo to stop just short of going where Mina wants her to go, she hears Mina release an impatient groan that sounds a little pained, and has to purse her lips to stifle a laugh.

Mina glares down in her direction, catches her entertained grin, and shoots her a glower that prompts Momo to let out a chortle and flippantly rest her cheek against the inner side of her leg.

“Are you enjoying torturing me?”

“Yes,” Momo responds cheerfully, “very much, actually.” 

Mina rolls her eyes and deadpans, “I should hit you with my knee.” When Momo grins even wider in response and lays a kiss on the aforementioned knee, she adds dryly, “you know, if I had done this to you, I think you would’ve cried and called me mean.”

It shouldn’t be endearing, Mina complaining about Momo delaying things. It shouldn’t make her ache for her so much, shouldn’t make her wonder if Mina feels the same way for Momo as Momo feels for her. But it does.

Momo climbs back up to face Mina, keeping one hand tracing slow circles on a spot right between Mina’s thigh and her hip. She doesn’t think she will ever be this close to Mina’s face without wanting to kiss her, so she leans down and presses her lips against hers, and she wants Mina to gasp into her mouth like she did last time, so she slips inside her and gets to hear it muffled against her lips.

“Is that what you think?” Momo asks quietly after pulling back, smiling as she watches Mina flushing and panting, struggling to maintain eye contact with Momo. “You think I’m mean?”

Mina is squirming underneath her and Momo swears she can feel the pounding of her heart—she’s overcome by an illogical wish to taste the throb of Mina’s pulse, so she bends down to kiss the shivering skin above her jugular, and then Mina answers her in a breathless murmur.

“No… I think you’re perfect.”

In the second that follows that statement, Momo replays the sound of it in her mind a thousand times. The words are carved on her insides and she feels her heart beat strangely inside her, like it’s shaking inside her chest.

There’s a heady happiness that rushes through her bloodstream in that moment that makes a very, very tiny part of Momo panic. It makes her want to try to pull back the corners of her feelings, to contain their vastness. It makes something inside her whisper into existence a fear that bounces from one edge of her heart to the other and that makes her look at Mina and think for a millisecond about how thoroughly Mina could hurt her if she wanted to. But she never does and she never would; there are so few things Momo is certain of in the world, and this is one of them.

This feeling… Momo hopes it stays with her forever; she never wants it to go away.

“I think you’re perfect, too,” Momo tells her, and then she kisses her jaw and whispers into her ear, over and over again until Mina feels what Momo wanted her to feel, she repeats it because it’s such a clear, obvious truth; she can’t believe she’s never said it before. “You’re perfect, Mina; you’re so, so perfect.”

-

When the girls come back from their respective locations, Mina is asleep and Momo is in the kitchen, contently slurping a cup of noodles she just prepared, a small part of her scalp throbbing in a most pleasant way from Mina’s gentle hair-pulling in the last thirty minutes before everyone’s return. 

(Momo actually managed to successfully contain her noise the second time, which means they can now have sex on their own bed, and Momo wants to light up the nighttime sky with fireworks to celebrate that.)

“Where’s Mina?” Nayeon inquires as all the other girls scatter about the dorm.

Momo swallows quickly to respond, “she’s sleeping.”

Nayeon’s smirk is a harbinger of terrible news, and Momo stiffens in anticipation of the impending comment. “She must be very worn out.” Momo almost chokes on air. “From playing all those video games, of course.”

“Yeah,” Momo rushes to agree, face aflame with embarrassment. Shit—does Nayeon know? No one knows, right? How can anyone know? “She did play a lot of video games while you guys were out.”

“Oh, I bet she did.” With that, Nayeon winks mischievously and walks away.

-

It’s early March and they’ve just completed two exhausting back-to-back international promotions, and even though everyone is drained when they return to the dorm from the airport late one afternoon, half of TWICE (among which is Momo) gather around the living room TV; they’ve been following a drama whose penultimate episode is airing tonight and have been avidly discussing potential finale plot twists. 

Momo catches sight of Mina heading to their room from the kitchen just as a commercial break is starting, so she leaps off the couch upon which she’s squeezed between Sana and Jeongyeon, and heads in Mina’s direction.

Mina smiles automatically when Momo approaches her in the hallway, commenting with gentle disapproval, “you haven’t even taken your make-up off, have you?” Before Momo can reply, she swiftly retrieves a make-up removing wipe from the bathroom. “Do you want me to take it off?”

Momo nods with gratitude and tries to justify her lapse in their beauty regimen; “it’s a really good story.” As Mina meticulously brushes the fabric against her skin, an enamored Momo makes note of her small frown of concentration. “You’re really caring and thoughtful, did you know?” Mina darts her eyes to hers and cracks a small smile, already expecting the joke that is coming. “Your aegyo needs some work, but you’d make a great wife.” Her smile blooms into a chuckle, spreading an excited flutter inside Momo. “Someone should marry you,” Momo continues with a grin.

“Someone has. Even with the awful aegyo,” Mina responds, her low words still lively and bright. “Okay, close your eyes.”

Momo complies and finds that in the self-imposed darkness, all of her other senses heighten and focus on Mina even more sharply. She feels acutely the delicate warmth of her touch, is enveloped by the scent of her perfume, and finds her mind filled by the softness of her voice. “I’ll try to be quick so you don’t miss too much of the drama.”

And Momo wants to reassure her that it’s fine, that this is so much better, that she could stay like this for twenty years and she wouldn’t feel the time passing. But instead she prods on with their shared joke, because this is also good; she likes this just as much.

“You can tell whoever you married that they’re a lucky person,” Momo remarks as Mina brushes the wipe on her eyelid.

“Actually, you can tell her yourself.”

The fact that Mina so willingly and easily lets herself be carried by their jokes nowadays—it enraptures Momo so thoroughly that she can’t breathe sometimes.

“Oh, I know her?”

“Yeah, you do,” Mina adds playfully, grabbing Momo by the heartstrings as she turns her efforts to the other eyelid. “She’s… annoying and goofy.” Mina laughs the second Momo releases a sullen scoff. “But also really nice, funny, and really attractive.”

That last part piques Momo’s attention. “She’s attractive, huh? Might she even be your visual in TWICE?”

Momo doesn’t even need to open her eyes to know Mina is rolling her own in her usual lighthearted displeasure. 

“Yes, and she loves pointing that out. But even her abs have an entire fan club. Okay, open.” Momo obeys and isn’t quite prepared for the sight that welcomes her. She should be used by now to looking at Mina’s face. She should be used to the moles, to the tender eyes, to the heart-stilling smile. But as this breathless moment reminds her, she’s really, really not.

“Are you part of that fan club?” Momo asks, much more quietly than she intended.

“I’m the president of that fan club,” Mina grins charmingly.

The heartstrings Mina was tugging on earlier—she’s wrapped them around herself, Momo concludes. That’s why there’s nothing in Momo that tempts her to step away from Mina, only to step closer, even when she can’t because they’re standing in the middle of a hallway in the dorm.

“Momo, the commercials are over!” Sana’s voice announces helpfully from the living room.

“Go watch your drama,” Mina nudges softly, and maybe she knows Momo doesn’t want to, by the way she’s smiling like Momo isn’t going anywhere.

“I don’t want to,” Momo states truthfully. “I want to go to bed with you.”

Yes, Mina knows. She always knows. “Go watch your drama and I’ll go knit with Jihyo for a bit because I promised her, and then we’ll go to bed.”

“That’s a long time to wait.” Her low protest is almost like a whine and if she weren’t addressing Mina, she’d hate herself for this utter disregard for her own dignity.

But Mina discreetly grabs her pinky finger for a brief second and tells her, “I’ll make it worth the wait,” and Momo is fine not having any dignity; who needs dignity anyway; certainly not her.

(Mina does, indeed, make it worth the wait.)

-

A week later, a monotone Jihyo is reading their briefing for the award show they’re attending that night, and after an obligatory wake-up time of 5am and a full morning of rehearsals, everyone is barely a step above comatose—Momo almost dozes off once, head dipping onto Mina’s shoulder, and Mina has to nudge her awake—but one note grabs their attention.

“Wait—no seating restriction?” a frowning Nayeon asks.

“That’s what it says,” Jihyo confirms with a nod, turning—along with everyone else—to Momo and Mina.

Occasionally, their management has mandated certain seating restrictions for their public appearances. When Tzuyu was facing intense scrutiny over her nationality, for an example, she was prohibited from seating anywhere near a flag, to prevent snarky netizens from photoshopping another scandal into global headlines. Likewise, during Mina’s troubled period after her picture with BamBam, TWICE was always placed in whatever table was farthest away from GOT7. Since Mina and Momo’s marriage arrangement, the group’s sole seating restriction has been simple; that Mina and Momo can sit closely but not immediately next to one another. And this is why the absence of a restriction is a surprise, and the reason every girl is watching them.

When they’re alone in their bedroom, preparing to take a short nap before all the girls have to meet with TWICE’s stylists, Momo locks the door behind her with apprehension as she notices a tiny flash of worry in Mina’s eyes. It’s as if the proverbial lamp is switched on inside her head—if they do sit together or pose together, everyone will want to photograph them; everyone will be paying attention. And this is exactly the kind of scrutiny that Mina doesn’t handle particularly well. It’s hard for her to face the world but Momo promised she’d face it with her.

“If it’s going to be too much,” Momo begins, awkwardly searching for the right words to convey what she wants to say, trying to express herself in a way that won’t disconcert Mina, “if the attention will be too much, we don’t have to do anything together—”

“It’s okay,” Mina assures immediately, clear-eyed and sure. “I want to.”

Momo sits down beside her on their bed and studies her for a second, wondering if Mina will change her mind once they step out of their transport vehicle side-by-side and every photographer in Korea is trying to capture a shot of them together.

“But if you flirt with me at the photo call and make me blush,” Mina asserts with a raised eyebrow, “I’m going to punch you.”

Grinning, Momo gently pushes Mina onto her back to straddle her, and gazes down with a cheerfulness she doesn’t try to hide, because some part of her was genuinely sad Mina wouldn’t want to be seen with her, but that’s not the case. “You can’t be violent with me, you know—spousal battery is a crime.”

Mina’s smile makes her forget she was ever worried in the first place.

“Fine,” the girl affirms, shifting into solemnity. “No sex, then.”

The appalled gasp Momo releases is half legitimate (rooted in panic), and half exaggerated (rooted in a wish to make Mina laugh—and that works). “For how long?!” 

It’s probably when she notices how aghast Momo is that Mina actually ponders on her threat—she bites a corner of her lip, apparently unsure of the firmness of her own statement.

“Um… five… days…?”

Her tone is so tentative and her wince so pronounced that Momo laughs, bending down to press a quick kiss on her lips before reassuming her bantering posture.

“You couldn’t last two.”

It’s Mina’s turn to gasp. “I totally could.”

And because it’s easy and it’d be nice to prove her point so quickly, Momo shifts so that she’s propped over Mina and her knee is very strategically placed between Mina’s legs, applying the amount of pressure that Momo is certain will make the girl concede.

Mina’s jaw immediately drops with shock. “You’re awful.”

“I thought I was perfect,” Momo quips back smartly, laughing again and sliding a hand under the hem of Mina’s shirt to skim her ribs.

“You are perfect, and you’re also awful,” Mina amends easily, automatically reaching for the waistband of Momo’s shorts. “How about I sneak cucumbers into your food when you aren’t looking?”

Momo is pulling off Mina’s shirt as she responds with mock indignation, “you wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” Mina declares with a confident nod, tugging down Momo’s underwear.

“Okay, okay,” Momo surrenders after Mina sits up and Momo finds herself comfortably sitting between her legs, stomach and heart twisting and lurching with elation. “I won’t flirt with you… too much.”

-

They attend that [awards show](https://twitter.com/hiraidotjpg/status/963860580871344128/photo/1) and a couple of others after that, and Momo tries each time not to gravitate too strongly towards Mina, who is always uneasy but always remains composed at the photo call even when the blinding flashes prickle their vision and the calls for attention are so persistent that they become anxiety-inducing. Momo [distracts Mina](https://twitter.com/PLANET1109/status/951536070163927040/photo/1) each time and mumbles jokes under her breath to make her laugh and they exchange [shy smiles](https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/951632049701441536/photo/1) and she’s almost embarrassed by how consistently and intently she wants to stare at Mina. This isn’t Momo as she’s always projected herself to be, as JYPE has reinforced through each of their concepts; Momo has always been presented as a self-possessed femme fatale, and now whenever she’s with Mina she’s sort of melting and swooning, and she’s so glad everyone thinks their marriage is real, because at least that provides her with an excuse for acting so [uncharacteristically bashful](https://twitter.com/chaengsthetic/status/951479613175169024/photo/1).

Her attempts to ease Mina’s nervous tension always work, thankfully. By the time the photo calls are wrapped and they’re inside the actual venue, Mina is always calmer and easy-going and Momo enjoys talking to Mina so much she forgets a couple of times that they’re in public. She doesn’t notice the people around them when Mina discusses her predictions for the award winners, or when she’s falling asleep and Mina [tugs on her arm](https://twitter.com/cpsjusuf/status/970162001824571392/photo/1) to wake her, or when a [flower arrangement](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/965551057848868864/photo/1) reminds her of Mina’s perfume, or when they’re bored and spell each other’s names with [confetti](https://78.media.tumblr.com/004fab447e549232f652d76460852ccf/tumblr_p4glicnXL21rsfpwlo6_400.gif). It’s hard to remember that other people exist, that other people might be watching—it’s hard to look at anyone else. 

Each time, the totality of everything surrounding her—the fact that they’re at an awards show, that they’re record-breaking artists, that she’s in a band with girls she’s grown so close to—it all reminds her that Mina was always, first and foremost, her friend. That they’ve been journeying down the same path as members of TWICE for most of the years that formed her, and now they’re [receiving trophies](https://78.media.tumblr.com/0d728529f79196d6c9fb885073c388ff/tumblr_p4glicnXL21rsfpwlo8_400.gif) and she gets to gently squeeze her hand under the table. Each time, she’s flooded by a sudden rush of appreciation that she’s sharing these moments with Mina, and she wants this forever; she wants Mina forever.

-

An hour before their performance for the JYP Showcase (an event composed solely of dancing and singing acts from the label's artists and groups), Momo and Mina are provided last-minute instructions on their cues and positioning, and there’s some nervousness they share but they’ve rehearsed every detail of their routine so painstakingly that Momo finds herself impatient to begin, to perform, and to be done. Mina is the worrier, of course—Momo can tell she’s incessantly playing and replaying each of their movements in her mind.

While they wait for the show’s commencement, they’re guided to a bench in a backstage lounge sparsely occupied by stage crews and a few other JYPE musical acts, and from where they can still hear the faint roar of a cheering audience packed into the crowded venue. Momo fidgets in her closely-fitted costume and watches Mina adjusting her collar idly.

“Do you want me to fix your dress?” Momo queries helpfully, melting into a laugh when Mina throws her a skeptical look that immediately reminds her of what happened last time Momo made a similar offer. “I honestly just meant that I’d literally fix your dress. Not… do anything else.”

Mina scoots closer to her on the bench and angles her neck to allow Momo better access to the area. Then, as Momo is carefully arranging the fabric of her outfit—while making her most whole-hearted effort to restrain from brushing her fingers against her skin—the girl observes with a faint smile, “do you think you’ll ever get used to doing all this?”

“To performing like we’re doing tonight?” Momo questions back, concentrated still on Mina’s collar but intrigued nonetheless. “Sort of, but I think I’ll always be nervous.”

Mina nods minutely in agreement, then adds quietly, “do you ever wonder what you’ll be doing in the future?”

“How far in the future?” is what Momo asks instantly, because there’s a joke she needs to tell about what she plans on doing to Mina when they get back to the dorm tonight.

Her thoughts are apparently broadcast wordlessly, because Mina blushes lightly and places her hand on Momo’s knee as though to maintain some physical contact.

“Not that soon. I mean like, five years from now, or ten years from now, if TWICE isn’t still together—what do you see yourself doing?”

Momo lowers her hand from Mina’s collar, examining the question and contemplating her answer. There’s a weak, distant rumble of applause that surrounds them to announce that they’re one act closer to their turn, but their corner of the backstage lounge is mostly silent.

She blurts out her answer without much thought, because even though she’s never quite reflected on life post-TWICE career, this feels like an easy question. “I think we’d have our own studio, maybe; like a ballet and k-pop hybrid dance studio, you know?”

Mina registers the smallest of smiles; just a twitch of her lips. Momo would usually attempt to read it, or to utter some joking comment that will draw a larger smile. “You don’t think we could do it?” she asks instead, curiously.

“That’s how you see your future?” Mina poses again, so softly that Momo wants to frown—Mina is so smart that Momo wonders if the market for dance studios is bad, or if there’s some logistical concern she should be considering.

She tries to imagine an alternate path for her life; strains to picture doing anything that doesn’t involve dance. “I guess we could also go to school for something super complicated and I could copy your notes and homework, and we’d graduate and be CEOs.”

Momo expects Mina to shoot back some snarky comment about not letting Momo cheat off her or a smart-aleck quip about being so filthy rich that she doesn’t actually need to work. But instead, Mina watches her for a long, languid set of seconds, looking at something inside Momo that Momo doesn’t understand and can’t really piece together, but this stretched-out patch of time makes her sway on her seat.

There’s something Momo hasn’t devoted too much time to dissecting, which is that she can sort of divide her life into a before-and-after of answering Mina’s FaceTime call from that park in Japan last month, of realizing that her feelings for Mina had grown into something of ocean-like proportions inside which she had wanted so badly to lose herself and never find her way out. 

She ponders in some lonesome edge of her mind that it might be stupidity on her part, to be actively thinking of how maybe Mina is going to break her heart, but giving her heart to her anyway. But they’ve built this world between them and around them, and Momo thinks she’s been inside of this world for what feels like so long that now she’s not sure she could ever survive outside of it. Right now, as she recognizes this feeling, she also remembers all those moments Mina smiled at her or kissed her, and how hard it is to imagine any length of time in which she isn’t doing those things.

And then she sees it right in front of her, so abundantly clear, the shape of the words she wants to say.

Out of the corner of her eye, Momo spots the lead JYPE crewmember motioning for them to line up—she and Mina are next.

“You’re going to be amazing, like always,” Mina states firmly, without any shadow of doubt; she’s already stood up and Momo is mildly surprised that she’s so delayed in noticing this.

“You’re going to be amazing too, and it’ll be fun,” Momo assures back to her, setting aside her last musings to focus on their performance.

The words are there. She just needs to say them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update will be the 2 endings and an epilogue because even though I had planned for this story to have 4 chapters, I always secretly meant to write twice that many -_-
> 
> Thank you for your patience and your support, as always. And a special shout-out to my Squirrel :)


	7. Love is...

Mina’s birthday is in a week.

That’s Momo’s first thought after they step off the stage and a gravity-like force pulls her immediately inside Mina’s excited, congratulatory arms amidst the thundering applause from the JYP Showcase audience. 

The members have become accustomed to almost never spending their birthdays with their families, and some of them have spent birthdays overseas; none of them thus far, however, have spent it in a continent on the other side of the planet, so Momo knows that Mina’s birthday will be somewhat different than what they’re used to. And it occurs to Momo now that through their overloaded schedule in preparation for the release of _What is Love?_ and its subsequent promotional tour, she hasn’t had time to plan anything for Mina. 

“You were so great, Momo.” In the effort to speak over the commotion, Mina is more or less shouting—and by that, Momo means she’s speaking in a completely normal volume for a regular person, which is loud for her—and Momo squeezes her a little tighter inside their hug and presses the briefest, subtlest kiss against her cheek, then asks as soon as they’ve parted, “hey, do you want to do anything for your birthday next week?”

The stage assistants hand them their respective bags and backpacks, inside which are their gowns for the remainder of the event, while the makeup supervisors complete a minute-long touch-up. Then, Momo pulls on Mina’s sleeve to guide them toward the dressing rooms.

“Well, we’re going to be in Chile,” Mina reminds mildly and with an intrigued smile as they begin their walk. The realization that Mina has been honestly assuming the other members wouldn’t do anything significant for her birthday because they’d be overseas performing on a minutely-packed schedule sends a small pang through her chest.

Trying her best to seem nonchalant, Momo shrugs and replies, “yeah, but we can still do something, if you want. We could even have a party—hey, what’s the drinking age in Chile?”

This draws an entertained laugh from Mina, who reaches out to give Momo’s sleeve an endeared tug. “No, I can’t get drunk again. Last time I was drunk, I got married.”

They’ve reached their respective dressing rooms, and the half of Momo that starts missing Mina the moment the girl is out of her sight is emboldened by her mischievous leanings and tempted to enter Mina’s dressing room. The other half of Momo is about as rule-abiding as Mina, and that’s the one that is pushing her to enter her own dressing room. Momo takes one second to weigh her options, and steps forward.

-

[Choice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494864/chapters/33297162)

[Timing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494864/chapters/33297759)


	8. ...choice

Momo begins to think a lot about choice.

-

Momo opens her designated dressing room door and throws Mina a last wink that makes the girl laugh before she heads inside her own dressing room.

“Wait—Mitang!” Momo calls out, and a curious Mina pokes her head outside the door. “You’re going to tell me what you want for your birthday, right?”

Mina winks back; it’s the usual not-quite-successful one that she’s been practicing, and it makes Momo’s heart throb with affection inside her chest. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

-

It’s been so long since they’ve been contacted by JYPE’s media relations team that when Mina and Momo are snatched from sleep by the distinct alarm tone indicative of a JYPE Headquarters text blast the next morning, the two exchange bleary looks of confusion. Drowsily, Mina reaches across Momo to grab her phone just as a sulky Momo gripes, “I thought our wake-up time today was 9am, not... whatever hour in the middle of the night it is right now.”

“It’s 5am,” Mina mumbles back after a preliminary inspection of her phone, and Momo scoots closer to her in order to bury her face on the crook of her neck and be submerged in the comforting smell of Mina’s hair and skin. 

“We’ve literally slept 3 hours,” Momo grumbles against her skin.

“Oh, the blast is just for us two... it’s telling us to report to Headquarters at 6:30am. I wonder why it’s just us...”

Momo grunts non-committedly, and plants an absentminded kiss on Mina’s jaw.

“I guess we can still nap for about a half hour, if you want,” Mina notes softly, angling her head slightly and facilitating the current trail of Momo’s mouth up and down the length of her jaw. “Or I can go make us breakfast and then wake you up and we can eat and then leave.”

There’s a unique kind of misery Momo associates with lack of sleep, and it threatens to hit her full-force in this moment. Likely sensing this, Mina positions herself to lay on top of Momo; their bodies quite automatically adjust around the other’s shape and Momo sighs, slightly less aggravated now.

“It’ll probably be quick,” Mina assures, looking down on Momo with a small, understanding smile. “And then we can come back and sleep more.”

Momo’s eyes lower to Mina’s mouth naturally, because she was kissing her neck but this is where she had been intending on getting to eventually. Impulsively, she slides a hand around Mina’s shoulder and gently pulls down on her shirt, smiling when Mina complies easily and kisses her. 

Momo has always believed she could dance forever and still always find some new joy in it every day. And she feels the same way about kissing Mina, in how it’s familiar now and yet simultaneously timeless and new. She sees the shape of the words again, glowing softly behind her eyelids, and she’s going to find the perfect opportunity to say the words to Mina, and it’ll be through a grand gesture fitting of the scope and depth of her feelings; it won’t be when they’ve just woken up and are making out in bed, but it will be soon.

For now, Momo’s hand wanders from the collar of Mina’s shirt to her neck and then down her shoulder, and this is when Mina pulls back, pursing her lips and containing a smile, perhaps noticing the way Momo’s body has warmed all over.

“Let me wake you up.”

Mina’s hand reaches down and she leans to kiss Momo again, and against every initial expectation Momo had formed—that this will be rushed and adrenaline-fueled, like the one and only time they did this in the morning after waking up—Mina is slow and deliberate and somehow manages to continue kissing Momo throughout the entirety of it. It’s almost sort of overwhelming how the physical sensation of Mina being inside her while so thoroughly kissing her seeps into her bones and pours into her bloodstream and makes her heart pound with a strength and rhythm Momo hasn’t felt before. The feeling floats down languidly from Mina’s kiss to a space somewhere between Momo’s throat and her chest and makes every strand of muscle and every nerve ending ache for her, and Momo has to pull Mina a little closer because she’s going to make a sound, she knows she is; she’s trained herself to be quieter but this feels so different that she’s not sure she can do it now, and she needs Mina to muffle it with her lips. 

It’s the right idea, as it turns out, because the end feels different too—a different kind of high that spills and spreads through her and is just as addicting as everything else Mina has made her feel—and when Momo eases back into her regular breathing and heart rate, Mina grins down at her and it’s like the sun has spilled into the room. And when she asks Momo teasingly if she’s woken up, Momo is still flushed and tingling and can’t help a small laugh before answering that yes, she’s very much awake now.

They dress and eat a light breakfast afterwards, all while speculating possible reasons for the order. 

“Maybe we have to go on another paparazzi date or something,” Momo guesses after unenthusiastically stirring a cup of yogurt in the kitchen as Mina pulls a sweater over her head. “I wonder if we could pick the restaurant this time,” she adds idly, momentarily distracted by a daydream of different restaurants she’s been curious to try out.

Mina is worrying a corner of her bottom lip, and poses distantly, “do you think it has to do with our divorce?”

This new course in the conversation is so jarring that, as if by reflex, Momo’s attention is snapped to the girl, and she feels her body stiffen on her chair. “Why do you say that?”

Mina’s impassive shrug does little to assuage her alarm. “They did give us copies of our divorce paperwork when we filed our taxes last month, remember?” Momo squints with the effort it takes to recall anything from that day that doesn’t involve what they did in Mina’s weekend house. “Did you ever get around to reading it?”

“It’s a thousand pages long, Mina,” she states with horror, as a response.

With a fond chuckle, an amused Mina corrects, “three hundred, actually. And that’s because there are two versions of it, one for each day we might get divorced—next month, or in November.”

It unsettles her somewhat, how matter-of-factly Mina is discussing this topic. The reasonable part of her brain knows this is who Mina is; she’s pragmatic and calm and has literally signed contracts with her parents regarding her pet ownership rights. The less-reasonable part, however, is letting Mina’s casualness pull and pick at some insecure part of her that she had never known existed. 

“I think we should take the papers, just in case,” Mina suggests, approaching Momo and attentively re-folding the lapels of her jacket. Momo leans into her touch instinctively, drawn by the familiar tug of warmth inside her, while fighting against the bothersome knot forming in her throat. “It didn’t look too likely that they’d have us divorce before November, so maybe they’re just changing a clause or something.”

As Momo finds upon their arrival at the legal team office, their guesses were very much off-base.

The first thing Momo spots inside the always-striking conference room is the enormous television screen, displaying what looks like a weirdly-captured candid of Mina and BamBam. Momo notes the outfits and surroundings, and deduces that the picture was taken last night, some time after Mina left her dressing room and before Momo exited her own. The picture doesn’t look too compromising—Momo can tell the two happened to pass by one another as GOT7 was heading to the stage, and Mina is smiling politely while BamBam actually looks distracted, with his bandmates somewhat off-side. Momo debates the likelihood that this is actually a photoshopped picture, and is taken aback by the heavy solemnity in the room.

She happens to throw a quick glance at Mina and immediately notices the clench of her jaw and the subtle blush blooming from her neck to her cheeks, clear indicators that if she’s not entirely pissed off already, she is most definitely close to it.

Even as they are apprised of the situation, it takes Momo a minute to piece together why they’re here, and why Mina’s eyes appear to be burning with an odd mix of exasperation and anger—apparently she was not even looking at BamBam as she smiled and the two were several feet away; the unfortunate angle of the snapshot, however, gave a gossip magazine the perfect opportunity to create a salacious headline pointing to Mina and BamBam’s alleged dalliance, and now JYPE has resorted to offering a generous sum to the publication in hope of burying the story before it’s publicly disseminated.

“We’re at a bit of a crossroads, of course,” the lead legal counsel asserts with easy but somber authority, “as there is a precedent for this… issue,” out of the corner of her eye, Momo spots Mina’s nearly-imperceptible flinch, “so we may have to initiate damage control protocols if JYPE is unable to purchase the rights to the image.”

“I didn’t even talk to him or interact with him in any way,” Mina protests, professional and composed, but with a light waver in her voice that betrays her distress. “I was smiling at one of the stage crewmembers.”

There’s a persistent ping of curiosity in Momo that pushes her to ask, “so if the magazine says no to the money offer and publishes the picture, what happens?”

“Quite frankly, we foresee a very severe media scandal.”

There’s a kind of silence that Momo has learned only occurs in very specific contexts. She experienced it two years ago whenever TWICE was advised of their bolstered security measures following Tzuyu’s nightmarish backlash after the flag incident. She experienced it last year when TWICE received additional guidelines on acceptable social media engagement when Mina and BamBam’s first picture began to swiftly make the rounds on the internet.

And she experiences it now, as Mina pales and swallows hard and a jagged rock settles heavily in the middle of Momo’s heart when the legal counsel adds that there are three courses of action currently in debate, if the magazine does not accept JYPE’s bid.

“Our first option is an early divorce,” another lawyer, much more stoic, delineates. “We had been reluctant to authorize it due to the sensitive nature of your marriage, but we believe the potential scandal from this latest incident may outweigh other risks.”

Momo runs each word over in her mind to understand it and process it—okay, option one is to get divorced this month. This… is not an option she wants to consider, and indeed she ends up having no time to consider it, because the counsel readily moves on.

“Our second option,” the lawyer continues, clicking through various paparazzi pictures of TWICE, and, more specifically, of Mina and Momo, projected on the large screen, “is to sell a narrative in which you two are happily married, and the picture was purely accidental.” Momo notices Mina visibly relaxing, until the lawyer amends almost immediately, “however, in order to sell this, we will increase the number of public appearances you two make as a couple, separately from TWICE.”

Momo’s mind darts immediately to the memory of the one and only time they had to partake in a completely orchestrated date; remembers Mina’s obvious discomfort and her subsequent relief that they would never have to do that again. 

“Increase them… by how much?” Mina queries quietly, with the kind of reluctance that tells Momo she does not actually want to know the answer to her question.

“A few times a week,” is the response, which raises no red flags in her mind like it apparently raises in Mina’s, until the lawyer adds, “for a couple of months. We will make the appropriate adjustments to your work schedules and other commitments.”

With a quick glance in Mina’s direction, Momo deduces that Mina is already resisting the idea, and this is what alarms Momo—that the only other alternative they’ve been provided thus far besides this one is the early divorce option, which… cannot be the one she’s actually considering.

The lead legal counsel clears his throat and appraises them from across the table. Caught off-guard by his businesslike demeanor, clearly expressing the seriousness of their circumstance, Momo is suddenly very aware of her age—she remembers how young they are; adults, made to feel like children still by the unwelcoming, unsavory side of their world.

“The third and final option… is to sell an opposite narrative,” he states. “In this one, you two have hit a particularly rough patch. We will leak a story that will pair Momo with another male celebrity, and for a time, we will arrange for you two to maintain some distance. Ultimately, when the time is conducive, we will circulate rumors of a reconciliation.”

Momo had been tensely leaning forward on her chair, intrigued and stressed by all the information being provided to them, but the moment she hears the third option and its implications for her, she immediately recoils.

Much like last time, they request a minute to deliberate their choices and arrive at a decision, which is readily accommodated by the two counsels. The second Momo hears the glass door click closed, she has to raise a hand to her temple in a superficial and ineffective attempt to ward off all the unwelcome flashes of memory flooding her mind from the last time they were here, in this exact room—a little over five months ago, when they learned they had accidentally married and embroiled themselves in an enormous public mess.

A nervous energy courses through her body and Momo finds herself standing from her chair, and declaring, before she has quite digested Mina’s dejected expression, “okay, so if the worst happens and the magazine doesn’t take JYP’s money, I think option 2 sounds good.”

There’s a flash of surprise that glints in Mina’s eyes, gone just as quickly as it appeared. “You want us to have fake dates multiple times a week?”

Momo is unable to contain her own surprise. “Well, which one were you thinking?”

“I think option 3 sounds practical, at least.”

A jolt of disbelief makes Momo immediately scoff. “You want them to make up gossip about me dating some guy?”

She can tell her dismissive response irked Mina a bit, but the girl nonetheless argues pointedly, standing as well, “apparently, the gossip will already be that _I’m_ flirting with someone people believe is my ex, so you being paired off isn’t that—”

It’s almost as though Mina is speaking in an entirely different language—that’s how little Momo is able to process what she’s saying. “Hold on; you would actually prefer to have us be painted as two cheaters than just go on a few dates for show—”

“Except that it won’t just be a few dates, Momo,” Mina grits out, her ill-temper now quite obvious as she cuts Momo off mid-tirade. “Did you hear what the lawyer said? It’s going to be _months_ of that, and will even affect TWICE—”

Every one of Mina’s words stirs inside Momo a horrible cocktail of resentment and confusion, which begins to pool in her throat and threatens to spill out of her. And suddenly, Momo’s mind is split into two different factions, warring against one another. 

She wants to agree with whatever Mina is saying, because Mina is _Mina_ —she’s smart and mature and always well-prepared for every problem. 

She also wants, just as badly, to argue back and fight against what Mina is proposing, because the thought of being purposely photographed with some boy she has no interest in, while pretending to be going through a “rough patch” with the girl she actually belongs to, is enough to prod her heartbeats into thudding so heavily that she’s almost nauseous. 

And the fact that Mina would actually be fine with that, would not mind Momo being perceived to be with someone else, it begins to burn through her, because all it does is make her imagine the gossip Mina herself will be written in—Mina, supposedly tangled up with someone else as well, while married to _her_. 

Out of pure reckless irritation, Momo interrupts her; “I can’t believe you want us to pretend like I’m interested in someone else and that picture with BamBam is actually real,” she mumbles, annoyed and pointing to the television screen displaying the ill-timed photo, while her temper is so inflamed she wonders if Mina can feel the heat of it.

“Obviously I don’t want any of that,” Mina shoots back with a glare, “but I don’t feel like we have much of a choice here. We can’t completely mess up the group’s work schedule, Momo. I’ve been in a scandal before; it was horrible but the worst part was that it affected the group, too, and I don’t want to do that again.” She seems to gather her energy to try one more time to defend her preferred option—“none of the gossip will be real, anyway; it’ll probably be a one-shot story about us and it’ll only _look_ like we’re with other people”—and one more time, Momo swallows down the feeling that Mina’s words are chewing on her heart, and spitting it out.

That cocktail finally spills out.

“Fine.” Momo’s statement is curt, all edges and accusation. “We’ll end up doing whatever you want, anyway.” Mina frowns and the atmosphere in the room suffers such a brusque change that Momo wonders if the lights have actually darkened. “Everything I do is for you; everything we do is on your terms.”

“My terms?” Mina asks with a tone landing somewhere between surprise and annoyance. “None of this has been on my terms; what are you talking about?” Her eyes chain Momo down to her spot as she takes an irritated step closer. “Getting married was your idea. Staying married was your idea. Hiding this from everyone we know was your idea.”

Equal parts taken aback and antagonized, Momo immediately replies, “the first one I did while I was drunk; literally everything else I’ve done after that has been for you.” Mina’s skepticism fuels her to continue with a huff, “did you think _I_ wanted to hide us?”

Mina’s response consists of a bitter laugh accompanied by a sarcastic, “right—we’re hiding because of _me_ , not because you were the one who literally said we weren’t going to tell anyone.”

“Of course that was for you; that was so you wouldn’t get embarrassed about us,” Momo shoots back, increasingly aggravated. She has no time to consider her words before they’re already filling the war-like space between them; “that wasn’t for me— _I’m_ not the one who can’t face the world.”

It’s such a poor choice of words that Mina recoils away from her, as though Momo had dealt an actual physical blow, and in the tenderest part of her heart, Momo regrets it instantly.

“Yes, Momo,” the girl agrees acidly before Momo has a chance to apologize, now about a hundred times angrier than before; “when I asked you to face the world with me, that’s exactly what I meant—I wanted to lie to all our friends about us and meanwhile have sex in vans and dressing rooms.” Mina’s contempt is so thick that it’s almost as though she is mocking Momo’s earlier statement, or mocking Momo herself. “That’s _exactly_ what I meant; I’m so glad we’re having this conversation.”

“It _was_ for you,” Momo insists darkly, absorbing Mina’s implied insult, letting it echo inside her and bounce off the walls of her chest. “Everything I did was for you. I convinced you to stay married to _protect you_.” A nauseating, painful ache seems to be climbing its way from Momo’s stomach up to her throat, using her ribs as a staircase, leaving a flood of infuriation in its wake.

Every corner of Momo’s flared temper is stretched apart when Mina repeats incredulously, “to _protect me_? Is that a joke?” 

A joke?

Here is something Momo had always assumed she would never bring up; a truth she had stocked away in the remotest, most secluded corner of her mind, buried underneath everything else—everything good—that has happened between her and Mina since that incident. That day, when Momo desperately paced inside the restroom stall into which she had pulled Mina as everything unraveled around them, that day Momo made a choice out of entirely selfless reasons for a girl she had befriended and trained with and performed with, and by whose side she had matured into the person she is today. She made a choice without ever sparing a thought for her own wellbeing, without ever considering what consequences she would have to face for herself; she made that choice because of Mina, her bandmate and friend, only to be confronted today with the fact that this same girl is treating the thought of Momo doing that for her as a joke.

A wave of hurt that sears through her body effectively boils her blood and turns her heartache into simmering rage.

Momo honestly never thought she would ever tell Mina what truly drove her to chase her into that restroom stall. But then, she does, drawing out each word with thinly-veiled scorn, the kind she can’t remember ever using with anyone, much less Mina.

“Yes, that was for _you_. To save your career. To keep you in TWICE. Since you already had a _great_ track record with your thing from before,” she makes a vague, revolted motion to the television screen, but Mina’s infuriated gaze remains on her. “So yeah—that was 100% for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Mina demands, voice dangerously low and coated with exasperation and disbelief. “What _thing_ from before?”

“Your thing.” The thought of purposely hurting Mina, or of Mina purposely hurting her, had always been unfathomable, like imagining the end of infinity. And yet here they are. At the end of infinity. “It’s your thing, isn’t it? Getting involved with company employees?”

She winces at the cheapness of her own shot; wants to take it back immediately, wants to ask Mina to unhear the words, to forget them, to forgive her—

She feels her heart oozing out from between her ribs and out of her chest when Mina breathes out in shock, “I can’t believe you just said that.” And as her disbelief curdles into a ferocity that is almost blinding in its intensity, Momo is paralyzed in her spot. “ _Nothing happened_ between BamBam and I,” an enraged Mina snaps. “We weren’t _anything_ ; we didn’t _do_ anything. You know what?”

Mina is looking at Momo like she’s broken her heart, but Momo can’t understand why she would look at her like that when Mina is the one who goes on to grab a pen nearby, pull out their divorce papers from her backpack, and sign the last page, declaring immediately as Momo gapes at the action, “here you go, _Hirai_.”

Mina’s stormed exit is a blur; Momo stares blankly at Mina’s signature, unable to process what she’s seeing.

Mina divorced her.

_Mina divorced her._

It’s like her body doesn’t recognize what’s taking place. It’s never associated Mina with pain but the pain that stings and washes over her now is worse than every sprain she’s ever had, worse than that time she was hit in the head by a baseball, worse than every time she’s tripped and fallen and sustained gashes on her knees, this is worse by such an exponential degree that she can’t believe it.

There’s a murmur emanating from her heart and soul and body, a murmur that becomes a shout; a shout that almost makes her knees buckle, a reaction to everything unfolding before her: _this hurts this hurts this hurts this hurts_

Momo snatches the contract from the table and marches to the office next to the conference room, blurting out ungracefully, “is this valid?”

“Yes, your divorce paperwork is legally binding and valid.”

Momo’s brain absorbs perhaps half of that sentence before it’s already seemingly melting inside her skull. Momo cannot believe—she can’t believe Mina would actually—how could she even—

“Thank you,” she whispers, lungs collapsed inside her. Her hands shake as she signs her own line, shutting off every fiber of her being that revolts against it. Hurriedly, she then heads to their transport car, equally fearful and victorious when she finds that Mina has just stepped inside, intending on returning to the dorm.

Barely containing her rage, Momo also slides in, welcoming the oppressive atmosphere of the vehicle. The silence is all-consuming and downright hellish, and they’ve not even spared a glance at one another, because Mina knows, as Momo does, that they cannot have a fight in view of their driver.

The moment they’re dropped off at their doorstep and Momo stomps in, however, following Mina’s own pissed off footsteps, she practically slams the door behind her and, unwilling to wait until they can walk the short distance between the living room and their own room and entirely unfazed by the possibility that any of their bandmates might be in the dorm, she immediately calls out with an aggression in her tone that even she has a hard time recognizing, “ _really_?! You _divorced_ me?!”

Mina promptly turns, defiant with arms crossed and eyes flashing with rage. 

“We fight _one time_ —” Momo argues, fevered with indignation, watching Mina narrowing her eyes dangerously as her voice turns so furious that it seems to scorch the ground they’re standing on.

“Was that a fight or just you insulting me—”

“Just one fight and you have the _nerve_ to divorce me—”

“Are you _serious_? We were going to divorce anyway!”

This is a battle. They’re going to demolish everything they ever built between them, erase every smile and every kiss. This is a battle.

“ _One fight_ and you basically break up with me—”

“I didn’t _break up_ with you,” Mina practically spits out, burning Momo with her disdain. “I couldn’t have. We weren’t _dating_.”

Momo strikes back while steadying her own body against the spike of pain in her chest; “oh, yes, I forgot—we were just having sex in vans and dressing rooms.”

“Yes, apparently that was just me doing what I always do—getting involved with _company employees_.”

It truly is like her heart has been yanked from inside her; mangled, stomped on, seared, and laid to dry. Momo almost can’t breathe.

Mina pivots to their room but Momo instinctively leaps to block her.

There’s no point in continuing this fight, she accepts belatedly; no point in cutting herself over and over again on the jagged edges of Mina’s anger, no point in picking at all of Mina’s insecurities and fears for the sake of winning a prize she doesn’t want. There is no point, but now they’ve been engulfed by the flames of their hostility and even as she digs her heels in, Momo can’t stop the ever-worsening damage.

“You’re really just going to walk away and pretend you didn’t just—”

“I’m not doing anything you wouldn’t do,” Mina seethes with annoyance; “that’s _your_ thing, isn’t it? Shutting me out whenever things change between us?”

Of course Mina had her own incident she perhaps also buried inside her mind and never planned on digging up—that terrible time after she came back from Japan with Sana and Momo made them strangers, unable to come to terms with the fact that there was no place of her heart Mina hadn’t marked and made hers. 

Momo had forgotten about that period. Mina clearly hadn’t.

Just like that, Momo knows where this is going. She’s following the invisible trail of Mina’s thoughts to the memory of the moment in which that awful period ended, when Momo was weak and in love and couldn’t fight her feelings anymore, the moment Momo finally gave in, and kissed Mina... and Mina kissed her back.

No, Mina. Please don’t. Please don’t say it.

But Mina does say it, and she’s resolute and unwavering.

“I think that fourth one was a mistake.”

And Momo is stripped of her last remaining ounce of strength.

The reality of what’s happened strikes Momo with merciless precision. This is Mina doing exactly what Momo was doing before, back in the JYPE office. This is Mina weaponizing their memories and experiences—all the things that made it so easy for Momo to be with Mina, to love her and want her forever—to hurt Momo. And Momo feels it for the first time; a heavy weight in her throat that suffocates her, a stinging behind her eyes that she can’t blink away. Momo feels like she’s going to cry. And that thought, too, would have been unfathomable before: Mina making her want to.

There’s a second of them looking at one another, surrounded by the ruins of their relationship, during which Momo hurts so badly that she wonders if she’s internally bleeding. That second fills the space between them, cracks open and widens a gap that hadn’t existed before today. 

And then Mina walks away.

-

It turns out none of the other members had left the dorm yet for their respective appointments, so everyone overheard Momo’s fight with Mina.

The immediate transition of material objects is relatively easy and fast—Mina and Jeongyeon “unswitch” beds, and the second Momo’s eyes begin to track all of Mina’s missing belongings from the walls, cabinets, and closets, she slams her eyes shut and forces herself to stop.

-

JYPE successfully buries the story. Momo receives notice that their divorce will go through anyway, and be publicly announced next month.

-

“Okay, so what’s it going to take for you and Mina to be in the same room again?”

Even though Nayeon’s words are heavy with care and soft with concern, Momo can’t help her immediate wince at the mention of Mina’s name. Three days have passed and it’s not that things have worsened—they couldn’t possibly worsen, being so horrible to begin with—but they have definitely not become any better.

Momo has taken to compulsively working out at the gym, to avoid Mina and avoid the world and avoid everything that reminds her of the world they had together, because a mere mention of Mina’s name, a mere wisp of memory of something Mina did—it makes every nerve and limb of Momo’s ache and itch.

The details of each day and of each hour pass by unnoticed as Momo makes a conscious effort to remember as little as possible of this period or the six months that preceded it. TWICE’s schedule is jam-packed with commitments leading up to their concert in Chile and the release of _What is Love?_ , and in the periphery of her mind, Momo is aware of the great lengths each of the members is going to accommodate the nightmarish situation between her and Mina. Schedules have been adjusted, appointments have been shuffled, and it’s a testament to everyone’s resourcefulness and the bond between them that as far as Momo knows, no one from JYPE is actually aware that two of the members are unable to even exist within the same space.

“So?”

Nayeon expects an answer, and Momo doesn’t think she could give her one. Not a truthful one, anyway.

There are other things Momo could tell Nayeon, and those things would be true.

(Sometimes when I get distracted or when I close my eyes, I just smell her out of nowhere and I wonder if I’m getting stabbed in the chest.)

(I wish Mina didn’t hate me.)

(I still dream about her, but it’s still mostly just me counting her moles, and I wonder if my dreams are going to catch up to what happened to us in real life.)

(She built a home inside me.)

(I think she ruined me.)

What Momo actually says is, “I’ll go wherever you need me.” And it’s the right thing to say, even if it doesn’t actually answer Nayeon’s question.

Nayeon sighs—not disappointed or angry, which tells Momo that this is what she had been anticipating—and then as though conjured by magic, Jeongyeon appears in front of her.

“We can’t have you and Mina avoiding each other, _and_ Mina and Tzuyu not talking.”

This startles Momo a bit. Tzuyu is probably Mina’s closest confidante in TWICE. She doesn’t want to ask for more information, however, because that would entail her actually saying Mina’s name, and she’s not ready for that, yet.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Nayeon inquires.

“Why would they not be talking?” Momo frowns, giving in to her curiosity.

“You know what; we should just tell her,” Nayeon states, swiveling to trade a meaningful look with Jeongyeon.

“Yeah, we should.”

Now Momo is intrigued and also mildly irked at her friends’ discussion of her as though she weren’t right in front of them.

“Tell me what?”

There’s a silence that ensues that would have annoyed Momo, had she thought that they were prolonging the reveal for the sake of being dramatic. But it truly seems as if they’re debating saying anything at all, and Momo is about to ask again what it is they’re being so mysterious about, when Nayeon declares with an unhappy wince, “Momo, everyone already knew. About you and Mina.”

Momo has been under the impression that her relationship with Mina had been discovered as a result of their horrific fight, not… that it had been known prior to that. Not immediately understanding, Momo’s brows furrow into a deep frown and Jeongyeon adds, “we’ve known for a while.”

“How long, do you think?” Nayeon turns to Jeongyeon almost idly.

Wait; what?

“Like a couple of months, right?”

This garners a reaction from Momo.

“Months?!”

Then Jeongyeon discloses, amusement now more dampened, “except for Tzuyu.”

“No, Tzuyu knew, of course,” Nayeon promptly disagrees. “She was just in denial.” And now she turns to Momo’s still slack-jawed face and almost seems forlorn when she amends, “she was in denial because Mina always told her nothing was going on. She asked Mina multiple times—after you guys got married, then when you were having that weird week you weren’t talking and you were avoiding her, and then again when we all came back from Japan—and Mina always denied it.”

_(“We won’t tell anyone, don’t worry.”)_

Momo wishes the two girls in front of her could sense how much she does not want to discuss this. How deeply it pulls her into her own unhappiness. How much it makes her want to disappear. But they can’t tell, and the conversation goes on.

“So then, when you guys had your fight, it just kind of confirmed what we already knew, but Tzuyu felt that Mina had been lying to her face this whole time—”

“Which, I mean, she was—”

“But everyone could tell anyway, I mean, after Japan you guys were being so obvious—”

“All the staring and the smiling—”

“—and going to bed before everyone else when we didn’t even have to wake up early the next day—”

“—and doing literally everything together—”

“—always trying to be alone—” 

“—remember when they kicked us all out—”

Momo clears her throat, not intending on so clearly broadcasting her discomfort but accomplishing that nonetheless, as the two girls immediately catch themselves and shift unsubtly into apologetic silence.

“What we’re trying to say is that you two need to get along,” Nayeon reaffirms, leadership qualities in display. “You two need to stop avoiding each other—”

“We’re not,” Momo cuts in immediately, unsure of where her confidence comes from, because they most certainly _are_ avoiding one another.

“Well, you two are sure doing a stellar job looking like you are,” Nayeon retorts with some impatience.

Jeongyeon is milder when she states, “whatever you two fought over, you need to sort it out.”

Momo honestly can’t remember what their fight was about. She remembers the insults and scraping every good memory of them and shaping them into bullets. But she doesn’t remember why it started.

“And if you want to talk about it—”

 _This_ , however, she’s certain of.

“I don’t.”

“—with someone, just to vent or unload—”

“I don’t.”

“—we’re here.”

“Jihyo and Sana are having this same conversation with Mina,” Nayeon informs kindly. “So you two can know that we’re all here for you. Like we were in the beginning.”

The edges of her pain start to creep into her face and Momo looks away, replying morosely, “thank you. I appreciate it.”

She’s never, ever, ever going to talk to anyone about Mina.

-

Everything in the dorm reminds Momo of Mina. There’s an emptiness inside her every morning when she wakes up and her body registers Mina’s absence beside her, and it’s accompanied by a feeling she can’t quite name or describe, but that she thinks might be a lot like despair.

As she makes honest, wholehearted attempts to stop agonizing over their separation so much, she’s simultaneously warding off a growing suspicion that she gave Mina so much of herself that now perhaps there’s not much left, as if she were somehow less of a person now, maybe; less of the Momo she used to be. And now she’s lost in a tangle of feelings that begin with Mina and don’t seem to end anywhere, and the reality of this settles deep inside her, heavily and painfully.

And it’s just her luck, really, that they had to break up around Mina’s birthday and that her fans are so devoted, because the one day Momo decides, on a whim, to take a solo trip to the grocery store, intending on clearing her mind and wallowing in her misery by herself, she steps out of the transport vehicle and onto the curb only to be almost run over by [a bus](https://scontent-frt3-2.cdninstagram.com/vp/9d9108aedd1cbe42976a47b185910fc4/5B930CEE/t51.2885-15/e35/29087878_572132263167414_4840814689648640000_n.jpg?se=7&ig_cache_key=MTczNTU0MDQzMTAzMjk1NjcwNw%3D%3D.2) whose entire side panel has been plastered with an enormous 10-foot celebratory poster of Mina’s face. 

Momo stands stupefied on the sidewalk, eyes following the bus as it makes its way down the avenue, wondering in all seriousness if this is the universe’s way of fucking with her. That it’s not enough she has to dream about Mina every single night, that she swears she catches whiffs of her perfume in the most random places, in the randomest times of the day—now she’s literally almost being struck by a _bus_ with Mina’s face on it. Is this a joke, she wants to ask the sky; is this how you want to hurt me? 

Momo wonders what her answer would be, if the universe gave her the choice of undoing everything she did with Mina, of unfeeling and unliving the last 6 months. If she had the choice, would she take it? Would she choose Mina or would she choose her own sanity?

-

They have dance rehearsals, and yes, Momo is well aware that this is where things might perhaps be the most difficult. They’re the lead dancers and this is the space inside which they’re expected to collaborate when in reality she and Mina have not even exchanged two words in the entirety of the past week.

Thus, TWICE’s first rehearsal goes about as well as Momo expects—and by that, Momo means that it’s a catastrophe.

She’s so distracted by Mina, so unfocused on everything that exists outside of the girl her heart has been bleeding over, that it takes her about twice as long to learn and master their newest choreography. It’s something that alarms her and downright outrages her, that she’s one of the best dancers in their entire industry and in this specific rehearsal, she’s certainly not living up to that title.

Obviously, things can be worse. And they do get worse. There’s one sequence in which she and Mina find out they have to hold hands above Nayeon as their lead vocalist reaches a high note that (Momo calculates with feverish dismay) lasts for 3 seconds.

In any other period of her life, 3 seconds would have been a meaningless span of time. Today, it might as well be 30 years. 

It feels like getting scalded when her hand touches Mina’s; it’s surprising how immediately her entire body reacts with panic-like rigidity to being in contact with the person who’s kissed her and touched her all over.

She has an admittedly bad reaction but at least it isn’t noticeable. Mina apparently can’t stand to touch her for longer than a single second, a fact that is brought to light by their dance instructor, who pauses their practice to point out helpfully, “Mina, you’re rushing.”

The exact words. 

_(“You’re rushing.”)_

“I’m sorry?” Mina breathes out with something like pained disbelief.

Momo kissed her that night. And Mina kissed her back.

“You’re letting go of Momo’s hand before the measure is over.”

Their fourth kiss; the one Mina thinks was a mistake.

Momo is going to die of chest pains right now and no one will care.

“You should let go after Nayeon’s high note, not before,” the instructor explains, oblivious to the tense looks being exchanged all around the room. “Okay?”

“Yes, I apologize.”

Momo has gotten used to Mina’s gaze always fleeing from hers, which is why even when they should be looking at one another, Momo usually fixes her attention on the mirrors and on her own movements. Sometimes she allows herself to actually focus on her reflection, and wonders briefly whether she looks on the outside how she feels on the inside. She’s never sure.

Today, however, Mina does look at her, and does not immediately glance away. It’s a job sometimes, dancing and singing. Most of the time, it’s fun or it’s a dream come true or it’s the culmination of much hard work, and sometimes it’s a job. She can tell this is where Mina’s view has shifted, an adjustment she’s made to be able to get through this rehearsal. 

They carry on with their session and it’s really, really tempting, to let her hand stay on Mina’s just a second longer. Just one, drawn-out second, that extra piece of time that she always took before, whenever she had the chance, because Mina’s body was always calling out to her hands for them to touch her, and Momo never had to say no. And now she does. Which is why she pulls back that hand and then clenches her fists tightly at her side, wondering if she’s ever truly going to touch Mina again. Wondering if Mina would ever want her to.

The universe asks her again; if she had the choice to unlive her story with Mina and unfeel everything that’s pooled inside her, would she choose to?

The answer feels like something only her heart knows, but her heart is still following Mina around wherever she goes so Momo answers it on her own, to no one in particular—yes, my answer would be yes.

-

After TWICE films their Pocari Sweat commercial spot, Momo’s eyes track Mina and Sana’s departure from their beach set, and her tensed muscles and bones sag with relief. The other members have mastered the art of providing an efficient buffer between Mina and Momo, so they are never next to one another and never made to interact, but the entire effort is at times exhausting.

After realizing that they are the only three members with no impending obligations for the afternoon, Jeongyeon and Dahyun, perhaps in an effort to lift Momo’s spirits, suggest an impromptu soccer game, persuading her to join in after convincing the set manager to permit them to use the boardwalk.

Momo isn’t particularly enthused, but partakes in the activity nonetheless, cracking an easy smile when Jeongyeon and Dahyun attempt to imitate famous soccer players and elaborate dribbling maneuvers. It’s quite possibly the worst display of soccer skill Momo has ever had the misfortune of witnessing, but it tickles out of her the type of unworried laugh that she hadn’t released since...

_(“Are you awake now?”)_

The flash of memory, still so recent, still so fresh, distracts her enough that she doesn’t register Jeongyeon and Dahyun’s hurried approach. Momo is sighing, more or less—wondering whether she can take a deep enough breath that when she exhales, the hole in her chest might feel smaller, the pain might become more manageable, and she’ll hurt less—and then she feels a blindingly acute stab of pain on her shin that makes her fall backwards and clutch her leg against her chest.

It’s not the worst pain she’s ever felt, because she was in the midst of reliving the actual worst pain she’s ever felt, but this is close enough that she has to blink away tears and the shock of noticing just how swollen and reddened the area already is.

She tries to bury the thought in the moment she recognizes its first semblance, the thought that there is someone in the world who would have cared about this more than anyone else, someone who would have been appalled by Momo’s injury, who probably would have hunted down Jeongyeon and Dahyun and lectured them on their carelessness. She squeezes her eyes shut, tries to pummel the thought away, divert her mind to any other place in the universe, but her mind goes where it always does, instead; it wonders where Mina is. 

Distantly, she overhears Jeongyeon calling someone—Nayeon? Jihyo?—and Dahyun rushing to summon the set medic, and when they arrive at the dorm, Momo ices the injury while gradually becoming more and more alarmed at the size of the welt. When Nayeon bursts into the room, Jihyo in tow, and they catch sight of the [blossoming bruise](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgkj2gRAnrG/?taken-by=twicetagram), the two girls are so thoroughly horrified that Nayeon’s immediate exclaimed “holy shit; JYP is going to be pissed” almost makes Momo flinch. 

Not ten minutes later, Momo limps out of the room to head to the bathroom and is instantly paralyzed by the sight of Mina exiting her own room, stepping into the soft light of the hallway as well. Mina, too, halts. They exchange a look so loaded with the heaviness of unspoken words that it makes Momo feel as though they’re touching. And Momo remembers the last time they were in this hallway.

She remembers the background noise from the television in the living room, playing a drama Momo used to watch.

She remembers someone gently removing her makeup and telling her that she was the president of a fan club.

And now she wishes she could tell her, if I had known it’d hurt this much to remember it, I’d never have let you touch me.

“I hope you heal quickly.” It’s so quiet Momo almost doesn’t hear it. 

“Thanks. I hope so, too.”

-

The problem with Chile isn’t Chile. It’s Mina, and the fact that the concert in Chile happens to be exactly on her birthday. 

Momo is settling into the room she’s sharing in their Santiago hotel with Sana (who barely threw down her luggage before swiftly leaving the room to discuss something with Nayeon), sullenly unpacking her luggage after the world’s longest flight—she’s honestly not sure how she’s going to survive another day-long flight the next day when they return to Korea. She notices that she’s received several messages in the group text that excludes Mina, all alerting everyone to a plan Jihyo and Sana have concocted to put together a small birthday celebration in TWICE’s spare free time before the concert that evening. Apparently, everyone is going to a mall in Santiago in an hour, and Tzuyu (who’s finally made up with Mina), Chaeyoung, and Nayeon will distract Mina while everyone else has volunteered to visit a bakery wherein they’ll select and commission a cake.

 _‘Do you want to go with us, Momo?’_ is Jeongyeon’s entry in the group text, and a disheartened Momo plops down on her bed, weighing her options.

It’s Mina’s birthday. Mina turned 21 today and in their usual efforts to avoid one another, Momo hasn’t extended her any well-wishes, has not even addressed the topic at all.

 _‘Okay, I’ll go with you guys,’_ Momo texts back, wondering if she’ll regret this.

Right away, Dahyun spots a videogame controller-shaped cake in one of the bakery displays and while everyone agrees enthusiastically that Mina will love it, Momo wonders whether there’s some technique she hasn’t heard of that would help her in moments like this, when she’s not sure how to keep her pain safely contained inside her ribs.

There’s a waiting time until they can pick up the cake, so when everyone returns to the hotel, Jihyo is assigned the added task of ensuring Mina stays inside the room they’re sharing, and doesn’t venture out and accidentally discover their entire plan.

The operation is successful, and when TWICE summarily bursts into the room, managing to completely catch Mina off-guard, Momo is unable to help a wide, satisfied smile. Their sung happy birthday is followed by a collective “we love you, Minari” that just about ruins Momo’s entire existence, because she means it in such a starkly different way from everyone else. Perhaps because she distinguishes Momo’s voice among the tapestry of enjoined voices, Mina’s eyes dart to Momo’s for just a quick, fleeting moment, and Momo’s gaze chooses to transmit the questions that have filled her heart.

Do you miss me? Do you wish I was still with you? Do you remember what it was like to be with me? If you had a choice, would you undo the time we were together?

And Mina, too, sends her a question. Momo doesn’t know what it is; wonders if she’s asking her the same things, wonders if she can speak up now, and answer them.

“All right, Mina; make a wish,” Jihyo nudges, tone tightly controlled, because all the members are always tip-toeing around the tattered remains of Mina and Momo’s relationship nowadays.

“Yeah, Mina; what do you want?” Nayeon adds, soft words made softer by care.

Mina is silent for a beat, staring down at the candles as the flicker of their flames are bright inside her pupils. “What do I want?” Mina repeats quietly, and the cloud of discomfort that seems to settle into the room is so heavy that Momo feels apologetic suddenly, that they’ve effectively rendered their friends into collateral damage.

Mina slowly leans forward and blows the candles then, and Momo hopes so fervently for Mina’s happiness that she wants to chase down all the scattered wisps of her breath to piece together the wish she sent out to the world, so she can do everything she can to make it come true.

It’s in these moments that Momo becomes aware of a war being waged inside her; some part of her that wants to forget Mina, to find a new face to dream about, a new voice to hear in her thoughts, engaged in a bitter battle with another part of her that just wants so, so badly, for Mina to come back. That latter part hears that question from the universe of whether she would unlive her time with Mina if she had the choice, and answers it with unwavering certainty—no.

-

The problem with Chile isn’t Chile. The concert attendees in Santiago might be the most energetic, euphoric crowd Momo has ever had the luck of interacting with. She knows she’s going to remember this forever, and hopes these good memories she’s gained in Chile somehow outweigh the bad ones.

-

On their flight back, the airline performs an added security measure prior to boarding, summoning passengers in groups sorted by last names for a passport check.

Momo almost misses it.

“Momo…” Chaeyoung nudges as Momo stares out the expanse of glass of the waiting area, at an undetermined spot on the horizon. “Momo.”

“Sorry—yes, what is it?”

The wince, hesitating and pained, is a give-away that whatever this girl is going to say has to do with Mina in some way.

“Um, they just called the ‘H’ names. Your name is back to Hirai, right?”

Momo has been surprised more and more often lately by her own contradictory behavior; the way she’s been trying so hard to let go of everything that ties her to Mina, while simultaneously clinging to them so desperately. This is one of those things, she guesses. The last name.

Momo stands up, grabs her passport from her bag. “Yeah, it’s back to Hirai.”

-

Their divorce finally becomes public, and yes, the internet creates a moderate-sized media storm out of it, but JYPE issues the standard PR-friendly statement (Momo reads “amicable separation” and decides not to read any further) while TWICE releases _What is Love?_ at almost the same time, so the fire and fury is dampened somewhat, and the success of their comeback manages to outlast the negative attention garnered by the divorce.

On the day the announcement is issued, however, Momo stands in the middle of her bedroom, processing an attempt to accept the “official-ness” of her separation from Mina. Obviously they’ve been broken up for a long, miserable month. So Momo isn’t quite sure why she’s feeling this claustrophobic resentment that makes her hate, hate, hate this room.

It starts with one memory—Mina patiently showing her how to knit—and it seems to multiply all around her; ghosts of Mina that have always been haunting the periphery of her vision, now coming to the forefront of her memories.

The time Mina brushed her hair for her when she was sick because she was too weak to raise her arms. The time Mina threw her pillow at her when Momo made fun of how a grouping of moles on her back looks like a cowboy hat. All the times Mina swallowed Momo’s groans in the darkest parts of the night. 

_I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you_

Stop. Stop thinking about her.

(Yes, given the choice, I would undo everything, I would forget everything, I would never have even met her.)

-

“I wish she didn’t hate me.”

It comes out of her easily and unprompted. Momo is at the gym, workout interrupted as she fields off Nayeon’s weekly reprehension session (“okay, you can’t keep literally looking away whenever Mina is singing”) and then the words just flow out of her.

Even Nayeon is a bit shocked by her assertion; Momo hasn’t as much as said Mina’s name unless circumstances absolutely called for it, much less discussed her own feelings.

“I’m sure she wishes she hated you, and that she thinks you’re the one who hates her, but she definitely does not hate you,” Nayeon responds earnestly. “Do you know how I figured at first that you guys were together?” she asks softly, and a pained Momo shakes her head while talking herself into staying put, into not running away. “Because I noticed a change in behavior.” Momo is wondering how differently she must have been acting to tip Nayeon off, but then she continues, “Mina was… more confident, I think. More sure of herself. And I thought it had to be you.”

It takes a moment for Momo to gather the words, to allow herself to say them out loud. “I really miss her.” And once she does say them, her mind begins to pour out every other thought and feeling that follows; “I miss everything, and I knew I would, but I really miss being her friend.”

Momo remembers exploring an aquarium with Mina in Las Vegas.

She remembers Mina throwing a handful of cake onto Momo’s neck on Sana’s birthday.

“She was my friend first.”

She remembers swimming in Jeju and overnight dance practices and sharing food in airports.

“And she was a really good friend to me.”

The lump inside her throat, that sometimes would reach down to her ribcage and make it impossible to breathe, it finally seems to lighten. It’s not gone. But Momo can actually take a deeper breath than she has been able to in weeks, and that fuels her to tell Nayeon more. “I feel like I can’t get away from her. And the dreams won’t stop—”

“Oh, it’s true, then? You actually dream with her? I thought Jeongyeon was joking.”

Despite everything, this draws a mild laugh from Momo. “Yeah, I do. All the time.”

“That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” Nayeon states seriously, and Momo’s laughter expands. “Mina must have melted with that.”

A week ago, or perhaps even sooner than that, the memory would have stung so intensely that Momo probably would have cried. Today, she has enough strength to reply with a smile, “no, actually, she made fun of me.”

“That’s my girl,” Nayeon nods approvingly, and Momo’s face must have registered some kind of expression she isn’t quite aware of, because Nayeon immediately laughs and corrects, “your girl, I mean.”

“She’s not, anymore.” Before Momo’s spirits can be soaked in self-loathing again, and before Nayeon expends any energy in a tender-hearted effort to reassure Momo, she adds a second later, “she really does hate me. You didn’t see the look on her face when she divorced me. There’s two things she doesn’t like about herself and her past, and I threw both of them at her face because I got defensive and also, I’m an idiot.”

“Then apologize,” Nayeon suggests simply, and all Momo can do is shoot her look of utter bewilderment. “Or at least try to talk to her.”

“Have you been listening to me at all? She hates me.”

Nayeon is entirely unfazed. “Momo, what’s the worst that could happen? You already broke up—”

Momo’s response erupts as a flurry of renewed hurt and aggravation; “she could tell me again how much she regrets being with me, and how I’m just a mistake she made, and believe me—I don’t think I could live through that twice.”

To her credit, Nayeon doesn’t press on. She can be the most insisting, most annoying person in the entire group, but this is not who she is today. She lays a consoling hand on Momo’s shoulder, and Momo breathes out an apology that is long overdue.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking about the band when this started.”

“Yeah, having sex in the vans was definitely not very considerate for the rest of the group,” an irked Nayeon readily agrees, rolling her eyes.

“You know, that was a 2-person activity and I don’t see you yelling at her,” Momo retorts easily, and then she’s hit by instant regret at having potentially incurred Mina some reprehension of her own. “Wait, you’re not going to yell at her, are you? That was more my fault than hers; please don’t blame her—”

“Good God, can you two stop defending each other? That’s exactly what she said when Jihyo tried to get on her case about this, too.”

Momo doesn’t exactly know how to interpret that, so she settles for allowing herself a crooked smile.

“When you want to talk about this more, and if it’s helping you feel better about it, we’re all here.” 

-

In one particular promotional engagement they partake for _What is Love?_ , TWICE attends a Japanese variety show in which they are made to participate in a series of games. 

The first is a modified charades competition, and the moment Momo notices that they’ve lined up in an order that will automatically pair her with Mina, Momo subtly trades positions with Nayeon. And this proves to be a smart action, because Nayeon pulls a card that has her attempting to act out a _Heartshaker_ lyric (“Love is timing”) without signing a heart shape or using any part of the choreography, while Mina is tasked with deciphering her movements. Momo’s mind makes the immediate association to their Las Vegas fortune cookie and she’s almost faint with relief that she’s not the one having to participate in this game.

But then the second game begins. There’s a box containing assorted questions about each member, deemed difficult or impossible to answer, and as Momo reaches into the enclosure to withdraw her paper, she only has one hope, one prayer—that her question not be about Mina. She doesn’t think she’s asking for much. 

Apparently she is.

She unfolds the paper as the hosts play the sound of a drum roll, and then she catches the first glimpse of the question, and her heart drops out of her chest.

“Um.” Come on, Hirai. Come on. “It’s about Mina.”

She hadn’t as much as said the girl’s name in all these months. It’s the first time, and it feels like a barbed-wire scratching against her throat.

“The question is, um… how many moles are on Mina’s face?”

Her brief glance shot Mina’s way shows her someone who’s blanched almost dramatically. Her glance shot at everyone else shows group members that have tensed as well.

No one knows about this.

No one could answer this question, probably, because no one’s counted them like Momo has. No one has kissed each one.

This is supposed to be a difficult question. But it’s very, very easy.

“She has nine.”

Afterwards, TWICE is dropped off at their hotel and Momo locks herself inside the bathroom in the room she’s sharing with Jihyo, and makes what feels like a last-ditch effort to compose herself before she has to report to a meeting with the other members and board their flight back to Korea that evening.

She had been buoyed lately by the optimistic belief that she was getting better; that the aches inside her chest were dulling and the bitterness of her memories was growing fainter. But now they’re in Tokyo and she’s answering questions about Mina’s moles and it’s like her heartbreak has stained and ruined every memory she has of this country.

When she exits the bathroom, she notices that the room is still empty—Jihyo hasn’t made her way to it yet—so she sits on the edge of her bed, burying her face inside her hands and pacing her breaths and heartbeats.

I’m going to be fine.

_(“Do you still dream about me?”)_

I’m going to be fine.

_(“I’m yours, too.”)_

I’m going to get over this.

_(“You’re so amazing, Momo.”)_

I’m going to get over her.

_(“I think you’re perfect.”)_

It’ll hurt every second.

_(“That’s how you see your future?”)_

But I’m going to do it.

_(“Hi, Momo.”)_

“Momo?”

Sometimes her brain is flooded by memories so vivid and realistic that it almost feels as though she’s touching Mina again, or actually hearing her voice.

“Momo, are you okay?”

Wait.

Momo’s head shoots up from the cradle of her hands and she almost falls off the bed. She gapes at Mina, shocked by her presence, and asks immediately, “what are you doing here?” and is glad when her tone is less rude and more genuinely confused.

“Jihyo told me to get something from her drawer,” an abashed Mina explains, pointing vaguely to the doorway, “but she made it seem like you weren’t here—I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“No, it’s okay, I was just…”

Trying to get over you.

“Um, preparing for tonight.”

It’s surreal, talking to Mina again. Carrying on something that resembles a normal conversation. Momo wonders if she’s eaten something expired and is now hallucinating.

“Okay. I guess I’ll go then.”

Awkwardly, Mina turns to the door and grips the knob to open the door.

“Um…” Momo picks up a subdued rattling sound and her curiosity is piqued by Mina’s half concerned, half confused tone. “Does this door not open from the inside?”

Momo advances to the door and then promptly halts when they hear from outside the door what sounds like all other seven girls, speaking all at once.

“We’ve locked you guys in—”

“It’s for your own good—”

“—talk it out—”

“—not be so mad at each other—”

“—a few words of understanding—”

“—and if you’re there for several days—”

“—you have everything in the room—”

“—change in front of each other though—”

“I mean, they have seen each other naked a lot—”

Noticing Mina’s gradual recoil from the door, Momo steps closer and yells out, “did you guys seriously lock us in here?!”

“You two need to talk and obviously you’re not going to do it on your own,” Jihyo’s muffled voice reaches them, heavy with worry.

“We will check in with you guys every hour, to make sure you haven’t killed each other, don’t worry,” is Sana’s not-at-all-reassuring promise, and then it only takes one or two seconds of silence for Momo to realize with disbelief that yes, the other members have left her and Mina imprisoned in a hotel room.

“Whose idea do you think this was?” Mina poses reflectively, sounding genuinely intrigued rather than irritated.

“Nayeon,” Momo responds immediately, just as Mina is suggesting, “Sana?”

“Well, they’re taking drastic measures now,” Mina remarks, raising her eyes to Momo, who holds her gaze with palpitating nervousness and something akin to panic. She ponders with horror that maybe she’s forgotten completely how to talk to Mina, which makes this entire exchange terrifying.

“Do you think they’re right?” Momo blurts out unthinkingly, inwardly cringing afterward and wondering which floor they’re in so she can throw herself out of the window. Mina apparently has no idea what she’s referring to, so Momo swallows down her regret and clarifies, “about us not talking to each other on our own.”

Actually hearing her question out loud fills Momo with embarrassment, because obviously she knows the answer to that—yes, Jihyo is 100% correct; they most definitely would not have talked to each other by their own volition.

“Um, I…” Mina pauses, attention fixed somewhere in the city skyline visible from the room window. “I think this is my fault. I told Jihyo that I was thinking about leaving TWICE.”

“What?” It comes out startled and forceful, but Momo doesn’t have time to soften her words, because a wide-eyed Mina immediately explains, “I was just having a moment.”

Momo has had lots of moments. Or one very long, very painful moment that started when they broke up. Either one of these could reasonably characterize this awful period.

“I’m sorry you thought about leaving TWICE.” Momo never specifically debated leaving the group, but she did wish she could disappear from the face of the earth, which isn’t ideal, either. “I wish you never felt that way.” Momo wonders whether there’s a right way to ask this question, whether she should even ask, whether she wants to know the answer. “Was the moment because of me?”

All of Momo’s moments were because of Mina. Every single one of them.

“Yes.” Mina’s one-word response is so pointed and frank that Momo thinks she won’t say anything else; that she won’t feel safe enough to elaborate, and this is how their conversation will end. But Mina shifts on her feet and purses her lips and it’s almost like Momo can literally see her inner effort to gather her strength to continue. And then she continues. “I was afraid that I’m never going to feel the same way about TWICE as I used to. That I won’t go back to who I was before... before us.” Momo’s entire posture slacks; Mina’s words are peeling her, layer by layer, and now Momo feels raw, exposed, and vulnerable. “And I don’t like who I am right now; I don’t want to stay like this. I don’t want to always feel this way for you.”

This way. 

She still feels this way. For Momo.

Is this what it’s like, to die of a heart attack?

It’s so much more than she’s hoped for that Momo stares at her blankly and impulsively confesses, “I thought you hated me.”

“I did,” Mina confirms with a soft, timid laugh, and Momo’s heart lurches inside her and shouts at her to run away because the immediate pang of hurt strikes her so badly, but then Mina adds, “but I loved you even when I hated you.” And Momo understands how it’s possible for someone to break your heart and simultaneously put it back together.

Because Mina loved her. Mina actually loved her.

Momo saw the shape of the words and couldn’t even close her eyes without catching glimpses of the story she wanted to live with Mina, and maybe Mina was seeing the same shapes all along.

“Do you still?” Momo presses on, heart in hand and voice cracking with hope.

If the universe gave you a choice...

Instead of answering, Mina flinches and when she finally speaks, she’s hesitant and defeated. “Momo, I don’t want to talk about this. And as it is, I already feel like I can’t get over you, like I can’t move on from this if I have to see you everyday—”

And that’s when it dawns on Momo that Mina has told her everything she needed to hear, without any encouragement from her, without any indication that Momo feels anything for her at all. And Momo has been so tightly wrapped inside her own pain that she almost forgot whose heart was broken first.

The truth is, Momo could spend the next 50 years of her life describing to Mina all the different ways she loves her, and telling her about all the dreams and daydreams she has with her, and revealing how completely she’s shaped Momo and everything Momo wants for her future. But she would need Mina to stay. 

She just needs Mina to stay.

“Then don’t get over me.” Her abrupt suggestion takes Mina aback, she can tell. Momo is fueled by a sudden burst of courage from the fact that Nayeon was right—she really has nothing to lose. She already lost Mina; she already lost what she wanted the most, so she might as well be brave and truthful now. “Don’t move on. Stay where you are, and let me be there with you.”

It’s Mina’s turn to stare at her blankly, obviously unsure of her footing in this conversation. 

So Momo marches on. How honest can she be before she dies from it? “I’m sorry about the things I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I don’t know why I said them. That’s not how I feel, or have ever felt.”

Always diplomatic, Mina posits understandingly, “I’m sorry, too. I said terrible things that I didn’t mean, either, and I used the divorce to hurt you. And it’s okay that there are things about me that you don’t like.”

The thought that Mina truly believes that Momo would look at her and see anything to dislike, and that this is her fault, that she caused this with the carelessness of her words—it almost enrages her.

“There’s nothing about you I don’t like.” Momo’s never been surer of anything in her entire life; there’s no firmer truth inside her. “Even the things you don’t like about yourself—I like those things, too. I love everything. I love you and everything about you.”

How honest can she be, before she dies?

“And I feel like I’ve loved you forever. When you came here to Tokyo with Sana and you called me after doing that V-Live, I wanted so much to be with you—I knew it then and I didn’t tell you because I was afraid and I thought you’d never catch up to what I felt, and I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t need to.” Momo raises her eyebrows blankly, knocked off-balance by Mina’s statement. For her part, Mina is wincing regretfully at her own words—Momo gets the impression that perhaps this was more of her feelings than she wanted to reveal. She blushes when she explains, “I mean, I didn’t need to catch up to you. I already loved you before that. Before my trip with Sana.” The blush blooms undeterred and something begins to pull at the corners of Momo’s lips when Mina sighs self-consciously; “I knew about my feelings weeks before that trip and I didn’t tell you, either, and I’m sorry for that.”

“When did you know?” Momo asks, mildly flabbergasted by the revelation.

Meanwhile, Mina looks about ready to disappear from shame. “When I woke up that one morning and you were counting my moles.”

“Oh.”

If the universe gave me a choice, I would choose you.

“I almost got run over by a bus with your face on it.” She’s not sure why she’s just blurted that out, but it pulls an amused laugh from Mina, and the ground shifts into place underneath her feet; feels solid and firm again. “And I pre-ordered your birthday game but never played it.”

“You’d lose,” Mina pokes humoredly. “It’s pretty advanced.”

It almost feels like the past, telling Mina everything on her mind, the small and the significant, when they would be in bed at the end of a long workday and Momo could pour into Mina all her thoughts and feelings.

It almost feels like the past, when Momo was never afraid of looking at Mina for fear that the girl would look away and every bruised and partially-healed part of her heart would be hurt all over again.

It almost feels like the past, when Mina is smiling at her and not attempting to dissipate from Momo’s sight.

“I was distracted thinking about you when I got kicked in the shin.”

“Really? I almost wanted to kill Dahyun, by the way.”

It feels like the past, when they’re exchanging stories, alternating revealing the ways they tried to outrun their feelings and their time together, only to find that they had remained in the same place the other had left them.

“I accidentally signed my name ‘Myoui Momo’ two days ago when we were signing for our equipment.”

“I was filling out a government form and checked off ‘married’ instead of ‘single.’”

“I got angry one day and threw my ring out of the window and then regretted it, so I had to dig through the grass to find it.”

“Chaeyoung bought me a bag of vegetable chips because she thought I liked them and I threw it in the trash without opening it.”

It feels like the past.

“I still dream about you.”

“I wished for you, when I blew my candles that day we had my birthday party in Chile; I wished that you’d like me again.”

I’d always choose you. Every time.

“You wasted a wish, you know. I never stopped. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

Just choose me back.

“Hirai Momo, are you flirting with me in the middle of a hotel room in Tokyo?”

Mina’s still-nervous smile as she risks this joke, as she visibly tenses—perhaps afraid that Momo won’t remember that conversation—it takes Momo right back to those mornings Mina woke her up with a kiss and the nights Mina would wait until Momo closed their bedroom door behind her and then would immediately wrap her arms around Momo’s neck, or when Mina asked her about her future and all Momo could see was them.

It thaws the last frozen place of her heart.

“Because you don’t need to flirt with me, you know,” a cautiously optimistic Mina proceeds with the joke.

“You don’t need to flirt with me, either, Mina. I’m still yours.”

-

With no one holding the door closed, Momo is able to open it and begins to announce, “we sorted it... out...” then trails off sheepishly when she realizes that all 7 members are sitting in the hotel hallway, reading or on their phones, or practicing a choreography, or napping on each other’s laps.

Mina steps out from behind her and is about equal parts mortified and surprised at the sight.

“I told you it wouldn’t take the whole day,” Dahyun comments as Sana stretches her arms above her lazily and Tzuyu helps Chaeyoung eat two remaining sushi rolls on their shared plate.

“They were either going to murder each other or make up—”

Everyone is standing up, dusting themselves off with tired but satisfied smiles.

“Nabongs, who do you think would win out between them?”

“Mina, obviously. She knows how to shoot a gun.”

“Momo is more athletic, though; she can outrun Mina.”

“Hey, where’s my phone?”

All Momo can do, really, is trade a dumbfounded but appreciative look with Mina as she bends down stiltedly and picks up a device from the floor, closest by her foot. “Um, it’s here, Jihyo.”

-

Later, they’re on their way to the airport and an effervescently happy and good-humored Momo is concentrating so intensely on not staring at a blushing Mina that she doesn’t notice the unfamiliarity of the route their transport vehicle has taken, or when the vehicle parks by what looks to be either a natural reserve or a park.

“Um, can you... go with me somewhere?” Mina requests softly, turning to Momo with a shy smile.

“Just me?” Momo asks, glancing around and noting that everyone else is either napping or watching them with ill-hidden investment. Whatever is going on, everyone is apparently in on it except for her.

“Yeah, just you. It’ll be quick, and then we can go to the airport.”

Momo follows the pull of Mina’s hand out of the vehicle, and then Mina stops them a few yards away and asks Momo to close her eyes.

“You can open them when you feel your phone ringing, okay?”

Momo readily agrees, intrigued by Mina’s mysterious instructions. 

It’s nice to close her eyes and notice the calm of the world now, in stark contrast to the turmoil she had almost grown accustomed to being immersed in when she was miserable and lonely and missing Mina so terribly. The world is quiet here. And her heart is whole again.

The phone vibrates in her back pocket and Momo fishes it out, finally opening her eyes. Mina pops into the screen in a FaceTime call and Momo stops breathing as her heart leaps inside her. The surroundings, the sunset, the nervous but playful beam; it’s all there.

“Hi, Momo.”

This is it. The person she would always choose, if the universe gave her a choice.

“Hi, Mina.”

-

[Timing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494864/chapters/33297759)


	9. ...timing

Momo begins to think a lot about timing.

-

Impulsively, Momo steps inside Mina’s dressing room and boldly pulls Mina after her; the space is compact, functional, and barely wide enough to fit two people, but she figures they can manage to share one. Mina’s half surprised, half amused smile prompts Momo to smirk, “oh, you thought I’d miss the chance to help you take that off?” And the girl’s ensuing laugh, ringing as pure as sunshine and as clear as water, makes the momentary discomfort worth it.

Once Mina has carefully locked the door behind her, she seems to glance around their small surroundings before blushingly zipping open her gown bag. Reading her mind, Momo remarks snidely, “are you remembering what we did last time we were both in a dressing room, too?” The blush deepens and darkens in a wordless admission, and it’s Momo’s turn to laugh. “So,” she begins conversationally, setting down her bags and pulling Mina closer, because thankfully there’s no rush for them to join the others, “you were talking about how last time you got drunk, you got married. How did that turn out for you?”

The question is meant to be carefree and humored, but in the second that follows it, an unexpected wave of vulnerability grips Momo, taking her aback with how much she needs to hear a positive answer from Mina, even if the original comment was a joke, even if they’re going to laugh about this afterwards.

Mina seems to have no qualms in answering with a teasing shrug, “it turned out pretty great, actually.”

The relief that washes over her is so powerful that Momo takes a steadying breath and ponders briefly that it’s alarming how Mina’s words can make her feel simultaneously so strong and so fragile. She resumes their earlier topic with a small smile and a nudge. “You didn’t tell me what you want for your birthday.”

Momo picks up a series of tiny tells that hint at some kind of conflict taking place inside Mina’s mind—a barely perceptible furrow of her eyebrow, the way she’s almost blushing again, this time apparently from nervousness rather than embarrassment—and sifts through her mental catalogue of Mina expressions to piece together what all of this means, until Mina clears her throat and answers quietly, “I want to tell the others about us.”

This is definitely not what Momo expected her to say, as she’s always assumed Mina would be mortified by the mere idea of other people knowing about them, so she blinks back her bewilderment to ask, “really? You do?”

“Have any of the members asked you about us?” Mina poses back curiously, instead of responding.

“Like, directly? No.” At the careful pursing of her lips, Momo can assume Mina’s own answer without the girl having to verbalize it. “Who asked you? Tzuyu?”

Mina nods, averting her gaze with visible anxiety. “She’s asked me a couple of times. And the first few times, I was telling her the truth, because we really weren’t together; nothing was happening.” She raises her chin to face Momo and at the sight of her melancholic eyes, Momo swallows down an empathetic tug in her gut. “But last time she asked, it was after we came back from Japan, so I lied to her. And it felt terrible.”

“We can tell everyone, if you want to,” Momo states firmly, hand automatically enclosing Mina’s in a reassuring grip. “I didn’t think you wanted to, and I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“So it’s okay with you?” Mina checks worriedly, compelling Momo to squeeze her hand just a tad tighter while giving her a meaningful nod, because of course it’s okay; Mina could ask her for her organs and it’d be embarrassing how quickly Momo would say yes. 

Making note of the faint rumble of applause from outside the dressing room and of the soft way her own heart is beating, Momo asks further, “is there anything else you want us to do that you haven’t told me?” 

“No,” Mina replies with the sort of obvious affection that makes Momo feel slightly light-headed. “You already do everything I want.” Momo is unable to help shooting Mina an exaggeratedly seductive wink that earns her a sweet, full-bodied laugh in response. “Yes, in that way, too, but also in everything else.”

Her throat goes a little thick when she thinks about how badly she would like to kiss Mina in this moment, and it’s only the high probability of smeared lipstick and smudged foundation that anchors her in place; it’d be ill-mannered to have to ask the makeup unnies to retouch them again. She settles for crossing her arms in a sad attempt to restrain herself from reaching out to Mina, who raises a questioning eyebrow as though privy to Momo’s thoughts.

And then it really is like Mina is roaming her mind and identifying every one of her impulses, because she’s the one who smiles and lowers her voice to instruct, “stay still, okay? Don’t move.”

Momo frowns at the request and her arms drop to her sides automatically. Her heart beats once, twice, and then its thud slows to a hum when Mina leans forward to press the gentlest kiss Momo has ever had. The contact is barely there, soft like a secret being whispered against her lips. But the feather-light burn of it seems to consume her whole, sweeping through each of her nerve endings—a stark reminder that this is what she became addicted to first. She kissed Mina and everything else followed that. 

When Mina does pull back, she’s beaming self-assuredly and Momo blinks away the haze of lingering sensations and the urge to ask Mina to kiss her again.

“Not one smudge,” she declares proudly. “Your makeup is un-ruined.”

And the words weigh heavily on Momo’s tongue now, wanting to leap from her, and she could say them right now; the same words that swim in her veins every time she looks at Mina, every time she hears Mina’s voice, every time Mina touches her. The words are there, and they’re distinct and true and Momo feels them so intensely it makes her breath catch in her throat, but she reminds herself that this is not the occasion (can’t be five minutes after a performance), and this is not the place (can’t be inside a cramped dressing room); thus, this is not the right time.

When they finally exchange their outfits and join the other members at their designated table, Momo inquires fondly, watching Mina and Jihyo laugh at one of Sana’s jokes, “so what did we miss?”

A helpful Jeongyeon informs, “there was a dance number from a trainee group, and GOT7 performed, but that was it. So, not much. You guys were amazing, though.”

-

TWICE’s ever-lengthening schedule of commitments ahead of their concert in Chile and the release of _What is Love?_ includes two consecutive 16-hour work days after which an exhausted Momo is struggling to keep her eyes open as she awaits for her noodles to be ready for consumption, while also skimming through a list of Spanish terms and phrases that have been translated and spelled phonetically, meant to assist them when they travel to Santiago in less than a week. Their management has compiled similar language cheaters every time they’ve ventured into a foreign destination, and the girls have always made some attempt to learn key phrases.

“Hey, loser,” Momo hears Nayeon greet while entering the kitchen, and she grunts an acknowledgement without raising her eyes from her translation list. “Is that the Spanish cheater they gave us?”

“Yeah… it’s really hard,” Momo murmurs in response, sparing Nayeon a quick look and catching sight of her unwrapping a tea satchel. She, Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Dahyun are the only ones in the dorm this late afternoon; every other member is still out in other appointments.

“How was your outfit fitting today?” Nayeon asks with interest while filling a mug with hot water, and Momo turns her attention back to the list, because her noodles still have about two minutes to go.

 _¿Como se llama?_ Momo reads off in her mind, trying to memorize the order of the letters and wondering how badly her pronunciation would be if she were to try out the phonetic guide and read this out loud. “It was fine. Tiring,” she responds distractedly. 

_Hola Onces, somos TWICE_ , she continues, immersed in the intricacies of a new language, and silently thanking her luck that at least her Korean is significantly better than it used to be. 

“And how’s the choreography training with Mina?”

 _Me llamo Momo._ “It’s going well,” she mumbles absentmindedly.

“And the charity thing—you’re still helping her, right? How’s that?”

 _Buenos días… buenas noches… buenas tardes…_ “It’s good.”

“And how’s the sex?”

 _¿Como están hoy?_ “It’s great.”

_¿Cuanto cuesta esta comida? Puedo comer…_

Momo halts abruptly, dread-filled eyes snapping with nearly violent speed to the girl in front of her, who is currently stirring the contents of her mug while watching Momo with the biggest shit-eating grin ever worn by a human person.

The rush of panic and terror that overcomes Momo is so potent that it seems to punch her in the face—her jaw drops and her heart stops mid-beat as she ponders fleetingly that this is what it must feel like to have your soul leave your body. “Oh my God,” she breathes out staggeringly, entire body frozen by shock. “Mina is going to kill me.”

She barely registers that Nayeon has burst into laughter; she’s too preoccupied with grabbing the kitchen counter top to prevent herself from fainting with horror. 

Nayeon laughs for a full minute, clutching her sides and nearly wheezing for air every time she peeks in Momo’s direction and no doubt spots Momo’s tenuous hold on life, before she’s finally able to gasp out, “I’d totally kill you too—I can’t believe you let that slip.”

Now finding herself increasingly dumbfounded and aghast, Momo waits until Nayeon’s laughter simmers down and then blurts out, “how did you know? Did you see us going into the garage or something?”

“Why would you go...” Nayeon begins with a frown, which immediately deepens into some appalled aversion of her own, in stark contrast to her endlessly delighted chortling only a minute before. “Wait, seriously? You had sex in our vans?!”

Immediately, Momo stiffens with alarm, almost nauseated by the stupidity of her latest inadvertent reveal. Before Nayeon’s aggravated reaction can worsen any further, Momo informs hastily, “we just didn’t want you guys to hear, and I was kind of loud in the beginning—”

“Well, obviously _Mina_ wouldn’t be the loud one—”

“—and I swear we’re going to tell everyone; Mina wants to and she’s just waiting for everyone to be together, so please don’t kill us and please don’t tell anyone until Mina does.”

To her credit, Nayeon doesn’t gleefully skip away from the kitchen to grab a loudspeaker and announce her latest findings to the rest of the members (as Momo’s nightmare-prone imagination anticipated); she seems to digest Momo’s plea for a moment, and then raises a bewildered eyebrow. “You know we all already—never mind,” she cuts off, sighing with some renewed amusement. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise, and I’ll pretend to be surprised when you guys do come clean. But yes, you two should stop hiding. And for the record, you have my blessing.” She eyes Momo carefully, eyes brightened by a strange mix of concern and approval. “I can see you’re both happy, and I think Mina got more confident in herself after this thing with you started.”

Momo can’t quite come up with an appropriate response for that, so she resorts to providing a small nod. Her near cardiac arrest appears to have subsided, and she picks up her discarded Spanish cheater sheet while nervously studying Nayeon out of the corner of her eye for any signs that the girl will start laughing again.

Instead, Nayeon appears to mull something over and abruptly asks, “which of the vans did you guys use, though? All of them?”

Momo almost drops the sheet in a jolt from her lingering shock, and throws the girl a faint-hearted glare. “Can we not talk about this? I haven’t recovered from my heart attack yet.”

“Fine, fine,” Nayeon assents, casually and untroubled, resuming her tea-stirring. Momo remembers suddenly that her noodles have long been ready, and rises from her seat to make her way to the stovetop. “So… Mina made you loud, huh?”

Momo promptly trips and spills her bowl.

-

If Momo could travel through time without any apocalyptic consequences, she would never, ever play soccer that day at the beach, or would at least suggest a sport less likely to destroy her shin.

-

TWICE concludes a half-day shoot at the beach for their Pocari Sweat advertisement, and Momo finds herself moderately sullen when she remembers that most of the members are either scheduled for their individual segments of the video later today (as is the case with Mina and Sana), or are otherwise due for other appointments in the remainder of the afternoon, including Nayeon and Jihyo, who are heading to the recording studio while Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu have outfit fittings. 

When Jeongyeon, Dahyun, and Momo realize they are the sole members with no impending obligations, Momo convinces the set manager to allow them to carry on an impromptu soccer match on the boardwalk. Momo volunteers to be the goalkeeper, and almost collapses in laughter watching Dahyun and Jeongyeon put on their best impressions of professional soccer players, nearly tripping in their ungraceful attempts to dribble and maneuver the ball across their makeshift field.

Momo is able to divert a number of weak or badly-aimed shots, and after a particularly impressive save, is jokingly waving to the imaginary cheers from the imaginary occupants of their stadium, which is why she is completely unprepared when Dahyun and Jeongyeon swiftly dribble their way to her. In the blur of movements that follows her attempt to kick the ball away from the two girls, she’s abruptly slammed by a kick of unexpected force that strikes her squarely on the shin. The pain stings her so immediately that Momo yelps and literally falls back, clutching her leg and wincing while attempting to blink back tears.

She can dimly pick out select portions of her bandmates’ panicked dialogue beside her—something that sounds a lot like “she’s going to kill you, Dubu. And she plays so many shooting video games that you know she knows how to do it”—but the pain distracts her as it throbs and throbs and _throbs_ , and Momo can’t seem to soothe it away even as she tries to massage the aching area, and it’s only when she squints her eyes open and realizes Jeongyeon is making a phone call while Dahyun is now dashing towards the set medic, that her mind snaps back into focus.

Mina. 

Mina is going to be worried. 

It’ll distract her from her performance in the video filming and will mess up her work day and _no no no no_ —

“No, Jeong—stop,” Momo coughs out, sitting up and shoving aside the pain to address the puzzled girl. “No, please don’t tell Mina.” Realizing quickly that singling out Mina would raise some red flags, she amends immediately, “don’t tell anyone, please. I’ll tell everyone when we get back to the dorm. Please. Hang up.”

Jeongyeon complies worriedly and then kneels to face Momo just as Dahyun is rushing back with the medic and a large bag of ice, and Momo hates the blast of cold against her skin the minute she lays the bag on her shin, but is even more dismayed when she notices that the area is already bruising with an ugly reddish and purplish welt. 

Later, when she’s in their room—wishing she could pace about as an outlet for her anxiety, resenting that her aching shin doesn’t allow it—and her ears perk at the girls’ return to the dorm, Momo hides the ice pack under the bed and rolls down her sweatpants to conceal the swollen welt, seconds before Mina emerges in the doorway.

“Hey, is everything okay?” the girl asks immediately after gently closing the door behind her. “Dahyun and Jeongyeon kind of ran off when we all came in.”

If asked, Momo can’t explain why she’s dreading this so badly, telling Mina about her relatively minor, very much temporary injury. Some corner of her mind yells loudly in response that it’s because if this were to ever happen to Mina, Momo would faint for several hours, but she shoves that thought aside to clear her throat and provide the answer she’s already rehearsed.

“So, um… something happened. Well, I did something. Kind of bad, sort of. It was my idea.” Okay, this is already not how she had practiced this—Mina’s arched eyebrow, loudly signaling her concern, is almost distracting in how much it makes Momo wish [this bruise](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgkj2gRAnrG/?taken-by=twicetagram) could disappear in the next 5 seconds. “Before I tell you what happened, I just have to remind you that I could have done a lot of worse things.” Mina’s expression shifts and is now decidedly more inscrutable, and an uneasy Momo wants to decipher it because she can usually read Mina so well and can’t read her at all right now, but she’s also just begun to actually go through the speech she rehearsed, so she plows on nervously. “I know sometimes I don’t think things through and I do dumb things and place myself in bad situations, and you’re not going to like this, but anyway, there are worse things, you know,” and halfway through that sentence something whispers inside her heart that Mina is swallowing hard and her eyes are clouding over and she seems to have taken a step back, and that same whisper asks her to stop talking, but she’s just now getting to the part where she can hopefully put things into perspective so Mina won’t be as distressed when Momo finally reveals the truth. “I mean, tell me something I could do that would upset you.”

Momo waits after her question, already preparing her response for what she knows Mina is going to answer; she’ll guess that Momo lost one of their backpacks and she’s in trouble with JYP for the loss of equipment, or that she spilled make-up onto one of Mina’s $3,000 coats, or that she accidentally took a selfie with a member of the Korean mafia and is embroiled in a huge political scandal; she’ll guess something awful and then Momo’s own news won’t seem as terrible—it’s a perfect plan, it really is; Mina just needs to shoot her guess.

Momo waits. And then Mina—quieter than usual, as though avoiding the sound of her own voice, finally guesses.

“Did you… kiss someone else?"

The pain that squeezes Momo’s chest is so pronounced it rips the air from her lungs.

It’s difficult, suddenly, to use her voice. It’s like her throat has been coated in hundred-year-old rust in the span of the past second. She opens her mouth to say _something_ , but the words fail her and all she finds herself able to do is gape at the apprehensive girl in front of her.

“What…?” Momo finally breathes out, baffled and submerged in Mina’s battered gaze. “No, I would never—I don’t _want_ to—wait, really? That’s the first thing that came to your mind?”

Mina betrays a miniscule flinch, something Momo would have missed, had she blinked. “No, it’s just that you’re making this seem like a horrible thing, and that’s the worst thing I could think of—”

_That’s the worst thing I could think of that’s the worst thing I could think of that’s the worst thing I could think of_

The thought of kissing anyone but Mina is unfathomable, like imagining the end of infinity. And the thought of Mina kissing anyone but her makes her feel as though something vicious is trying to scratch its way out of her chest.

Momo interjects instantly, unwilling to let her believe for even another second that her guess is correct, because it could never be correct, Momo would never—

She unceremoniously lifts her pant leg, revealing the large, purpling injury. “I hurt myself. I bruised my leg.”

Mina’s horrified eyes soak in the newly-exposed sight for a single second while her mouth drops open. “Oh my God, Momo! Did a sledgehammer hit your shin?”

“No, Dahyun, Jeongyeon, and I were playing soccer after the video shoot and I got kicked by accident,” and then Momo has to stop, and has to clench her fists and her jaw, because _that’s the worst thing I could think of_ keeps replaying in her mind like the words are plucking at a wound in her heart. She holds Mina’s gaze once the girl chances a look away from the garish bruise. “Listen, can we just talk about… I wouldn’t kiss anyone else. You know that, right? I don’t want to and I wouldn’t do it.”

Mina looks even smaller, even frailer, as she steps back and seems to wish she could be swallowed by the wall behind her. “I know. I wouldn’t kiss anyone else, either. It was just a guess.”

And that’s what burns her up inside, really; that the thought of Momo kissing someone else even occurred to her. It sparks a sort of desperation inside Momo, the idea that this conversation would never be taking place had Mina known the scope and depth of Momo’s feelings for her. If it were possible to pour her feelings into Mina, or to allow Mina a glimpse into her heart and her mind—so she could witness how extensively she’s molded Momo and the way she sees herself and sees her future and the person she’d like to be—Momo would do it, and then maybe the idea of kissing other people would be as unimaginable for Mina as it is for Momo.

This is not at all how she wanted this to unfold; this is not quite the right place (can’t be inside their tiny dorm room, with everyone else just outside the door), or the right time (can’t be after such an awful conversation), but maybe this is the only way; maybe this has to be it.

“Mina, I would never do that,” Momo begins seriously, rising from the bed with a small limp to approach Mina; “because actually, I—”

She’s loudly interrupted by Nayeon, bursting through the door as though she were part bulldozer, part wrecking ball, trailed closely by a worried Jihyo.

“Let me see the damage,” Nayeon commands briskly, and Momo timidly turns her leg to afford the two girls a better view, cringing at their immediate reactions. “ _Holy shit_ , JYP is going to be pissed.”

“Momo, did you ice that at all? Did you talk to the medics?” Jihyo queries in shock.

Before Momo has a chance to explain, Nayeon quips under her breath, “Dahyun’s still alive so you either haven’t told Mina yet how this happened or she’s more forgiving than we thought.”

And then Momo cringes even further when an outraged Mina is the one who speaks up then.

“ _Dahyun_ did this?”

“Oh,” Nayeon shrugs half-heartedly as Mina storms off in the direction of the maknae room and Momo pinches the bridge of her nose. “So you just hadn’t told her yet. Got it.”

-

Momo laughs uninterruptedly for an entire five minutes one day, when a startled Mina drops her coffee on the sidewalk after they step out of the JYPE recording studio and find out that one of her fan organizations has purchased what looks like a gazillion [posters](https://78.media.tumblr.com/95f95e5409983299248b194a1caf0194/tumblr_pcraijRC9D1vymbnlo1_400.jpg), several feet tall and emblazoned with Mina’s face, to hang from every single lamp post in every street for three blocks in celebration of her birthday.

“Momo, you can stop now,” Mina says flatly, just as Momo is pointing to a poster, then to her spilled coffee, before doubling over in laughter again. “Okay, I can see we’re going to be here a while. I might as well get myself another coffee.”

-

TWICE plods through the next two days with barely any sleep, and when they finally board their day-long flight to Santiago, most girls promptly doze off. Momo wakes up ten hours into the flight and is dismayed to find that they’re barely halfway to their destination. On the seat beside her, Mina is soundly asleep—as is almost every other girl—so Momo munches on a snack bag and retrieves her laptop from her carry-on luggage to make several sad, ill-fated attempts to complete the [videogame](https://twitter.com/UnderneathTree/status/976331928004476928) that another one of Mina’s fan organizations developed for her birthday.

She’s releasing a disheartened sigh and debating whether to try another round, when she hears Mina query quietly, “is that my birthday game?”

“Yeah, it is,” Momo confirms with an upbeat smile, now that Mina is awake. “I was one of the pre-orders.”

“Of course you were,” the girl chuckles with amusement, straightening on her seat to obtain a better view of the laptop screen. “Our media people had told me about it but I was waiting until we got back to Korea to play it.”

“I’m horrible at it,” Momo admits matter-of-factly, entirely unenthused by her continuous defeats.

“Really? I’m shocked.” It’s transparently sarcastic and well-humored, and the teasing smile that accompanies the statement plants a warm, blooming weight firmly in the middle of Momo’s chest. 

“While you’re laughing at me, little Mina keeps dying on her way to her birthday party,” Momo reprehends lightly, making an extraordinary effort to keep from laughing. “Your fans are such nerds,” she adds, settling for smiling at Mina when the girl nudges her elbow. “Just like you.”

Mina feigns some mild affront at the comment; “you’re supposed to like that I’m a nerd.”

And this makes Momo think about it again—that she could tell Mina right now that what she feels is so much grander than “like” in all of its scope and dimension, and she could say the words right now, she really could.

But the same anxious fear grips her again, that this isn’t the right place (can’t be in an airplane) or the right time (can’t be midflight to South America). So she tucks the words back from the tip of her tongue to the space between her ribs and her heart.

“Put your nerd skills to some use and help me win this, please.”

-

If Momo could travel through time without any apocalyptic consequences, she would go back to the day TWICE landed in Santiago. She would make sure she stares at her watch and knows what time it is, so when it’s noon in Chile but already midnight in Korea, she can [beat Chaeyoung](https://twitter.com/myouiwaddles/status/984035905009737728) (that little rascal) to the punch and be the first to wish Mina a happy birthday.

-

It takes a lot of coordination to prepare something for Mina’s birthday once the TWICE members realize that they have only a 4-hour window of free time that day amidst all their concert prep, and no spare time at all between their first sound and choreography run-through and the actual concert.

They elect to visit a mall in the city on the 23rd, and in a group text that excludes Mina, Momo is tasked—along with Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Sana—[with distracting Mina](https://twitter.com/MiMo_Heart_Beat/status/976975928847773696) while the other members select and commission a cake. Once the girls return to the hotel, Momo is light-hearted with pride that their plan seems to be progressing so swimmingly, and when she updates Nayeon and Jihyo that Mina is showering in their room, she is then promptly summoned to the lobby.

“Okay, so Sana, Jihyo, and Tzuyu are picking up the cake right now that we ordered, so your job is to keep post outside your room door,” a solemn Nayeon instructs Momo, as Jeongyeon, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung listen in. “Momo, she can’t get out, okay? She’ll go to one of our other rooms and when she doesn’t find anyone, she’ll figure out the surprise. So stay posted outside your door and don’t let her get out, okay?”

Resolutely, Momo nods her agreement, before Jeongyeon adds with a narrowing of her eyes, “and you can’t go in, either—you’re going to ruin the surprise if you do—I already know it—because you don’t know how to keep a secret from her.”

“Okay,” Momo assures firmly, “I won’t go in; I’ll just make sure she doesn’t get out.”

Now Nayeon is turning to the other members, and simultaneously typing into the same Mina-less group text. “Good; so then we’ll go in with the cake, all of us together, and then we’ll all say we love her and then she’ll blow the candles and we’ll do the kiss thing.”

The moment Momo processes each piece of information, her throat almost closes with panic. Her distress must be apparent because Dahyun turns to her to inquire curiously, “everything okay, Momo? You’re making the same face you did when we told you that chocolate milk doesn’t come from brown cows.”

 _Crap crap crap_ —she has to go, she has to go _immediately_ before the cake arrives.

“Um, everything is great. Really, really great.” Crap crap crap crap—she can actually feel herself paling; “I’m going to go, um, guard the door. Right now. And then you guys can text wherever you are, and I’ll know. Please do text wherever you are, though.”

“Momo, don’t go in, or you’ll ruin the surprise,” Nayeon admonishes again, and Momo swiftly nods and takes off, anxiously attempting to calculate how much time she has to do this.

She storms into the room after dashing from the elevator to the doorway, to find Mina exiting their bathroom after concluding showering and clothing herself. “Hey,” the girl greets warmly upon catching sight of Momo, who, in a quick, efficient motion, approaches her but then immediately halts.

Whenever she had daydreamed and planned this conversation before, she’d pictured herself in a much more composed state, in complete control of her surroundings and circumstances, and—much more importantly—with more time.

But she’s postponed this in three different occasions and yes, this is not quite the place she had imagined (a hotel room across the world from home), or the time she had pictured (in a rush, just before the other girls burst in), but this is what she has, and maybe there really was never a right place or right time; maybe the timing would always have been right since she first saw the shape of the words her heart already knew.

“Listen, Mina,” a breathless, jittery-nerved Momo begins while Mina instantly frowns with concern, “I have to tell you something, and it has to be right now because in a couple of minutes I’ll have to say it with everyone and that can’t be the first time I say it to you.”

“Momo, what are you talking ab—”

A quick flash from her phone screen alerts her that she’s received a text that kicks off another panicked wave of worry ( _‘we got the cake!’_ ), and Momo has to interrupt her to add, “I’m sorry that I’m pretty much blowing the surprise but when everyone comes in, you have to act surprised anyway, okay—you have to act really shocked so they don’t kill me—”

Mina has always been the smartest and brightest of them, which unnerves Momo even further when she realizes Mina is watching her as though assessing whether she has a fever. 

And it does, sort of, feel like a fever. The agitation that is surging and rushing through her veins pulls her in opposing directions; insecure and brave, rattled and calm. As she focuses on Mina’s puzzled gaze, Momo swears she catches a glimpse of their entire story together inside the glint of her eyes, from the original tentative beginnings of a friendship back when they were trainees, to _“Hi, Momo,”_ and then to now, to this moment. And then it’s inevitable, really.

“What are you—”

“Mina, I love you. A lot. For a long time now, but I didn’t say it before because I was waiting for the right—” Her screen flashes again and, “oh my God, how are they already in the elevator?—sorry; anyway, I shouldn’t have waited, because I do love you and I love everything about you, and even the things you don’t like about yourself—I love those things too—” Another flash ( _‘what room are you guys in again?’_ followed by _‘never mind; Tzuyu told us’_ ) and now Momo is sure time has somehow sped up to a breakneck pace and she’s not sure she can keep up; Mina is still watching her with something that looks a lot like a mix of surprise and disbelief, and there’s a budding curve on her lip that seems like the preamble to a smile, but Momo’s too panicked to study that and settles for taking hold of Mina’s hand between them instead. “And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before but I promise I’ll say it a lot more from now on to make up for that—” Her eyes flit down at her phone screen again and she raises her eyebrows so violently that she can feel the strain on her facial muscles. That budding curve blossoms into an actual smile now that is so lovely it starts to squeeze Momo’s heart in a way that is almost painful, but, “holy shit, are they flying or something—how can they already be in the hallway?”

Briskly, Momo pockets her phone before continuing with urgency, already moving back towards the room door, balancing the need to resume her role in this operation while distracted by the love that makes her stomach sweep at the sight of Mina’s happy grin. “Please act shocked when we all come in, okay—I gotta go, I’m so sorry—I love you so, so much, you have no idea—” She risks an extra second to place the briefest kiss on Mina’s lips, resuming her exit with a rushed apology, all of her words kind of blurring together as she tries to get them all out in a single second and through a single breath; “act surprised when they come in or they’ll kill me, okay—Iloveyoubye.”

She barely shuts the door behind her and has no time to gather as much as a single breath—all other 7 TWICE members emerge from the corner of the hallway and into view.

With a small chin motion and a raise of her eyebrow, Nayeon silently asks whether Mina is still inside the room, something that Momo readily confirms while cautiously wiping some nervous sweat from her forehead. And then their operation unveils its surprise when TWICE fills the room and Mina does, in fact, look very surprised. She’s smiling and blushing prettily at the sung happy birthday but her eyes linger on Momo, who can’t help sharing a laugh at the success of their plan while simultaneously wishing very, very badly she could stare at Mina or be alone with her. When the members assemble into a choir of “we love you, Minari,” Mina bites her lip with amusement and Momo assumes she’s pieced things together sufficiently to understand Momo’s mad dash earlier.

“All right, Mina; make a wish,” Jihyo nudges her brightly, while every other member offers some variation of the same encouragement.

Mina looks down at the candles sheepishly, arguing back weakly, “I don’t have anything to wish for; I already have everything I want.”

Momo’s heart leaps and soars inside her and she purses her lips to contain a smile that would give her away.

“That’s no fun,” Nayeon huffs disapprovingly. “Make a wish anyway, then.”

“Wish for Nayeon to speak less nonsense in her sleep,” Jeongyeon pipes up, and a round of laughter erupts when Nayeon swats her arm, made louder and more intense when Sana quips, “wish for Dahyun to stop wearing homeless person pajamas in public.”

Mina glances at the candles once again, now almost halfway melted. Then, she raises her eyes to meet Momo’s own across the flame-lit space between them, and wordlessly asks her a question. Momo answers it without any hesitation; she nods supportively and hopes Mina can feel at least part of the love flaring out from Momo’s heart in her direction.

The action seems to tug a corner of Mina’s mouth, who proceeds to carefully blow the candles and then immediately discloses, “um, there is something, actually, that I want. Which is to tell you guys something important, that I feel you should know.”

Each member is watching Mina blankly, although a shallow indentation on Tzuyu’s cheek betrays that she’s close to smiling.

“Momo and I... um...” Momo discreetly shifts on her feet, almost as a subconscious maneuver to approach Mina without actually moving, hoping that if Mina’s courage falters, she can face the world with her and help her through the announcement. “We’re, um, together.”

There’s a small pause of silence during which Momo notices uneasily that no one’s faces is registering any change in expression. In fact, everyone appears to be waiting for Mina to continue, which... is not what Momo was expecting.

“Is that it?” an almost disappointed Sana is the one to break the silence, trading an expectant look with Jeongyeon beside her.

“She means,” Momo steps up to clarify, guessing this might be a case of the members being so shocked by disbelief that they’re unable to digest this reveal, “that we’re actually together. As in, a real couple.”

“Well, we knew that,” Chaeyoung says slowly and with a small frown. 

“Yeah, we’ve known for a long time,” Jihyo confirms with an easy shrug.

And now it’s Momo’s turn to shoot Mina a baffled glance that is readily returned.

“What do you mean, you’ve known?” Mina questions, equal parts confused and alarmed.

Then, it’s as if all the other members seamlessly weave a tapestry of questions that spotlights just how long they’ve been aware of Mina and Momo’s closeness, and it gets embarrassing very, very quickly.

Jeongyeon kicks that off with, “wait, you thought you had hidden this from us?”

Nayeon promptly joins in with a skeptical, “you two thought you were being subtle?”

“You thought kicking everyone out of the dorm so you could be alone was being subtle?” is Sana’s incredulous contribution, and Mina’s blush is so pronounced that Momo wonders if her own face is in a similar state. 

Jihyo follows Sana with a bewildered, “you thought staring at each other whenever we practice was subtle?” 

But then Dahyun aims her attention at Momo, who immediately stiffens; “you thought going into her dressing trailer and then sneaking out 20 minutes later and pretending you weren’t in there the whole time was subtle?”

“Awww,” Sana coos with a chuckle, “look at their faces. They really thought we didn’t know.”

“Although Tzuyu hasn’t said anything so I’m guessing Mina told her ahead of time,” Chaeyoung concludes with scary accuracy, and is proved right when the maknae breaks an assenting smile.

Momo realizes that her mouth has been open with shock for the duration of this entire exchange, and now she self-consciously slams it shut the minute a bashful Mina glances at her again.

“Okay, now that we got that out of the way,” an obviously entertained Nayeon declares, “Mina, I believe we have a tradition to uphold.”

Of course Momo assumes everyone will collectively surround Mina to place the customary kisses on scattered locations of her body, but a millisecond after her own approach, mid-motion as she’s practically tackling Mina into a hug, it dawns on her that everyone has more or less hung back. Mina yelps laughingly at the tight embrace, which tickles an affectionate flutter inside Momo; meanwhile, there are gagging noises surrounding them and Jeongyeon is querying with horror, “oh my God, is this how they’re going to be from now on?” while Dahyun is asking Sana to pluck her eyes out, Nayeon is making a comment to Tzuyu and Chaeyoung about being glad she hasn’t eaten anything yet so she can’t throw up, and Jihyo is resolutely declaring that there’s no way anyone is going to kiss Mina after witnessing this traumatizing scene. But amidst all these disparate sounds, Momo hears it whispered against her ear with the same softness and warmth that she’s associated with Mina since they met. “I love you, too, Momo.”

And every piece of the universe slides securely into place.

They part and Momo chances another look at Mina but now that she’s heard the words said back to her, a wave of affection soaks through her so thoroughly and strongly that she sort of swoons on the spot and finds out that she might actually like feeling weak from time to time, if the reason for her weakness is Mina.

“You know, I’m really the one responsible for this union so you should all thank me,” Sana announces, as smug as anyone has ever seen her be; “let me remind everyone that once upon a time, there existed a pepero cookie—”

Momo throws a crumpled towel that hits Sana’s leg but consequently allows Nayeon to speak up instead.

“No, let’s not forget that I’m the one who had the idea of switching Jeong’s and Mina’s beds—”

Another interrupting towel is tossed—this time by Mina, and a proud Momo high-fives her—but then Tzuyu jumps in more than happily to extend their cooperative mission of embarrassing them.

“I was the one who convinced Mina unnie to go bug Momo unnie about practicing their JYP routine so they could stop fighting—”

“Hey, I’m the one who always thought they looked like an aunt and uncle, so really, it’s me who should be taking credit—”

More towels are thrown before the action erupts into a blanket, pillow, and towel war waged by the members inside the room, with Nayeon and Sana pairing up with a stack of pillows against Mina and Momo and their pile of towels, and against Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu and their blankets and hotel soap bars, while the ever-responsible Jihyo narrowly dodges the projectiles to hide the cake.

-

“We need to lay some ground rules,” is how a stern Nayeon opens their conversation backstage, two hours before their concert. The other components of the “Elder Council,” Jeongyeon, Sana, and Jihyo, each flank her in agreement, while Mina appears completely caught off-guard by their approach. “Well, one rule. We know you two are going to be all over each other now, which is... fine. At least we’ll be on-theme for _What is Love?_ when you’re making everyone throw up with the way you act with each other. But! No more sex in the vans.”

If Momo had never previously witnessed someone suffer from a heart attack, she can now say she definitely has—Mina pales dramatically and practically stops breathing.

“Oh my God—you told them?”

“I accidentally told Nayeon,” Momo hastily explains, rolling her eyes after she shoots a daggered look in the girl’s direction, “which is the same as telling everyone, apparently.”

Nayeon is absolutely nonplussed, Mina is mortified, and everyone else is unconvinced when Momo attempts to clarify that they haven’t done anything remotely sexual in any van or trailer in a while, so Mina and Momo embarrassedly vow not to have sex in any communal space.

-

If Momo could travel through time without any apocalyptic consequences, she would elect to come back to the moment TWICE stepped onto the stage in Santiago, and were immediately greeted by a roar of cheer and applause so [deafening and enthusiastic](https://twitter.com/godmitzu/status/977335185413951488) that Momo wondered if it was heard across the Pacific Ocean and in their home in Korea. She would also come back to the moment she realized how freeing it was for Mina to tell their bandmates about their relationship; the moment Mina [blew her a kiss](https://twitter.com/MiMo_xygen/status/984277330561347587/video/1) on stage and almost caused Momo to faint. She would come back to all these moments; she would relive this night over and over again.

-

The first time around, Momo’s clothes never even come off.

It feels like drowning, in the very best way—the weightlessness and airlessness of it, the adrenaline-fueled impulsivity of it, of being unable to wait until they get around to removing anything other than Mina’s underwear before Momo has to be inside her. It feels like drowning when Momo is kissing Mina until her lungs burn, when things are hotter and more urgent than usual, and Mina’s entire body is heating up so quickly that Momo fleetingly wonders if they will melt into each other.

It feels like drowning when Momo blurts out in a breathless murmur against the shivering skin of Mina’s neck, “I really, really love you,” and Mina’s breathing hitches and the pounding of her heart becomes more pronounced, and Momo’s fingers inform her of how the words affect Mina. Now everything is harder and faster and Mina’s fistful-grip on Momo’s shirt tightens, holding her in place while Momo adds, her lips practically flush against her neck, so close that her teeth graze her skin; “I really love you, so, so much,” and then Mina is drowning with Momo, too. 

And then clothes are finally off in careless, rushed motions and Momo allows her mouth and hands to brush every inch of mole-speckled skin, engraving all the details of Mina’s shape in her memory so she can dream about them and remember them even when Mina isn’t with her, and she ponders that this is the closest she’s ever come to worshipping something.

In turn, Mina’s kiss sparks tingles and burns all over Momo’s body; the beat of her heart is made louder and more erratic by the kind of kissing that Momo thinks is too good, too intoxicating, too perfect; she doesn’t know how Mina knows how to kiss like this, and this works against her because she stubbornly tries to keep kissing Mina even though Mina’s hands are doing things that make it really, really hard for her to breathe.

“Wait; it’s your birthday—I want everything to be for you,” a dazed Momo more or less protests when her half-functioning brain remembers what her plan had been in the beginning.

“This _is_ for me,” Mina answers simply, lowering Momo’s underwear just a bit and kissing the exposed flesh as though she wants to drink the sunlight from Momo’s skin, and Momo realizes that yes, it feels like drowning, but it’ll never occur to her to swim to the surface and catch her breath.

-

If Momo could travel through time without any apocalyptic consequences, she would go back to the day Mina arrived at the trainee camp. First, she would approach Mina and tell her that a dance-obsessed girl is going to like her a lot; that they will be great friends and they’ll get married by accident and think it’s a disaster and quite possibly the worst incident of their lives, until it becomes the best. And then she would tell young Momo that in four years, she will like someone even more than she likes herself, that this someone will be the best person Momo has ever met, and that Momo will never want anyone else.

-

“I think this is the worst jet lag I’ve ever had,” Mina remarks idly as they share a plate of fruits Momo ordered from room service with a horrific, cringe-worthy stab at Spanish. It’s 5am in Santiago time but 5pm in Seoul time, and neither of them feels even minutely pulled towards sleep. “When are we supposed to be leaving again?”

“About 9am, I think,” Momo replies, partially concentrated on removing the seeds from a watermelon slice in Mina’s corner of the plate. When she glances up from her efforts, Mina is watching her with unhidden fondness and what Momo has decided is her favorite smile, from her favorite person. “How are you enjoying being 21, by the way?” 

“Well, you’ve been 21 longer, so how has it been for you so far?” she asks back after a humored chuckle, adjusting the sheet she’s holding against her bare chest as she reaches for another slice of fruit. 

Momo slows her chewing to consider the question, acknowledging suddenly how drastically her life changed in only a few months. In that moment, it’s almost like she has one eye throwing a sweeping glance at the past, at the days and months Mina shaped as they adjusted to their new situation; days and months that were simultaneously easy and hard, while her other eye is fixed on the future, on the days and months that will follow today. That’s the same eye that looks at Mina and sees in her the rest of Momo’s life, stretching in front of her. “It’s been a great age,” she murmurs, navigating the pleasant ache in her chest. “You may not know, but a week after I turned 21, I got married.”

Mina laughs easily at that. “And how did that turn out for you?” she poses—lovely in that breathtaking way that Momo figures she should have gotten used to by now—as a deliberate reminder of the conversation they had after their JYP Showcase performance.

“Not bad,” Momo shrugs casually; “I mean, have you seen my wife? She’s TWICE’s back-up visual.”

Immediately, Mina throws a grape in her direction that Momo readily dodges with a laugh of her own. 

“You know, we’re going to be the same age for a few months, so you can’t make fun of me like you usually do,” Mina reminds, shifting closer to Momo and reaching out to gently wipe something—presumably some errant piece of fruit—from Momo’s chin. “Anyway, to answer your earlier question…” She adjusts the bedsheet around her chest again and smiles brightly, “it’s going really well and I had a great birthday party.”

A tiny fragment of uncertainty sparks inside her and she clears her throat to ask quietly, “are you mad about how I told you for the first time that I love you?” This seems to throw Mina for a loop, and Momo clarifies, “because I was in a rush and it wasn’t well-planned—”

Mina’s hand darts out to envelop hers, instantly. “No, not at all; it was perfect,” the girl responds, and it’s easy and sure and effectively soothes Momo’s insecurities. “I was just surprised. Because I really thought I’d be the first to say it.”

And now Momo is the one taken aback, something she promptly expresses with a questioning frown. “Why would you be the first to say it?” Momo elaborates to prove her point; “I loved you first, so I love you more. Of course I’d say it first.”

Of all reactions Momo expected from Mina, the carefree laugh that ensues was definitely not one of them. 

“You definitely did _not_ love me first, Momo,” Mina argues with unsettling confidence, still laughing even though Momo’s frown is deepening. “When did it start for you?”

It’s hard to remember when it started, if Momo is being honest. She can’t pinpoint a pivotal incident; can’t identify the moment her heart made its choice. 

“I don’t know when it started,” Momo answers frankly, willing her voice to be steady even as a lump attempts to form inside her throat. “I just know when I noticed it.”

 _That_ , she will remember forever. Every single day of her life.

_(“Hi, Momo.”)_

“I noticed it when you were in Japan with Sana,” Momo continues, not quite able to meet Mina’s eye, slowly tugging on a bare grapevine. “You two did this V-Live stream in a park and I thought about how much I wished I was with you. And then I wished really badly that you’d call me. Like it was going to break my heart if you didn’t.” She finally raises her gaze, and the sight of an attentive Mina, smiling faintly as she follows Momo from word to word, is enough to stir an impossibly-strong tremor of affection through her. “And then you did call me.” Momo wonders what would have happened if she had never watched that V-Live, if their timing had been different. When would she have noticed it? “What about you?” 

“When I woke up one day,” Mina mumbles reflectively, “and you were counting my moles.” Facing her fully now, Mina declares softly but steadily, “so I have you beat. By… two weeks? Yes, two weeks.” A softer murmur carries her next words to Momo. “So I guess that means _I_ love you more.”

Happiness pulls Momo’s face into a smile so wide that she thinks her lips might be permanently stuck like this.

“Does this mean you’re winning the cheesiness competition now?” Momo teases, conceding her defeat to Mina’s rationale.

“I heard you say my name in your sleep last night,” a mildly boastful Mina reveals, “so I know for a fact that you still dream about me. So no, Momo; I think you’re still winning.”

“You know,” a snide Momo decides to prod, raising a brow idly, “I noticed that me telling you I love you kind of... sped things up a bit...”

Making Mina blush, Momo decides, is as fun as dancing. As fun as winning an award. Almost as fun as kissing her. “I knew you’d get on my case for that,” Mina huffs, obviously flustered by her own reaction. “Fine. We’re tied.”

-

If Momo could travel through time without any apocalyptic consequences, she would go back to the moment Mina broached the topic of their divorce (“did you ever read those papers the lawyer gave us when we filed our taxes?”), attempting to provide Momo some useful information (“there are two versions; the top copy is the one where we divorce next month, and in the bottom one we divorce in November”); she would travel back to that moment so she could unfeel that initial wave of hurt, and would’ve been patient instead and waited for Mina to finish her explanation, because that’s when Mina impulsively kissed her and stated seriously, “you know I don’t actually want us to divorce, right? We’ll divorce because we signed legal papers agreeing to do that, but those papers are just a contract, Momo. I think we’re... more than that, right? We can stay together; I’d like to be with you, if you want that, too.” However, one thing Momo would not change is her own response—she kissed Mina and told her she doesn’t want to divorce her, either, and that she literally can’t imagine not staying together—or what she said afterwards: “you really are a nerd. I can’t believe you read 300 pages of legal paperwork.”

-

“They’re making fun of us,” Momo reports matter-of-factly as she and Mina split a sandwich backstage during one of their filming breaks the following week. The fact that they do this often now—set aside some time between the breaks to check on one another and share meals and talk—has become something of a running joke among the members and even the JYP crew, whose camera staff often comment that they can always find Mina wherever Momo is, and vice versa. Mina and Momo have made some weak attempts to protest, but eventually gave up.

Mina impassively observes the other members a small distance away from them, who are almost falling over in laughter while Dahyun and Nayeon are making exaggerated kissing motions, batting eyelashes, and dramatically swooning.

“Yeah, they are,” Mina deadpans. Their theory is confirmed when their fellow members literally point to them and laugh even harder. “Hey, you’re the one who’s swooning, right? That’s not supposed to be me, is it?”

“That’s totally you. You’re always making flirty eyes at me,” Momo replies casually, taking a gleeful bite from her half of the sandwich. 

-

It’s almost alarmingly easy to win game shows now that she’s consistently partnered with Mina and some sort of telepathic bond has been forged between them. 

In one particular Japanese variety show they attend in their _What is Love?_ promotional tour, Mina and Momo are partnered for a modified charades competition in which one member pulls a paper from a box containing a line from a TWICE lyric, and must act out the song to their counterpart without using any of the choreography or obvious word references.

The moment Momo draws out a paper that contains the lyric, “Love is timing,” from _Heartshaker_ , she almost bursts into laughter. This particular card would have been very difficult—she can’t sign a heart shape and the smallest part of the choreography would violate the rules—but Momo already knows what to do.

The clock starts to tick down their time allowance—a mere 10 seconds—and Mina immediately focuses on Momo’s movements and positioning. Momo quickly gathers her hands and motions as though she were breaking something small in half; then, she pulls out an imaginary strip of paper, and this is when Mina’s frown begins to ease into slow understanding. Momo points to herself, at which point Mina mumbles, “love is—” as Momo instantly holds up two fingers, indicating the second word. “Love is timing? Oh, _Heartshaker_!”

As Momo pumps her arm in celebration of victory and then cheerfully high-fives a laughing Mina, the two TWICE members lined up for their subsequent turn watch them with revulsion (Jeongyeon) and confusion (Sana).

“How in the world did she get _Heartshaker_ from that?” is all Momo picks up, too delighted to pay any further attention.

Later, in a subsequent game during which the members have to answer difficult questions about each other, Nayeon pulls a card and immediately grimaces. “‘How many moles are on Mina’s face?’” she reads, then throws all the members a defeated look. “I’m never going to get this one. Momo, help me cheat.” 

The whole situation becomes even funnier when Jihyo readily counters, “absolutely not,” and Jeongyeon quips cheekily, “yeah, Nabongs; just give up and lose with dignity,” which prompts another round of laughter.

The filming cuts into a break then, and Nayeon slides over to Momo to state innocently, “I guess I’m just going to marry Mina and find out,” much to Momo’s immediate aggravation. Her indignant scoff is apparently exactly the reaction Nayeon was hoping for, because she throws her head back in a lively laugh, and nudges Momo; “God, it’s so easy to make you jealous now. This is so much fun; [I should do this more often](https://twitter.com/twicett520/status/984005650563952641).”

All Momo can do is release a petulant, long-suffering groan. “ _Nayeonnnnn…_ ”

-

Momo’s not entirely sure why Mina had been so unnerved and anxious by the prospect of their dinner with the Hirais; on the evening of, she shows herself to be impressively well-mannered even through the occasional nervousness, clearly displaying her evolved maturity since the last time she interacted with Momo’s parents—who are relaxed even by Hirai standards. 

When Momo attends a dinner with the Myouis, on the other hand, she learns three things; one, that Mina is sometimes actually uncomfortable with her familial fortune. (“I know my parents’ house in Kobe is... um, _intimidating_. But please just look past that.” “So do I have to act like a snob to fit in with the Myouis?” “I’m not a snob and I’m a Myoui by blood, not marriage, so the answer to that is a definitive no.”) 

Two, that true to what Mina has suspected, the Myouis actually believed all along that their relationship had indeed always been real, and that their daughter had simply been too mortified and reserved to admit it.

And three, that the Myouis—or at least the younger ones—might have a type. (“My brother has a crush on you.” “Really?” “Momo, why do you look surprised? Ninety-percent of Asia has a crush on you. Anyway, when he sees us out, he’s going to tell a joke and I need you to laugh at it now so you don’t laugh at it when he tells it, otherwise I’ll never live this down.” “What’s the joke?” “That you married the wrong Myoui.”)

-

On the day of their divorce in early November, they’re in Tokyo and a JYPE-hired lawyer who watches Momo retrieve some tea for Mina and then watches Mina tenderly clean off a minor spill from Momo’s jacket, comments with admiration that “this is the most amicable divorce I’ve ever handled.”

Inside a vacated conference room, Momo is provided all her newly-updated government paperwork, and as she flips through her re-issued passport, she sighs with feigned despondency. “So it’s back to the old last name. I feel very poor suddenly.” Her humor is fueled further when Mina releases an unamused sigh beside her. 

There are things Momo hopes never change.

She hopes she continues to see the world through her feelings for Mina, in how they’ve made her more optimistic and hopeful.

She hopes Mina continues to look at her as though Momo were as essential to her life as air, and water, and food.

She hopes she never stops dreaming about Mina.

And she hopes Mina always has the same annoyed and amused reactions to Momo’s jokes about her wealth.

Momo adds in another display of dramatics, “I guess I’m just one of the peasants now—”

And then is readily cut off by the warm press of lips against hers; the lips whose taste and texture her skin has come to know so well, and love so much.

Dazed, she’s completely forgotten what she was talking about, and a victorious Mina nods cockily, “ha! That always works.”

Later, they’re being transported to the airport so they may embark on a flight back to Korea, but Momo notices now that she doesn’t quite recognize the route their driver has picked; she pushes that concern aside to turn to Mina and ask with a toothy grin, “hi; you look like a newly-single back-up visual for a k-pop girl group. Would you like to go out with me?”

Mina laughs happily and sweetly, like she’s the human embodiment of everything Momo loves in the universe. 

“I’m really glad we got married by accident first, because you’re the worst at asking people out, judging by what I’ve just witnessed.”

“I’m still waiting for an answer, Myoui.”

“You don’t mind dating a recent divorcee?” Mina asks, the allure of her smirk attracting Momo so strongly that she almost kisses her right then, only restraining herself when she dimly recalls that they’re in a company vehicle, very much in view of the driver.

“You just got divorced? How scandalous. Me, too.”

The car rolls to a stop in an unfamiliar part of the city, somewhere Momo wants to guess might be a nature preserve, or a park—Mina haughtily pulls her out of the vehicle and tells her to close her eyes. 

Momo complies but can’t help quipping, “if you’re planning on murdering me just because we’re not married anymore—”

There’s a laugh to reassure her that Mina is not, in fact, planning on killing her and disposing of her body in this park. “You’re so annoying, Momo.”

Blindly, Momo follows the pull of Mina’s hand until the girl halts and further instructs Momo to stand exactly where she is, and not to open her eyes until her phone rings.

The mystery of this endeavor intrigues Momo, who frowns but nods her assent and maintains her eyes shut nonetheless.

And then, a few seconds pass that Momo doesn’t quite count—because the weather is pleasant, and she’s charmed by the smell of freshly-cut grass and the unmistakable enthusiasm of early-morning bird chirping—until Momo does feel the heartbeat-patterned vibration of her phone. Mina is calling her.

Momo opens her eyes to raise the phone from her pocket and accepts Mina’s FaceTime call with some excited trepidation. Once the girl brightens into view on her screen, Momo is overwhelmed by a most pleasant pang of love. She almost can’t bring herself to smile; she just wants to stare.

At Mina’s proud grin, as bright as the sun’s rays adorning her.

At the moles she’s counted and will continue to count every day, even if their quantity never changes.

At the trees in the background, the scenery of which she now finds familiar. Mina’s exact placement in this shot being captured by her cellphone—Momo saw it once in her life, on a FaceTime call made a few minutes after a TWICE V-Live stream. 

Her heart recognizes it instantly.

“Hi, Momo.”

“Hi, Mina.”

-

[Choice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494864/chapters/33297162)


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter but you could probably write another whole 30-chapter fic just using the moments that have happened since the events of the last update, including [this one](https://twitter.com/chaengsthetic/status/983654266693812224/photo/1), [this one](https://twitter.com/chaengsthetic/status/992674969988485120?s=20/video/1), [this one](https://twitter.com/mimoslay/status/987636826004443136?s=20/photo/1), and of course the one that made me faint for 30min, [this one](https://78.media.tumblr.com/5f9cfa8c81a40eb560349c57ad70757e/tumblr_p64r1spVY11qmrscao1_500.gif).
> 
> P.S. I've gone back through the story and linked the actual gifs/videos/photos to some of the chapters, so future readers can know which parts were based on events that actually took place, in case anyone was curious.  
> P.P.S. Look out for the gifs in this chapter, too :D

**JYPE PRIVATE RECORD – TWICE HISTORICAL ARCHIVE.**  
**FULL TRANSCRIPT OF FOOTAGE COMPILED BY SON CHAEYOUNG.**

NOVEMBER 2017  
TWICE DORM - SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

  
**[JEONGYEON]**  
Okay, they’re in the vehicle. They just left.

**[JIHYO]**  
Oh my God. _Oh. My. God._ Mina and Momo—

**[NAYEON]**  
Chae, why are you recording us? Don’t tell me you’re _streaming this_??

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
No, unnie; I’m just recording it for us. I think this is huge; we should have a record for later on—

**[JEONGYEON]**  
They can’t be really married. There’s no way that video is real—

**[TZUYU]**  
Technology is really advanced, unnie; it could have been manipulated—

**[SANA]**  
It looked pretty convincing to me.

**[DAHYUN]**  
My eyes refuse to accept it—

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Do you think she meant it, all those times Momo unnie called Mina unnie her girlfriend?

**[TZUYU]**  
It can’t be real—

**[JIHYO]**  
Tzuyu has a point; they’re not even gay—

**[SANA]**  
Right. They’re not. Except for each other, apparently.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Sana—

**[SANA]**  
They literally made out in a casino. Very comfortably, I should add.

**[NAYEON]**  
They were also clearly drunk.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
They did look like... that wasn’t the first time they were kissing like that.

**[NAYEON]**  
Let’s stay on point. They were _drunk_. I don’t think they even remembered anything about that night.

**[JIHYO]**  
Tzuyu and I were in the hotel room when both of them woke up and it really didn’t seem like anything was different; they were acting completely normal and Mina didn’t even remember that Momo had been with her when she came in in the middle of the night. 

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Momo actually looked really shocked about having Mina’s last name.

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
And Mina unnie looked like she lost 10 years of her life when that video popped up.

**[SANA]**  
They also _made out_ in a casino—have I mentioned that yet or no?

**[JIHYO]**  
Please feel free to stop mentioning it.

**[DAHYUN]**  
Have the scientists come up with a way to unsee something?

**[SANA]**  
I’m just saying; if I got drunk, I wouldn’t just marry someone. Well, I might marry Dahyun.

**[DAHYUN]**  
Or Mina, or Tzuyu, or Momo, or Chaeyoung, or Nayeon—

**[SANA]**  
Yes, but I’d marry you first.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Do you think JYP is going to have the marriage annulled?

**[NAYEON]**  
It would make sense, but it’s not a regular marriage to begin with. Besides being between two girls, Mina is also American and they got married in another country... it might be a bigger international scandal if JYP has it annulled right away.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Sometimes you’re so smart.

**[NAYEON]**  
I surprise myself, too.

**[TZUYU]**  
I really think Mina unnie would have told me if she and Momo unnie were together.

**[JIHYO]**  
Whatever happens, we’re going to support them. And we’ll go along with whatever they say. So if they tell us they married because they really like each other, we don’t treat them any differently. And if they tell us they got married completely by accident and are still only friends, we’re not going to make comments disagreeing with them— _ahem_ , Sana—and we don’t treat them any differently either.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Yes. So no jokes about them. _Sana._

**[SANA]**  
You guys are taking all the fun out of this.

**[NAYEON]**  
And seeing how you can’t be trusted to not let some comment slip about how they’re supposedly really together, you are hereby prohibited from talking to them about... them.

**[SANA]**  
Raise your hand if you think Mina and Momo are actually together. Really? _Just me?_ Dahyun, don’t let me be here all alone—raise your hand too.

**[DAHYUN]**  
I’m not going to raise my hand just for solidarity—

**[NAYEON]**  
Chae, start a tally to keep track of our votes. Let’s see how this changes with time and who gets proven wrong.

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Okay, unnie.  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Sana  
NO: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu

-

DECEMBER 2017  
TWICE DORM - SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

  
**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
It’s a new camera, you know? I just put it to record—look; it has enhanced colors, and—

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Oh, hey, Jihyo, what’s goin—

**[JIHYO]**  
Mina somehow got Momo into knitting?? Momo?? Knitting?? Was I the last person to find out about this?

**[NAYEON]**  
Yeah, I saw them knitting together in their room earlier, too.

**[SANA]**  
I wonder what _other_ things Mina has gotten Momo into—

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Sana…

**[SANA]**  
Was no one else in the radio room when Mina started talking about how Momo gives her confidence and she likes herself more now and feels braver? Was I the only one?

**[TZUYU]**  
I asked Mina unnie whether there’s anything going on between her and Momo unnie and she seemed really surprised I was asking her that, and she told me there isn’t. I don’t think she’d lie to me.

**[SANA]**  
Maybe she’s just not comfortable with it yet. If I asked her, I think she’d own up to it—

**[NAYEON]**  
You are absolutely not going to ask her.

**[DAHYUN]**  
Sana is right, though; they do everything together and Mina doesn’t even mind being with Momo all day, and she usually likes being alone, so I think they might really be together.

**[SANA]**  
Ha! 

**[TZUYU]**  
Are you really changing your vote, Dahyun unnie?

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Tzuyu, how long did you think Dahyun was going to disagree with Sana; let’s be honest here—

**[DAHYUN]**  
Hey!  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Sana, Dahyun  
NO: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Jihyo, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu

-

EARLY FEBRUARY 2018  
FUKUOKA, JAPAN

  
**[NAYEON]**  
They’re not talking. Like, at all. It’s been a few days and it’s like they’re allergic to each other.

**[JIHYO]**  
What was with the room change?

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Momo volunteered to room with Nabongs and me as soon as we landed.

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
To avoid sharing a room with Mina unnie?

**[DAHYUN]**  
Wow. It must be really bad, then.

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Yeah, but whatever happened, I think it was on Momo’s part, not Mina.

**[TZUYU]**  
I asked Mina unnie again. And she was, um... insulted, I think. When I asked her why she and Momo unnie aren’t talking, she got kind of mad and told me to ask Momo.

**[SANA]**  
I’m telling you; they’re having some kind of lovers’ quarrel—

**[JIHYO]**  
They’re not lovers—

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Maybe Sana has a point. I’ve never seen either of them be like this. They’ve never had a fight with any of us like this. And Momo is miserable. I think there’s something between them. I’m going to change my vote.

**[NAYEON]**  
Jeong! Put your hand down!

**[SANA]**  
And then there were four…  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Jeongyeon, Sana, Dahyun  
NO: Nayeon, Jihyo, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu

-

LATE FEBRUARY 2018  
SAITAMA, JAPAN

  
**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
See? I just put it to record and I’ll shake it really hard and you’ll see how stable the image is—that’s why I’m taking this one to the theme park today instead of my other one—

**[JIHYO]**  
I’M CHANGING MY VOTE! I AM CHANGING MY VOTE!

**[NAYEON]**  
Why did you burst in looking like you had an out-of-body experience?

**[JIHYO]**  
I… can’t believe what I’m about to say, but I think I caught Mina and Momo making out on Mina’s bed just now.

**[NAYEON, SANA, TZUYU]**  
WHAT??

**[JEONGYEON]**  
You _think_ you caught them or you caught them?

**[JIHYO]**  
Well, I didn’t see them. I saw a _blur_ of Momo jumping from somewhere by Mina’s bed to mine while Mina stayed on her bed and I had to pretend I had no idea what was going on and god Momo is such a bad liar, but yeah; their clothes were all crumpled up and Momo must be a biter because Mina’s bottom lip—

**[DAHYUN]**  
I’m getting some secondhand trauma just hearing you describe that, so feel free to stop any time now.

**[JIHYO]**  
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

**[SANA]**  
Well, now we know what they’re going to be doing all day in the Myoui family palace.

**[NAYEON, JEONGYEON, JIHYO]**  
SANA!  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Jeongyeon, Sana, Jihyo, Dahyun  
NO: Nayeon, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu

-

EARLY MARCH 2018  
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

  
**[NAYEON]**  
Hey, where’s Jih—what are you three doing?

**[SANA]**  
Momo went into Mina’s trailer 15 minutes ago and we’re timing how long she’s going to be there. Chae is recording it so we can watch it later and laugh at them when Momo pretends she wasn’t in there. Hey, is this jelly made from apricots?

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Yeah, it is. Really good, right?

**[SANA]**  
Amazing.

**[DAHYUN]**  
We should get these all the time. Can we request this from catering?

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Oh, Nayeon unnie—I’m changing my vote, by the way. Mina unnie and Momo unnie are totally doing it.

**[NAYEON]**  
Chae!  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Jeongyeon, Sana, Jihyo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung  
NO: Nayeon, Tzuyu

-

MID-MARCH 2018  
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

  
**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
This is Son Chaeyoung, reporting from outside the TWICE dorm. It’s 11am and a cool 28C degrees on our first day off in about two weeks. And we’re, um... kind of locked out of the dorm.

**[JIHYO]**  
I can’t believe Momo thought I’d want to go shopping. I was so comfortable in my bed…

**[SANA]**  
Can we all just agree now that they’re together?

**[NAYEON]**  
Not this again...

**[SANA]**  
Momo literally kicked everyone out of the dorm to be alone with Mina. And what do you think they’re doing right now? Probably not _knitting_.

**[NAYEON, JEONGYEON, JIHYO, DAHYUN]**  
SANA!

**[DAHYUN]**  
I hope JYP pays for all the therapy I’ll need for what you just made me imagine.

**[JIHYO]**  
I need a neck massage for all the times I’ve had to look away really fast when I caught them undressing each other with their eyes.

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
I bumped into Mina unnie and Momo unnie this one time after they had changed in their trailers and they were acting normal but Mina unnie looked really… um, _flushed_.

**[DAHYUN]**  
I think my food is coming back up.

**[NAYEON]**  
Hey, what movie are you guys supposed to be watching?

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Some superhero movie… I really wish we weren’t pretending we don’t know about them so I could tell Momo that she could just ask us to leave them alone for a bit, and she wouldn’t even need to research movie times like she did.

**[NAYEON]**  
Let’s all go watch this movie; I don’t want to shop, either.

**[JIHYO]**  
Tzuyu… you okay?

**[TZUYU]**  
I asked Mina unnie again yesterday, about her and Momo unnie. And she was… _weird_ about it. But she still denied it. Is she lying to me?

**[JEONGYEON]**  
They’ll tell us when they’re ready to tell us.

**[NAYEON]**  
I agree. But I have to admit… if they weren’t together when they got married, they definitely are now. Chae, change my vote.

**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Okay, unnie.  


****  
  
On the matter of “Are Mina and Momo actually dating?”

YES: Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Sana, Jihyo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung  
NO: Tzuyu

-

NOVEMBER 2020  
OSAKA, JAPAN

  
**[CHAEYOUNG]**  
Okay, it’s recording. Guys, just look at the camera and say your messages. I’ll make a montage and we’ll show it in the reception, okay?

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Hi, Mina and Momo—

**[NAYEON]**  
Hey—I’m supposed to go first, Jeong! Respect your elders!

**[[JEONGYEON]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/eb0e6f2d3eb42940bdb7cde0f2697f98/tumblr_oz8hr8THSR1uh7ri8o1_1280.gif?w=605)**  
Ignore the annoying mosquito buzzing beside me. Mina, Momo, I hope you two are the happiest couple. You truly deserve the best. You deserve the world. We love you, MiMo. P.S. Mina, since Momo will literally never willingly clean up after herself, it’s up to you to make sure your house doesn’t get taken over by ants.

**[NAYEON]**  
Really? This is the happiest, most romantic day of their lives and you’re reminding them to have a clean household?

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Cleaning together is romantic.

**[[NAYEON]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/79b76e29ae402bae6513a140abccef59/tumblr_inline_obcyjhjw8Y1sccn28_400.gif)**  
You’re going to die single. _Anyway_ , Mina, Momo, now that you two are finally having a real wedding and not one where you’re wearing plastic rings and the priest is dressed like Elvis Presley, here are some words of advice from your wisest, most intelligent and beautiful friend—

**[JEONGYEON]**  
Who are you describing??

**[NAYEON]**  
—as I was saying; Mina, even though she’s going to be your wife now for real, you can’t let Momo have the last word on everything, okay? Be strong when she starts pouting and don’t let her get away with everything. And Momo, for the love of God, stop staring at Mina so much. She’s been your girlfriend for almost 3 years and you’re even engaged now and still you’re not even remotely subtle; it’s nauseating and I don’t want to have to put together an intervention.

**[[SANA]](https://pa1.narvii.com/6682/a2bdf72f14f3cca398ed5a963d9fe8402ac6674d_hq.gif)**  
I love you two so much, and even though you guys are getting married now, we’ll always be J-line. Before I start crying, I want to thank you for proving me right—really, where’s my prize for calling this years and years ago?—and please stay together till death do you part because I’ve also predicted that you’re going to stay together forever and I want to be right again. I love you, Momoring and Mitang.

**[[JIHYO]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/9c9ea05f04c13e7d4be246cb5e6da8e5/tumblr_inline_otnqm8S06I1t6da4c_400.gif)**  
The love you guys have for each other has always run really deep, and it’s been amazing seeing you go from trainees to friends, to band mates, and now to a couple. You two are perfect together. You make each other better and always have each other’s back. I wish you all the happiness in the world.

**[[DAHYUN]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/17ada77eeee4f8bbf621ae1edaa67e6b/tumblr_p2k8jseuJv1uh7ri8o1_400.gif)**  
Momo unnie, Mina unnie… back when we were trainees everyone knew you two understood each other like no one else did, and had a lot of things in common. When we became TWICE, it got even worse and you always had your own thing going on when no one was looking. I guess this is my way of saying that I was right when I called you aunt and uncle. Your wedding is going to be amazing and I’m so happy that it’s going to have an arcade and an all-you-can-eat buffet—you two really were made for each other.

**[[TZUYU]](https://i.imgur.com/0ZwNEDH.gif)**  
Mina unnie and Momo unnie, I know you’ll take good care of each other. You were good friends even before you became a couple, and have always been there for each other whenever one of you needed it. I hope you stay together forever and continue to make each other very, very happy. I love you both and I want to officially forgive Mina unnie for lying to me before about you guys being together. It wasn’t very convincing anyway.

**[[CHAEYOUNG]](https://78.media.tumblr.com/d56bfb0864ba0432463b38f0c0e42a4a/tumblr_inline_o9ltvegNAU1tae3h3_400.gif)**  
Mina unnie and Momo unnie, I recorded all this and put this together because I figured you’d want to laugh at it later... today you’re getting married and I thought this would be a good gift. I hope you two are very happy in your life together and you keep loving each other more and more each day. I love you both. Congratulations!  


-

NOVEMBER 2017.  
LAS VEGAS, UNITED STATES

There’s a second where Mina realizes she can’t keep track of everything Momo is doing in its entirety, only in parts—Momo is laughing, Momo is trying to hold her hand, Momo is making a humored comment about food that she can’t completely hear so she has to stare at her mouth to try to read her lips—that it dawns on Mina what a weird area she’s inhabiting right now, mentally. She’s drunk enough that she won’t remember any of this tomorrow, but she’s just sober enough to _know_ she won’t remember any of this tomorrow.

They were in a lobby. Some kind of lobby. Then it was late— _later_ —and Momo pulled her into an emptier hallway and Mina sort of had to pause because she wants to ask where they’re going, but the thought, the plan to ask, it keeps escaping her.

Meanwhile, Momo is carrying on saying something else Mina has difficulty following; she’s easily weaving in and out of languages, a mish-mash of Japanese and Korean with no particular pattern that Mina translates and then processes but by then, Momo is already saying something else.

And really, it’s not that she’s never been drunk before. She has, in fact, been drunk before. Just... not _this_ drunk. Not the-entire-world-is-blurry drunk. Not I-can’t-tell-if-I’m-dizzy-or-the-world-is-spinning drunk. Definitely not I’m-fascinated-by-my-best-friend’s-mouth drunk.

How many shots was it?

“Minaaaaa…Mitaaaaaaang…” She’s been following the curving and pouting and stretching of Momo’s lips around every word, drawn in as though magnetized by each movement. Unsteadily, she forcefully drags her gaze up from Momo’s lips to her eyes, and notices distantly that Momo’s own liquid gaze is decidedly unfocused, cast on her from underneath her lashes but only just barely managing to stay on her.

How many shots was it? 

“Minari, Mitang...”

There was that first one.

Momo is close, then she’s far. But she’s smiling; she’s happy; her hand is somewhere... Mina feels it but doesn’t know where it is.

“Mitaaaaang...”

There was that second one. No, that was the third one. But there was a second.

Momo is swaying back and forth, as if dancing—oh, she _is_ dancing; that explains why Mina can’t keep track of how distant or near they are. At times she’s very, very close to Mina’s jaw, like she wants to whisper something in her ear. And sometimes she’s very, very far away, like she’s going to step away from Mina. Except she doesn’t. She comes back. Her flushed cheeks come back. Her mouth comes back. And Mina feels like she’s pressed up against the wall—wait, no, she _is_ backed up against a wall. An unfamiliar wall, on the side of an unfamiliar hallway, but the support is comforting anyway. And Momo has a hand on her waist, which steadies her, too. Is it her waist or her ribs? Oh, it’s going up and down her side; that’s what it is. That’s where her hand has been.

Her eyes follow the easy grace and polish of Momo’s movements—she was made to dance, she really was; she’s perfect like this—and are so fascinated by different parts of Momo’s body that she’s not sure what to focus on, but then Momo grins at her again and Mina meets her eye and it’s like being submerged in a thick, heavy liquid.

“Mina... you’re so—you’re so pretty. Did you know?”

The words; they warm her all over. They’re slurred and stuttered a bit and she’s heard this voice so many times, has heard this comment from so many people, but in this specific moment, from this specific person, they make her swallow hard.

She can’t put words to what she’s feeling—how many shots was it? 

Was there a fourth one? Yes, there was. Momo shared it with her.

“Mitang, I like... when you dance, you know—you’re amazing...” It’s enthusiastic, Momo’s tone; it’s honest and gushing and that warmth creeping from Mina’s face down her neck and trickling into her stomach gets warmer and warmer, like her entire body is blushing. “We should—we should always dance together, Mitang; you’re so—we’re so good, you know?”

Mina receives lots and lots of compliments every day. For some reason, when the compliments come from Momo, they always manage to settle in deeper inside her, like they push past barriers of insecurity that other people are unable to pierce, and Mina almost starts believing that maybe the world sees her the way Momo sees her.

There’s a part of Mina that overthinks almost as naturally as she breathes, that second-guesses everything she does, that is always questioning whether she’s a step away from disappointing everyone who’s ever believed in her. This is the part of Mina that’s usually tucked away and out of sight—she doesn’t want to burden any of her fellow members with any additional concerns—but sometimes it all bleeds over into her demeanor when they have their public engagements and she’s soaked in fear that she’ll make a mistake and won’t be good enough to be in TWICE. The group members have varying degrees of shyness but she’s the one who sometimes wishes she could disappear into anonymity. Even when Mina manages to shrug this self-conscious weight off her shoulders, and successfully buries this part of her underneath all the encouragement she receives from fans and the strength planted inside her by her band mates, it always comes back.

And that’s what makes this particular moment in this vacant casino hallway equal parts terrifying and confusing; that the girl in front of her is the one person in TWICE who’s always understood her best, who’s always pushed her out of her comfort zone while _being_ her comfort zone. There’s one member who’s the only person Mina has ever met to be a stronger dancer than her, who’s taught her different styles and different movements and even though she’s older and better and bolder, has always treated Mina like her equal. Every member seems to make sure Mina’s shielded from the kind of attention that would wreck her nerves, and thankfully no one has looked at her vulnerabilities and equated them with weakness, but there’s one member who’s sat down with her behind stages and privately distracted her when her anxieties got the best of her, without ever coddling her. Mina loves every member more than she loves herself, but there’s one member she doesn’t think she could actually live without; one member she thinks she might need, always, with her. One member who almost _wasn’t_ with her; almost wasn’t here. A flashback to _Sixteen_ pricks her heart with pain and she flinches and instinctively grabs the side of Momo’s shirt, urging her own mind away from some of the worst memories she has— _no no no no_ don’t think about _Sixteen_ ; Momo came back; Momo is in TWICE with her; Momo is here with her. Momo is in a casino hallway with her, grinning and telling her that she’s pretty and they dance well together.

How many shots was it? Was there a fifth one?

Mina squeezes her eyes shut, gambles that this is what will do it, this is what will fix this—she’ll blink for a long time and when she opens her eyes, the world will be right-side-up again and she’ll piece together what’s going on here and won’t wish so badly that Momo was closer.

But she opens her eyes and finds that she’s indeed inadvertently tugged Momo even closer; her mouth is right there, an inch away from Mina’s. So close Mina detects the lingering moisture of alcohol in Momo’s breath, accompanying another string of slurred, murmured half-Korean, half-Japanese words. So close her heart performs a sort of twist inside her, as though it’s leapt into her throat and dropped down to her stomach at the same time. Clearly, her plan didn’t work.

“Minaaaaa...”

And now Mina can’t stop staring. Can’t stop staring at Momo’s lips because they’re inviting her and drawing her in and _asking_ her to lean forward.

It’s hard to understand the strength of this pull, and whether it’s the alcohol or just Momo being Momo. Sometimes Momo dials up her charm when speaking to fans and it’s like the world halts and changes shapes and begins to revolve around her, and Mina wonders if this is what the fans feel like, wonders if this is what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that Momo, to actually be attracted to Momo.

And then Momo’s lips brush the skin on one side of her neck while her hand burns the skin on the other side, and Mina has to close her eyes again, has to tighten her grip on Momo’s shirt to steady herself against the wave of shiver-inducing sensation, and because she doesn’t want Momo to pull back again and be far away again.

“Mina... you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” And Mina wants to say something, maybe something like no, Momo, _you’re_ the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen; you should be the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen, too. You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend; you’ve always been my best friend. I like you so much; please stay; just stay where you are. “Let’s—let’s always dance together, okay? Don’t dance with anyone else, okay?” 

Mina thinks about dancing with Momo, thinks about how pretty Momo is, thinks about her comfort zone being a person, and then it’s _too much_. She angles her head down, to where Momo is still pressing her mouth on her neck, somewhere between licking and biting her skin; she bends down a bit and kisses Momo instead, really kisses her, the way she’s always wanted to kiss someone before, but not the boys she’s given pecks to in the past, whom she couldn’t kiss, not really, because maybe they’d get the wrong idea about her liking them when really she just wanted to know what kissing felt like—no, she doesn’t kiss Momo like she kissed those boys; she rests her fingertips on Momo’s jaw and lets herself trace Momo’s tongue with her own, lets herself taste her mouth and nip and suck on her lip, and kisses her like she would kiss someone who shares all her jokes with her and helped her be the person she is, and who is so, so pretty and good at everything. She kisses Momo the way she would kiss the girl who’s made her wonder sometimes whether there’s some line she’s been blurring all these years between admiration and genuine crush; she kisses Momo like she wants to reach inside her and map her heart.

And Momo kisses her back like Mina is what’s made her drunk in the first place; makes a breathless noise of happiness and presses into her as though she were trying to fuse their bodies together. There’s a feeling that springs up from Mina's stomach to her chest when she notices Momo’s speeding pulse through her shirt, that makes Mina wonder if the world has actually, truly disappeared around them and the universe has left them alone in this corner of the earth, a corner made just for them.

Then Momo is watching her dazedly, with something like awe mixed with delight mixed with excitement, a brighter version of the same expression she had when she found and devoured what she called “the world’s best jokbal—seriously, this is it, guys; I found it.” And Mina is late to realize that they’re not kissing anymore, that Momo is saying something to her with blinding enthusiasm and determination, and then she licks the lingering taste of Momo’s kiss from her lips and has an abrupt moment of clarity during which the totality of their circumstances suddenly rushes into some semblance of sense.

She kissed Momo. She kissed her, and wants to kiss her again.

“… Mina, I want to kiss you forever.”

Momo wants to kiss her, too.

Mina hasn’t spoken this entire time because the words have been insufficient and she’s been fighting her intoxication and the haze of whatever she’s feeling towards Momo. But now she clears her throat and her voice is softer than she intended, softer than it usually is, and she finds that she’s smiling, too, because that’s her body’s automatic response to seeing Momo smile at her.

“You do?”

“Yes, I want—I want to kiss you whenever I want.”

Momo’s beam is so lively and sure, it makes Mina feel drunker, if that were even possible. 

“Minaaaaaaaa...” Mina thinks she might be addicted to Momo’s mouth. She wants to kiss it again so, so badly; it’s almost causing her physical pain to keep herself away so she can listen to what Momo is saying. She’s only kissed Momo once and already she’s withdrawing from her. “You know what we should do?”

The ounce of reason still floating between her thoughts notices that Momo's hand is tangled in hers, and wishes they could remember this tomorrow, so Momo would still want to kiss her, so Mina would still get to.

“We should get married, Mitang.”

How many shots was it?

“I want to marry you, Mitang.”

“You do?”

The same reply, but different. Mina has no idea what Momo is talking about, suddenly. Something about getting married, something about kissing her forever. But her mind’s wandered off in another direction; her body follows it eagerly.

“Yes; just marry me.”

Mina sinks back into another whirlpool of inebriation; pulls Momo to her again; kisses her cheek and her jaw and the space where the latter meets her neck.

“Okay, I’ll marry you.”

Momo widens her own toothy grin and bathes Mina in its brightness; her hands return to Mina’s sides and her lips to Mina’s own while Mina thinks with relief that Momo was right—this is how they should spend the rest of their lives, just kissing like this; everything makes sense, all at once.

“Myoui. Myoui Momo,” she hears mumbled into her mouth while Momo’s fingers tap a vaguely recognizable beat into her ribcage.

“No, Momo,” she disagrees faintly, pulling back a bit; “you’re... older.” She has to clear her throat again, almost unable to force out her next words because Momo is biting her neck again and it’s like her internal organs have shut down while simultaneously jumping into hyperactivity. “Hirai Mina.”

“No, Mina; Myoui Momo.” The biting stops for a moment because Momo’s raised her head to grin at her again and it’s worse than the biting, the effect this has on her body. “So our, um—so our... what is it called? The letters—the first letters, Mitang; what are they called—”

“Initials,” Mina responds, in what she thinks is Japanese.

“Initials, yes,” Momo repeats, in Korean.

Five shots. Six for Momo, though.

“We’ll both be MM.” Momo had six, and Mina is the one who’s drunker. “Like—like the chocolate.”

She’s the drunkest she’s ever been. And she’s going to marry Momo.

Also, she wants Momo to kiss her again.

“Okay.”

Momo smiles like the entire world is smiling back at her. And then she kisses Mina again.

-

What wakes her from her inebriated sleep is a punch of nausea so overwhelming that she barely makes it to the toilet in time.

Jihyo appears beside her, drowsy but concerned; lays a soothing hand on her back and offers her a water bottle and a towel, both of which Mina gratefully takes.

“Do you think you might throw up more?”

There’s really nothing inside her left for her body to cast out so Mina shakes her head slowly, careful not to worsen the pounding rattling her skull; rinses her mouth and lets herself be helped to her feet.

“We have about 40 minutes until we have to leave. Do you want to lay down for a bit more?”

“I think I’m going to shower,” she mumbles in response after noticing that she’s not wearing her pajamas. Apparently, she fell asleep still donning street clothes.

When she exits the bathroom weakly to gather her shower products, she halts in the twilight-like dimness of the room when her eyes take in the sight of Momo sprawled on her bed.

“What’s Momo doing here?” she inquires curiously, taken aback when Jihyo turns to her with a frown.

“What do you mean? You two came in together.”

“We did?”

“Yeah, you stumbled in super drunk at like 4 in the morning.”

The effort to remember anything at all from last night—let alone making it back to the hotel room, with or without Momo—feels like her temples are being sawed off, so Mina promptly gives up on her attempt.

Her shower is invigorating but only sobering enough that Mina no longer feels as though she’s a sack of bones devoid of any life force. Upon exiting the bathroom, she relaxes instantly when she’s greeted by an obviously relieved Momo just outside the doorway. They exchange nods of commiseration and camaraderie, reminding Mina of something that always occurs and she can always count on; this feeling that the shape of her fits better in the world whenever Momo is close by.

“This is it. This is death, Momo.” Her headache stomps back into her skull and she winces, dismayed that her nausea hasn’t completely dissipated yet, either. “I think my stomach is being turned inside out.”

“We must have consumed our body weight in alcohol,” Momo comments, her tone partially weary but also fond and amused, somehow. 

When Momo lays a gentle hand on her shoulder; Mina blinks back the odd sensation that there was something she had meant to say, or do, or remember. Like she made a mental note some time in the past, meant to be recalled in this exact moment, but her search is coming up unsettlingly empty.

“We’re such lightweights, Mitang.”

Mitang. The nickname Momo and Sana gave her when they were trainees.

Halfway through Momo’s teasing, self-effacing remark, Mina tries, again.

Mitang.

Something happened. Something...

Momo is grinning at her; paled in a shade a bit less deathly than her own, but clearly on her way to a terrible hangover as well.

How many shots was it?

Mitang.

Her head is going to burst and fall off her neck.

Mina gives up, again. 

Even through the worst headache she’s ever had in her life, it’s still easy to smile back at Momo, because that’s her body’s automatic response to seeing Momo smile at her. “Yes, we really are.”

-

[THE END](https://78.media.tumblr.com/55d81bd65b95608feeb1d2d31cf078aa/tumblr_o66rqgFW371rsfpwlo1_400.gif).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how to thank everyone for sticking with this story and being so kind and supportive throughout this journey, but there were three people who were truly my cheerleaders at each step:  
> @momosmayo, the person you should go to if you feel like having deep philosophical and religious discussions at 3am, and for whom I wrote "Choice"  
> @kyokoriing, the Once I met on Twitter and then got to meet in real life (I swear I will never recover from that), and for whom I wrote "Timing"  
> and @cryptidgayren, my Squirrel, my babe, to whom I wrote this epilogue (you talked to me after I posted the very first chapter, so here's the last chapter for you).
> 
> If you'd like to fangirl with me (and vote on which of the endings you liked best), [this](https://twitter.com/UnderneathTree/status/996244912734486528?s=20) is my Twitter.


End file.
